Do you know how to speak ‘man language’?

Do you know how to speak man language, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday marks the end of an era for Feminine 1st.

It also marks the start of a new exciting time ahead.

Today’s newsletter tells you all about what’s changing, why and how…and how a revelation for me could also be a revelation for you…so I highly recommend grabbing a cup of tea and having a read when it’s delivered to your inbox later today.

The short and sweet version is that today is the last day that the weekly Feminine 1st videos will be available to anyone who isn’t a member of the Feminine 1st Family.

The good news is that if you want to know more, and want to take advantage of the special introductory offer open only to a select group of people until midnight on Friday you can find out all of the details here.

Why do you need to know how to speak ‘man language’?

So as today will be the last weekly video that is available to non-members, I wanted to make it a particularly important one.

One of the main challenges in any kind of relationship, but especially that between a man and a woman, is communication.

A survey conducted by Your Tango last year shared that the number one reason for divorce is communication problems…and it’s not just marriages where this causes trouble.

The problem?  Because we are all using the same words, the same dialogue, the same phrases…we believe we’re speaking the same language.

The reality is that we’re not.

Men and women have fundamentally different ways of communicating, the meaning we associate with certain words and phrases can be at odds and we get frustrated when we don’t feel that we’re being understood.

So if you don’t know how to speak ‘man language’ you might as well be speaking Mandarin to a Frenchman…

So what is ‘man language’?

In today’s video I give you an overview of the difference between ‘man language’ and ‘woman language’.

There is much more detail I could go into about the certain buzz words that resonate more with men than women, noticing when he’s in the mode where ‘man language’ is essential and also the difference in how men and women communicate and process information…but I’ll save that for another time.

Today is all about awareness.

The most important thing for you to know about man language is that it exists…in the same way that woman language does too.

That just because you’re both speaking English, or French, or Italian or Dutch, does not mean you’re saying and hearing the same thing.

We all have the ability to speak both, but there is one that is our ‘native tongue’ and one that takes a little more effort on our part, to speak and to understand.

5 Minutes Men vs WomenMen-Vs-Women-EnglishThere are a plethora of ‘funnies’ that do the rounds every now and again making jokes about the differences between what women say or mean, or what men and women mean when they say the same thing, like the examples I’ve included here.

The reason that people find them funny is because we all recognise an element of truth in them.

So today I want to share with you how important understanding the difference between man language and woman language is…

So why do women need to speak ‘man language’?

The simple answer is…they don’t.

No-one needs to speak any language they don’t want to.

Women don’t need to speak man language.  Men don’t need to speak woman language.

…as long as we’re happy to live with the communication problems in relationships.

You don’t need to speak man language at all…but if you want to communicate something important to a man who is important to you…what reason is there not to?

…and the same goes for men.

Because the same principles apply for men communicating with women as for women communicating with men.

At the end of the day if we want to communicate something to someone else, no matter who they are, where they’re from or what language they speak, and them understanding what we’re saying is important to us, then it’s in OUR interests to use THEIR language 🙂

So the question is, do you want to learn to speak man language, or not?  The choice is yours…

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Do you know what fake feminine looks like?

Fake Feminine, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stLast week we began speaking about masks…specifically about masculine masks and what they look like.

But masculine masks aren’t the only masks that a woman can wear.

There is another kind of mask that can be even more damaging to both her and her relationships with other people.

What kind of mask is it?

A feminine mask.

Wearing a feminine mask… what is fake feminine?

The danger with wearing a feminine mask…with putting on ‘fake feminine’ is that in a lot of cases the women who are wearing them have no idea.

What’s worse is that they often believe that they are being feminine…sometimes even putting themselves forward as examples of femininity and what it can look like.

Not only is this confusing for them, but for others as well…it’s no wonder there’s so much confusion about femininity these days!

How can you identify fake feminine?

As with everything in life, the first step to being able to change anything is to be aware of it…so in today’s video I want to share with you more about what fake feminine is, and how you can identify it, both in yourself and others…

So how do we deal with fake feminine?

When it comes to fake feminine, there are two areas to look at…when we see it in ourselves and when we see it in others.

When it comes to ourselves, in many areas of life we’re taught to ‘fake it until we make it’…femininity is one of those areas where this doesn’t work. If we don’t feel it, if it doesn’t come authentically from the inside, it can end up as just another mask we put on over the top…and we just compound the challenges we have.

It’s better to begin with a teeny tiny amount of authentic femininity that you can nurture and grow, than put a huge feminine mask over the top of what’s already there, and just keep adding layers that aren’t being felt inside.  So if you notice a little ‘fake feminine’ in yourself, take some time to find a little piece of authentic feminine inside (you can find out more about what authentic feminine involves here to find that initial spark), then take a little time each day to acknowledge it, nurture it and grow it.

…and as I said in the video, when it comes to other women who are displaying ‘fake feminine’ although it would be easy to judge and criticise them, the best approach is to be even more of your authentic feminine self around them.

Fake feminine often comes from a place of insecurity, fear or lack…most women who put on ‘fake feminine’ do so because they don’t have the courage to be authentic and vulnerable.

The more you can be authentic and vulnerable around them, the more you give them permission to do the same.  The more you reach out with love and understanding, the safer they will feel to let go of their feminine mask and show their real self.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Have you ever worn a masculine mask?

Have you ever worn a Masculine Mask, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stIn life, a lot of people wear masks.

We do it to give the impression that we want to show to the outside world, to protect ourselves, to hide our vulnerabilities…

At some point or another most people have worn a mask.

The trouble with masks is that we’re not always aware that we’re wearing them.

…and that’s certainly the case with masculine masks.

How can you not know that you’re wearing a masculine mask?

Well these days, so many women are wearing masculine masks that it seems ‘normal’.

It doesn’t occur to many women that there is something unusual about it, because they are so similar to all the women around them.

If everyone is wearing a mask, there’s nothing to worry about, right?

Not necessarily.

Just because a lot of women are wearing them, doesn’t mean they’re a good idea.

So what is a masculine mask?

Well like any other mask, a masculine mask covers up what’s underneath, and shows something different to the outside world.

It hides who you really are, and gives the appearance that you are something else.

So today I want to share with you a little more about masculine masks, why women wear them and how to remove them…

So are you wearing a masculine mask, or do you know someone else who is?

The trouble with masculine masks is that they hide who we are, and in doing so create a distance between us and everyone around us…including ourselves.  They are often so securely in place that we don’t really know ourselves, and they can create so many challenges, especially in the area of relationships.

The first step in being able to remove a masculine mask is realising that it’s there…and one of the simplest ways to do that is to look at the list of masculine traits, and the list of feminine traits, and then do two things.

The first is to identify whether you are more masculine or feminine at core, which you can do with the help of this video.

The second is to look at the list of masculine traits, and the list of feminine traits, and then ask yourself which of these do you actively use on a regular basis?  If you use more traits on the masculine list, but you identify with being more feminine at core, chances are you’re wearing a masculine mask…and vice versa.

Once you’re aware that it’s there, you can then begin to learn how to let it go.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Why do some women avoid masculine men?

Why do some women avoid masculine men? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI find it interesting how strongly people can react to a simple word. As soon as you say the word masculine, some women just shut down, they’re not interested, they don’t want to know. When this happens most of the time I know exactly what’s happening…they are reacting to an image in their mind.   The perception of what masculine really is…but the reality is that they only know half the story.

So what’s the problem with masculine men?

The answer is that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with masculine men, often women just aren’t aware that there’s more than one type. It’s the same reason that some men are afraid of or resistant to reclaim their masculinity, because their perception of what that means isn’t the whole story. Last week I shared that there are two types of feminine, and it’s exactly the same with the masculine.

So why does it matter that there are two types of masculine?

Well, the reason it’s important to know that there are two types of masculine is that if you make your decision on how you feel about masculinity only seeing one (sometimes unappealing) aspect of it, it can skew your view on the whole thing. So, to help you out, today I’m sharing with you what the two types of masculine are…and why it’s important to be able to identify them…

So which type of masculine have you experienced?

As with the feminine, there are times when a man is feeling low, criticised, or like he’s failing where he may drop into the disempowered masculine…but it’s important to know whether he lives there or just visits from time to time when his energy is low.

So I’m curious…what type of masculine have you experienced?

Have you seen both in action?  Can you bring to mind examples of times when you’ve seen one or the other in a man you know?

…and most importantly which do you want to support your man in being?

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Have you ever had a reaction to the word Feminine? Did you know there are two types of feminine?

Do you know there are two types of feminine?  Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI love travelling all over the world meeting different people, and when you do what I do for a living it’s always a conversation starter. What’s interesting is how often I see people have a negative reaction to the word ‘feminine’ or ‘femininity’, and it made me curious.

The reason for the feminine reaction

Whenever I’ve seen this happen, further conversation has revealed that it wasn’t femininity or feminine that was causing the reaction, it was a misperception as to what the word meant. Normally the misperception came about because they only knew about one of the types of feminine…not the other. The most interesting example I saw of this was a man who was very masculine at his core telling me that he wasn’t attracted to feminine women, he was attracted to ones who were operating from their masculine.

Did you know there are two types of feminine?

When we spoke more, I realised that it wasn’t that he was attracted to masculinity in a woman, he was just unaware that there were two types of feminine. Hearing him describe femininity was very eye-opening.  He viewed feminine women as needy, attention seeking, a drain on his energy, where nothing he did was ever good enough. A light bulb went on in my head.  He had only experienced one type of feminine woman…and didn’t even know that there was another. So today I want to share with you about the two types of feminine…as you may not have experienced them both…

So which type of feminine are you?

The answer is that if we’re a feminine woman there are times when we’ve been in both.  When we’re tired, run down, exhausted, and haven’t been looking after ourselves, we naturally drop into the disempowered feminine, because we’ve not taken the time to fill our own cup.

The secret is to notice when this is happening and take some time to nurture ourselves, to stop doing and allow ourselves to just be for a bit in order to find our way back to our empowered feminine again, because that’s where we want to live.

So this week, I invite you to notice the women around you, and whether they are in an empowered or disempowered feminine…and most importantly to notice yourself, and what you can do for yourself if you find yourself coming from the disempowered feminine at times.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Would you like to know how to reduce the worry, stress and anxiety in your life?

Would you like to know how to release stress, worry and anxiety? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stHaving spoken to and worked with a significant number of women from all over the world, there are a few things that they all have in common.

One of these things is that every single one of them has something in her life that is causing her to worry, stress or have anxiety.

I’ve yet to find a woman anywhere in the world who has never experienced worry stress or anxiety of some form.

Every woman experiences some kind of worry, stress and anxiety…

Not only have I spoken to many women about this…I also happen to be a woman!

If I had a penny for every time I’ve worried about something, got stressed or felt anxious…I’d be one very wealthy woman by now!

From a passing thought about an upcoming deadline that interrupts my yoga practice, to a full scale meltdown over the stress of my job when I worked in the corporate world…me and anxiety have become well acquainted.

So I wanted to know how to release this worry, stress and anxiety…

Studies have found that women differ from men not only in their emotional responses to stress, but also that acute and chronic stress may take a greater toll on womens’ physical and mental health.

Just some of the symptoms that women suffer from with stress are: Reduced sex drive, irregular periods, acne breakouts, hair loss, poor digestion, depression, insomnia, weight gain and decreased fertility.

So finding ways to reduce and release any worry, stress and anxiety that you’re experiencing has got to be a good thing!

So today I share with you one really quick and easy tip to help you to release the stress, let go of the worry and say bye bye to anxiety:

The more you practice releasing the worry, stress and anxiety, the easier it becomes…

When we first begin doing this, it can seem a little challenging…after all we’ve been in the habit of worry, stress and anxiety for a long time!

So this week I invite you to notice any time that you are experiencing worry, stress and anxiety, and give it a go.

Practice it as often as you can and before you know it, it will be second nature!

…and if you know another woman who experiences worry, stress and anxiety, then I would love for you to share this article with her so that she can begin to practice it too…even better you can support each other along the way.

Find a friend you’d like to do this with and commit to sending each other a text, message, or email whenever you feel worry or stress coming up with what you’re focusing on in the moment to let it go.  It’ll mean you have some support along the way, and you get to share ideas for what to be grateful for in the moment!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you know how to release masculine tension?

Do you know how to release masculine tension? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSynchronicity is awesome.

There are several times when the universe just conspires in our favour.

A couple of weeks ago when I was at the top of the Tor at Glastonbury I recorded a couple of videos in order to share the beautiful scenery with you as much as possible.

When I got back, I got the videos all edited and ready to go, so that I could share them over the next couple of weeks.

Now normally I don’t tend to plan my videos too far in advance, I like to go with my intuition as to what is the right thing to share.  Having followed my intuition I’ve received many beautiful messages from women around the world letting me know that the video came at just the right time for something that was happening in her life and really helped.

So from the top of the Tor I followed my intuition again and this time it led me to share about something that has been a really important understanding for me – how to release masculine tension.

….then synchronicity struck again.  I was delighted when I was talking to a friend last week and she said “you know I’ve been working on trying to release some of the tension in my body”…so I hope you will find this information valuable too.

So why is tension masculine?

As I share in the video, tension in the muscles in your body tends to happen for one of a couple of reasons.

The first reason is protection.  Our bodies naturally tense up in order to protect ourselves…if we see anything coming towards us that could harm our body, we instinctively tense our muscles and contract.  If you ever saw boys playing the game ‘who can punch each other in the stomach harder’ when they were younger, the way they prepared for the impact was to tense the stomach muscles, as it protects the organs inside from the punch.

The second reason is to ‘do’ something.  In order to ‘do’ most things, our bodies need to tense and use the muscles in the body.  In order to move, to lift things, even to keep warm! When we get cold our muscles tense and cause us to shiver in order to warm the body up.

Both doing and protection are both masculine traits…the feminine is more about being and allowing.

So why do I want to get rid of masculine tension?

Now, as we know, we all have both masculine and feminine inside us, so having an element of masculine tension isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a question of balance.

These days so many women spend so much time in their masculine in order to be successful in their careers that they have a disproportionate amount of masculine tension in their bodies.

When we have too much of this masculine tension in our bodies, we can end up feeling drained, so it’s important to know how to release it when we can feel it.

So today I’m sharing with you a couple of tips for how to release masculine tension from the top of a very windy Tor! (apologies for the dips in sound)…

So will you now release your masculine tension?

So where do we tend to feel and notice this masculine tension?

The simple answer is that it can be in any part of our bodies but there are a few ‘usual suspects’ to look out for.

We tend to feel this tension primarily in our stomachs, backs, necks and shoulders. We can also notice it appearing in the form of headaches and tension in our foreheads and temples.

So if you notice any of this tension creeping in then I invite you to try out the suggestions in the video to release it and let it go.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you know when to follow your intuition and tell your head to butt out?

Do you know when to follow your intuition and tell your head to butt out? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI’m sure that, like me, you’re a pretty smart cookie most of the time.

I love my brain.  It’s a helpful way to fill the space between my ears, comes in handy when I’m puzzling over a sudoku and is my secret weapon to place when it comes to organisation.

It’s also a pain in the @ss at times.

I know it’s only trying to help, but boy can it get in the way.

Let’s think about this.

Let’s over analyse that.

Let’s consider the other.

Quite frankly there are times that I’m over it.

At these times I mentally dictate a memo along the following lines:

Dear Brain,

Thanks for sharing.

Now go sit in the corner and have a cup of tea while I let intuition take the reigns.


Claire x

Does intuition get the reigns often enough in your house?

Last week I had a perfect example of this.

I had a friend who I’d known for about, um, four and a half days (I’m sure the half is important to the story) who sent me a message saying that she was going with another couple of friends for a day trip down to Stonehenge and Glastonbury.  They were going to hire a car to go down, and asked if (1) I wanted to come and (2) if I wanted to drive.

I went with my intuition in the moment and said yes.

Does your initial intuition get overruled by your head?

So I said yes.

Then I began to do my research.

That’s when my brain started knocking at the door and saying “Are you sure you don’t want my input?”

Well OK then brain, let me know what you think.

I start to realise that the journey is probably going to be between 7 and 8 hours of driving, which is probably double what I would want to do in a single day.

We will need to leave very early, and do the M25 in rush hour, and because we needed to be back by 6pm as our friends had dinner plans, we would be doing rush hour in the other direction too.

…and for all this we would probably have about 3 hours at Glastonbury.

Oh, and did I mention that the day beforehand we had heavy snow?

Commitment already made, analysis goes into overdrive.

After a short while of stressing about the various different challenges in this plan (and after a little assistance from a special someone), I remembered that my intuition had told me to go.

It was my head that was arguing with it.

Based on prior experience, which was the more reliable source?

I’ll give you two guesses…it’s not the one that starts with ‘h’ and ends in ‘ead’.

So I decided to breathe, trust that it was all going to work out as it was supposed to, and just enjoy the day.

I chose to go with the flow, to be in flow, to let my feminine intuition guide me and put the masculine logic to bed.

…and this is what happened, shared from the top of a very windy tor! (apologies for the dips in sound)…

So will you go with the flow and follow your intuition?

I had such an amazing day, and even the moments that I could have got frustrated by I found a way to enjoy.

When we were sitting for hours in traffic we got even more time to chat and connect as a group, and when everyone had a nap on the way home I got to have some time with my thoughts to reflect on the day.

If I’d listened to my head I’d have missed out on a beautiful day that left me feeling really filled up, very happy and was just what my inner woman needed.

So I invite you to follow your intuition and learn when to send your brain a memo saying “Thanks for sharing, now go and have a cup of tea in the corner, and let intuition handle this one!”

I can’t wait to speak to you again soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Did you miss the Q&A Webinar on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating & Relationships?

 The full recording of the Q&A webinar on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating & Relationships is now live, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stThe full recording of the Q&A webinar on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating & Relationships is now live!

Well it’s been an interesting couple of weeks over at Feminine 1st.

One or two little pink gremlins found their way into my system and delayed  me providing the link to the recording of the Q&A webinar that I hosted a couple of weeks ago.

I have had plenty of people reaching out to ask me when I’ll be sending it through…so I’ve been working my little tail off to make it available for you.

Did you want a question answered about femininity…?

So today I have good news! The gremlins have been evicted, the recording has been uploaded and you can now find out whether I answered your burning questions about femininity, masculinity, polarity, dating and relationships on the webinar.

So here is the full recording of the Q&A session on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating and Relationships, in full!

I’m so grateful that knowing how busy your life is, that you want to take an hour to spend it getting your questions answered, because you understand how important the area of relationships is.  Taking some time to focus on this area can make such a difference to our lives.

So here, as promised is the full webinar where I answer as many of the questions that were sent through to me as possible in an hour, for you to watch at a time that is convenient for you.

Although the competition was live only for the duration of the calls, I highly encourage you to watch the recording in the next couple of days as today I am opening up the special bonus gift of a free one-on-one mentoring session with me for the first 5 ladies who choose to join me on my new program on how to attract the relationships that you desire and deserve via the recording.

When I refer to clicking on the banner at the top of the screen, click on this link here, it will take you to the same page.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you pop over here to sign up for the free 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love video series …and for the bonus videos that I’ve been sharing since the webinars were recorded!

…and if you’d like to set up a ‘next date’ for us to get to know each other better then click here to send me a request for a ‘soul session’ – a free 30 minute call where you get to find out a little bit more about me, I get to find out a little bit more about you, and together we can work out what the best next steps are for you.

Can’t wait to speak to you soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Would you like to know how to unleash the masculine in your man?

How to unleash the masculine in your man, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stWell, I was overwhelmed by the response to last week’s video, and I was delighted to know that the information I shared in my first ever television interview resonated with you.

I got some amazing feedback about how well you related to feeling tired, uninspired and unfulfilled in your work…and how much you loved the difference between the masculine and feminine approaches to success…with the example of the tall building and the valuable city.

If you missed the interview, click here to check it out:

So as promised last week, today I am sharing with you part 2 of the interview, in which we move on to talk about relationships.

Have you ever wondered how you can bring out the masculine in your man?

Ania and Lieanne ask me some really juicy questions in this clip, and I’m delighted that this week I’m  able to share my insights with you on the questions they asked…. ‘What can women do about the fact that they’re being successful in their careers, but not in their love lives?’, ‘Where are the strong masculine men?’, ‘How can we get back into our feminine when we’re spending a lot of time in the masculine?’, ‘Do you tell your man if you’re working on this, or do you just do it?’, but my favourite question of all was ‘What can a woman do to unleash that wild tiger in their man and get them to be very masculine?’

How can I unleash the masculine ‘tiger’ in my man?

This is a question that I get asked a lot.

Not necessarily the ‘tiger’ bit…but you get the gist.

The essence of it is “How can I bring out the masculine in my man?”

…and the answer is very simple.

There’s one thing that you can do, that will bring the masculine out in any man who is masculine at his core.

For some it will be almost instantaneous…for others it may take a little time.  But it will work with any masculine man…guaranteed.

Would you like to know what it is?

Check out the video now to find the secret to unleashing the masculine in your man:

So are you prepared to do what it takes to bring out the masculine in your man?

As I mention in the video…this can feel like you’re taking a risk.

You want to trust that your man will step up and in…but there’s always that little voice in the back of your mind wondering ‘what if he doesn’t?’

The simple thing to remember is, if you try it, you have the possibility of experiencing the best of the masculine in your man.  If you don’t you’re almost guaranteed that you won’t get to experience it.

So if it’s a choice between possibility and certainty that you won’t get the experience that you want, which will you choose?

I know from first hand experience, that the risk is worth taking.  Because when you experience a relationship that gets to enjoy the best of the masculine and the best of the feminine…it’s better than you could have ever imagined.

So…I invite you to give it a try yourself, you might end up being surprised….

Can’t wait to speak to you again soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x