Do you know what fake feminine looks like?

Fake Feminine, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stLast week we began speaking about masks…specifically about masculine masks and what they look like.

But masculine masks aren’t the only masks that a woman can wear.

There is another kind of mask that can be even more damaging to both her and her relationships with other people.

What kind of mask is it?

A feminine mask.

Wearing a feminine mask… what is fake feminine?

The danger with wearing a feminine mask…with putting on ‘fake feminine’ is that in a lot of cases the women who are wearing them have no idea.

What’s worse is that they often believe that they are being feminine…sometimes even putting themselves forward as examples of femininity and what it can look like.

Not only is this confusing for them, but for others as well…it’s no wonder there’s so much confusion about femininity these days!

How can you identify fake feminine?

As with everything in life, the first step to being able to change anything is to be aware of it…so in today’s video I want to share with you more about what fake feminine is, and how you can identify it, both in yourself and others…

So how do we deal with fake feminine?

When it comes to fake feminine, there are two areas to look at…when we see it in ourselves and when we see it in others.

When it comes to ourselves, in many areas of life we’re taught to ‘fake it until we make it’…femininity is one of those areas where this doesn’t work. If we don’t feel it, if it doesn’t come authentically from the inside, it can end up as just another mask we put on over the top…and we just compound the challenges we have.

It’s better to begin with a teeny tiny amount of authentic femininity that you can nurture and grow, than put a huge feminine mask over the top of what’s already there, and just keep adding layers that aren’t being felt inside.  So if you notice a little ‘fake feminine’ in yourself, take some time to find a little piece of authentic feminine inside (you can find out more about what authentic feminine involves here to find that initial spark), then take a little time each day to acknowledge it, nurture it and grow it.

…and as I said in the video, when it comes to other women who are displaying ‘fake feminine’ although it would be easy to judge and criticise them, the best approach is to be even more of your authentic feminine self around them.

Fake feminine often comes from a place of insecurity, fear or lack…most women who put on ‘fake feminine’ do so because they don’t have the courage to be authentic and vulnerable.

The more you can be authentic and vulnerable around them, the more you give them permission to do the same.  The more you reach out with love and understanding, the safer they will feel to let go of their feminine mask and show their real self.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Have you ever worn a masculine mask?

Have you ever worn a Masculine Mask, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stIn life, a lot of people wear masks.

We do it to give the impression that we want to show to the outside world, to protect ourselves, to hide our vulnerabilities…

At some point or another most people have worn a mask.

The trouble with masks is that we’re not always aware that we’re wearing them.

…and that’s certainly the case with masculine masks.

How can you not know that you’re wearing a masculine mask?

Well these days, so many women are wearing masculine masks that it seems ‘normal’.

It doesn’t occur to many women that there is something unusual about it, because they are so similar to all the women around them.

If everyone is wearing a mask, there’s nothing to worry about, right?

Not necessarily.

Just because a lot of women are wearing them, doesn’t mean they’re a good idea.

So what is a masculine mask?

Well like any other mask, a masculine mask covers up what’s underneath, and shows something different to the outside world.

It hides who you really are, and gives the appearance that you are something else.

So today I want to share with you a little more about masculine masks, why women wear them and how to remove them…

So are you wearing a masculine mask, or do you know someone else who is?

The trouble with masculine masks is that they hide who we are, and in doing so create a distance between us and everyone around us…including ourselves.  They are often so securely in place that we don’t really know ourselves, and they can create so many challenges, especially in the area of relationships.

The first step in being able to remove a masculine mask is realising that it’s there…and one of the simplest ways to do that is to look at the list of masculine traits, and the list of feminine traits, and then do two things.

The first is to identify whether you are more masculine or feminine at core, which you can do with the help of this video.

The second is to look at the list of masculine traits, and the list of feminine traits, and then ask yourself which of these do you actively use on a regular basis?  If you use more traits on the masculine list, but you identify with being more feminine at core, chances are you’re wearing a masculine mask…and vice versa.

Once you’re aware that it’s there, you can then begin to learn how to let it go.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Why do some women avoid masculine men?

Why do some women avoid masculine men? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI find it interesting how strongly people can react to a simple word. As soon as you say the word masculine, some women just shut down, they’re not interested, they don’t want to know. When this happens most of the time I know exactly what’s happening…they are reacting to an image in their mind.   The perception of what masculine really is…but the reality is that they only know half the story.

So what’s the problem with masculine men?

The answer is that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with masculine men, often women just aren’t aware that there’s more than one type. It’s the same reason that some men are afraid of or resistant to reclaim their masculinity, because their perception of what that means isn’t the whole story. Last week I shared that there are two types of feminine, and it’s exactly the same with the masculine.

So why does it matter that there are two types of masculine?

Well, the reason it’s important to know that there are two types of masculine is that if you make your decision on how you feel about masculinity only seeing one (sometimes unappealing) aspect of it, it can skew your view on the whole thing. So, to help you out, today I’m sharing with you what the two types of masculine are…and why it’s important to be able to identify them…

So which type of masculine have you experienced?

As with the feminine, there are times when a man is feeling low, criticised, or like he’s failing where he may drop into the disempowered masculine…but it’s important to know whether he lives there or just visits from time to time when his energy is low.

So I’m curious…what type of masculine have you experienced?

Have you seen both in action?  Can you bring to mind examples of times when you’ve seen one or the other in a man you know?

…and most importantly which do you want to support your man in being?

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Have you ever had a reaction to the word Feminine? Did you know there are two types of feminine?

Do you know there are two types of feminine?  Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI love travelling all over the world meeting different people, and when you do what I do for a living it’s always a conversation starter. What’s interesting is how often I see people have a negative reaction to the word ‘feminine’ or ‘femininity’, and it made me curious.

The reason for the feminine reaction

Whenever I’ve seen this happen, further conversation has revealed that it wasn’t femininity or feminine that was causing the reaction, it was a misperception as to what the word meant. Normally the misperception came about because they only knew about one of the types of feminine…not the other. The most interesting example I saw of this was a man who was very masculine at his core telling me that he wasn’t attracted to feminine women, he was attracted to ones who were operating from their masculine.

Did you know there are two types of feminine?

When we spoke more, I realised that it wasn’t that he was attracted to masculinity in a woman, he was just unaware that there were two types of feminine. Hearing him describe femininity was very eye-opening.  He viewed feminine women as needy, attention seeking, a drain on his energy, where nothing he did was ever good enough. A light bulb went on in my head.  He had only experienced one type of feminine woman…and didn’t even know that there was another. So today I want to share with you about the two types of feminine…as you may not have experienced them both…

So which type of feminine are you?

The answer is that if we’re a feminine woman there are times when we’ve been in both.  When we’re tired, run down, exhausted, and haven’t been looking after ourselves, we naturally drop into the disempowered feminine, because we’ve not taken the time to fill our own cup.

The secret is to notice when this is happening and take some time to nurture ourselves, to stop doing and allow ourselves to just be for a bit in order to find our way back to our empowered feminine again, because that’s where we want to live.

So this week, I invite you to notice the women around you, and whether they are in an empowered or disempowered feminine…and most importantly to notice yourself, and what you can do for yourself if you find yourself coming from the disempowered feminine at times.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

How do I find the balance between needy and not interested?

How do you find the balance between needy and not bothered? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI love being able to share things that I know people want to know about.

So having received over 100 questions in the last few weeks  about femininity, masculinity, polarity, dating and relationships, I’ve been in my element.

Last night I got to share the answers to some of these questions with the people who joined me for the live Q&A webinar I hosted.

…but I also wanted to make sure that if you weren’t able to join us live that you didn’t miss out…

Have you ever wondered what being needy is all about?

So today I wanted to share with you the answer to one of the questions that I shared on the Q&A call, and let you know that if you want to hear the rest of them, that there’s an opportunity for you to do so.

So the question I was asked was “How do I find the balance between being needy and not bothered at all?”

What I realised when I was answering this though, was that this doesn’t just relate to dating and intimate relationships…this relates to every kind of relationship we have!

So how do you find the balance between being needy and not at all bothered?

Well the good news is that there is a balance between the two.

A sweet spot between one extreme and the other.

The place that if you can find it will make a huge difference to all your relationships.

That point is ‘desire’.

So today I’m going to share with you the difference between neediness and desire, to help you begin to transform the relationships in every area of your life.

Watch the video now to find out the answer:

So would you prefer to be in desire, than needy?

For most people, this is a no brainer.  They’d choose desire every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

So what are the steps to making this shift?

  • First you need to understand what your fundamental needs are.
  • Second you need to be sure that your basic needs are being met by you.
  • Third you need to recognise your own value and worth on your own, without needing anything external to complete you.

If you’d like a helping hand in taking these steps, and others that will help you to attract the relationship that you desire and deserve, then I’d love for you to join me on the Femininity for the Single Woman Video Course: How to Attract the Relationship You Desire & Deserve. Click here to find out more: Click here for more information.

…and if you’d like to hear the rest of the fantastic questions from the Q&A call, but weren’t able to join us last night, then I have good  news! I’m hosting an encore call next Thursday, 21st March at 9pm.  Sign up here to receive all of the details of the call, as well as the free video series and webinar the 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love, direct to your inbox:

Can’t wait to speak to you again soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Why am I attracting the opposite of what I want?

Why am I attracting the opposite of what I want? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stOver the last few weeks I’ve been delighted to be able to share with some incredible women some insights on how to attract the relationship that they are looking for.

As part of that process I asked for women to share with me their burning questions about femininity, masculinity, polarity and relationships.

And boy did I get what I asked for!

I have nearly 100 questions spanning a whole range of topics in this area…all of them great questions that I can imagine that a lot of people would like to know the answer to.

So today I have two pieces of exciting news.

1) I’m going to be answering one of these questions in today’s video

2) I’m going to be running another free webinar next Tuesday evening (12th March) at 9pm UK time to answer some more of them!

Why am I attracting the opposite of what I want?

Today’s question is one I hear coming up in slightly different variations on a regular basis…and it doesn’t just apply to relationships.

When we aren’t getting what we want in life, we want to know why.

If we understand why we’re not getting it, then we can actually do something about it!

So have you ever asked, why am I attracting the opposite of what I want?

I’m guessing at some point in your life you have.  It might have been relating to men, to money, to your career…but the chances are it’s popped up at some point.

So in today’s video I want to share with you four possible reasons why it might be happening for you.

It’s been a busy time over here at Feminine 1st HQ and today’s video was recorded in the twilight hours…so the lighting is a little more ambient than usual…but you’ll get the message loud and clear all the same!

Watch the video now to find out the answer:

So which of the reasons was causing you to ask “Why am I attracting the opposite of what I want?”

So there you have it, the four most likely reasons that you might be attracting the opposite of what you want.

If number 4 is resonating with you, and you’d like to get the tools and techniques that will help you to attract the relationship that you desire and deserve, then check out the Femininity for the Single Woman Video Course…which you can find out about here now: Click here for more information.

…and if you’d like to hear the answers to more great questions like this, then make sure that you’re signed up for the 7 Mistakes Single Women Make When Looking For Love AND The 1 Thing You Need To Know To Attract The Relationship You Desire & Deserve video series and webinar. I’ll be send out out all the information about next week’s call very soon!  Click here to sign up for all the details:

Can’t wait to see you soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

How can you help yourself to find a masculine man or feminine woman?

Show up as feminine to help them show up as masculine, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo as we talked about last week, when we learn about polarity and the masculine and feminine, we realise that we want to be with someone who brings the opposite energy.

We want to find, attract, and be with someone who will be our equal and opposite, the one who will be the yang to our yin, the masculine to our feminine or vice versa.

What we don’t realise is that it’s not just about what’s inside the other person, whether they are masculine or feminine at core is not the whole story….

How do I find that masculine  man or feminine woman?

This is a question I get asked a lot.  How can I find this, or how can I find that?  Where can I find my masculine man? Where do all the feminine woman go?

I’m sorry to break it to you, there isn’t a secret underground club in London where they’re all hiding out just waiting for you to show up!

Looking for a masculine man or a feminine woman may be exactly where your problem lies…you might be focusing in the wrong place.

So where should I be looking to find my masculine man, or feminine woman?

What a lot of people don’t realise is that they’re looking for it ‘out there’, what we don’t realise is that what’s ‘in here’ (i.e. inside you) is what matters most of all.

What you’re bringing to the table is signalling what you want them to bring to the table.  Watch the video now to find out how the masculine men and feminine women are probably hiding in plain sight…

So my masculine or feminine will affect their masculine or feminine?

Yes!  As I said before, what you bring to the table is what you’re signalling to them that you’d like them to bring to the table.

Imagine that you’ve been invited to a barbecue on a lovely hot summer’s afternoon. There’s going to be a buffet table of salad and everyone will be bringing something to share.

Before you go to the store to work out what you want to bring for the salad buffet, you want to check what else is already on the table. You call the person who’s organising the BBQ and ask them what they already have.  If they tell you that they already have potato salad, the chances are that you’re not going to want to bring the same….instead you’ll want to bring something that will compliment the potato salad so that the buffet is more enjoyable for everyone.

The same is true with the masculine and feminine.  It often doesn’t happen at a conscious level, but subconsciously people will look and see what’s already on the table to work out what they can bring that will compliment what’s already there.  If you are showing up in a masculine way, it is possible that the man you’re with will bring his feminine to the table so that you don’t end up with a whole table full of potato salad!

So understanding and realising that how you show up can, and will affect how they show up will help you to find more of the masculine in any man.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Did you know that your femininity is as unique as you are?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo often when I’m speaking to women about femininity they scrunch their nose up and awkwardly say “but I’m not girly…so does that mean I’m not feminine?”

I know that I’ve written about this in the past, but because it seems to be such a big stumbling block for so many women I felt it was a good idea to give us a good reminder.

So today I want to ask you if you realise that your femininity is as unique as you are…and how you can find it in a way that feels comfortable and natural to you.  Watch the video to hear more:

Your femininity, is just that.  YOUR femininity.  It looks, sounds, feels and is whatever is right for you.  So this week I invite you to have a play with the 8 aspects of the feminine and find out what they look, sound and feel like for you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and also any questions that you might have, so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Wishing you an amazing week,

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

How do you tell if you’re more feminine or masculine at your core?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo we know that we all have both masculine and feminine traits inside us…but all the time people are asking me “Claire, how do I tell whether I’m more masculine or feminine at my core?”

There are a lot of different ways that you can tell which of the two energies is more natural for you…but there is one very simple, quick and easy way that in my experience works for everyone…and today I want to share it with you.

Now, I’m putting a disclaimer on this video…If you’re easily offended, or uncomfortable with the topic of sex then I want you to be aware that this video might stretch you out of your comfort zone a bit.  I also wouldn’t recommend watching it at your desk at work (or if you do, I’d invest in a pair of headphones!)…it might raise a few eyebrows while people are working on their morning coffee!

So enough chat…watch the video to see how you can find out what energy you are at your core:

The one thing to remember in this is that it only tells you which of the energies is the most natural for you – the one you tend towards at your core.  As we know, we all have both energies inside us and this doesn’t tell you what the balance of the two is.  So when you’re aware of which energy is most natural for you, it’s then fun to have a play with the different energies and traits to see what balance also feels right.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and also any questions that you might have about understanding whether you are more masculine or feminine at your core,  so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Wishing you an amazing week,

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

The Magnetism of the Masculine and the Feminine

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday I want to share with you about the magnetic qualities of the masculine and feminine and how important they are to creating that real passion, desire and attraction within relationships.

We look at the consequences of feminine women being completely in their masculine, masculine men being completely in their feminine, people neutralising themselves…and also what can happen when we get someone who lives in their feminine coming together with someone who lives in their masculine.

Watch the video to find out all about it…

It’s also important to remember that masculine doesn’t have to mean a man and feminine doesn’t have to mean a woman…it’s possible for a man to be more feminine at his core and for a woman to be more masculine, although it is more rare.  As long as you have a strong feminine energy and a strong masculine energy, whether that’s between a man and a woman, a woman and a man, two men, two women…it doesn’t matter…you’ll feel that magnetic pull.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the magnetism of the masculine and the feminine,  so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you are a single woman, I have a little gift for you….I am running some free webinars on “Femininity for the Single Woman” in the coming weeks…click here for all the details: