Do you ask for what you want…?

QuestionsLast week I was lucky enough to enjoy a beautiful afternoon with some amazing friends in the sunshine in Hyde Park here in London. We had a beautiful day chilling out, relaxing, chatting and laughing.

One of the friends who joined us for the afternoon also brought along her two gorgeous children with her…and fun and laughter ensued.

At one point during the afternoon one of the kids came up to me and asked if I would take them over to the play area for a bit…so we picked up our flip flops and headed over to the swings.

I sat and watched the kids playing along with dozens of other children from a whole host of different backgrounds and cultures…such is the beauty of spending time in London! 🙂

What jumped out at me was just how much us adults could stand to learn from the children in that playground….and especially how reconnecting with our inner children could help us reconnect with our innate femininity.

I loved the simplicity of their enjoyment. There we were in a playground with all sorts of swings, climbing frames, slides, ropes…you name it, this park had it…and yet they had the most fun running around chasing the pigeons! Everything was a game…everything was fun. They didn’t think…they just did…and they enjoyed every second.

It was beautiful to see their collaboration and teamwork…especially between children who had never met before. There was a very small child who wanted to have a turn on the slide, but was too small to get to the top by herself. I watched a collection of children…most of whom had never met before, each stand on a different step on the slide and help the smaller child all the way to the top.

But the simplest way in which they inspired me was that they just asked for what they wanted.

The children had wanted to go and play in the play area…so they came up to me and asked me directly “Will you take us to the play area?”

When they wanted to play on the see saw with a child they hadn’t met before, they asked “Would you like to play on the see saw?” and within minutes they were both bouncing up and down beaming from ear to ear.

…and perhaps the most touching moment was when one child turned to another and simply said “Will you be my friend?”

The answer was instantaneous, “Yes…as long as you don’t follow me around everywhere…!” The honesty was refreshing, and they were soon running around together laughing.

Watching them it occurred to me how much simpler and easier our lives would be if we took a few lessons from them.

How often in life do we complicate things that are actually very simple?

How often do we struggle to do something alone, rather than allowing everyone around to pitch in and help?

How often do we hope that someone will realise and offer what we want rather than just going out there and asking for it?

So today I’d like to invite you to play in your life, as if you were a child…and to see the difference that it can make:

Keep it Simple – Look for the simplest approach…whatever the situation. Ask yourself “Am I overcomplicating things?”, “Am I over thinking this?”, “Is there an easier way?”

Make it Fun – To really embrace our feminine, a key element is playfulness and fun…and there is always a way to make something more fun and enjoyable! Can you listen to music while you do it? Or maybe listen to an audio book? Could you do it in another location, which would change how you felt about it? Can you do it outside? Find out how much fun you can have…

Work Together – Is there someone around who would be able to help you? Could you work with someone on this goal? How much more fun could you make it by doing it with someone else?

Ask for what you Want – As women we’re so good at giving, but not so great at receiving. The first step to being able to receive is knowing what you want…and when you know, the easiest way to get it is to ask for it, plain and simple. It might feel a little strange at first if you’re not used to doing it…but sooner rather than later you’ll see how great it feels to be able to actually ask for what you want, and allow yourself to receive it.

What other lessons could you learn from the children that you know…?

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

What’s the fastest way to find your feminine?

Find your FeminineA question that I get asked all the time is “What is the fastest way for me to reconnect with my feminine?”

Believe me, I know how you feel.

Life these days is incredibly hectic for us women.

We have our jobs and careers to think about, we have our personal lives to juggle, we are thinking about our relationships, our health and fitness, our hobbies, our homes, our finances, our families…the list is never ending.

Our feminine tends to take a back seat

Often in order to cope with the craziness of our day-to-day lives women jump into ‘take control mode’.

Ladies Toilet SignI think that by seeing this sign around us all the time we just assume that all women wear capes and are secretly superheroes!

In going into our ‘superhero mode’ we end up taking on a number of very masculine traits, we become very analytical, driven, single-minded and focused on just ‘getting the job done’.

Finding the balance between our masculine and feminine

As we all know, we have both masculine and feminine energies inside us. Even if we’re primarily a more feminine person at our core, utilising our masculine traits when appropriate is not only helpful…but sometimes it’s necessary to deal with a given situation. It’s all about finding the right balance.

The challenge that we often have is that with all of the pressure and stress that we feel (either as a result of external situations, or more likely that we put on ourselves) we can spend more and more time in the masculine and less and less in the feminine.

This can lead to us feeling drained, unhappy and very unfulfilled.

Therefore it’s incredibly helpful to know how to quickly get back into your feminine in order to relax and feel like yourself again! 🙂

So what’s the answer?

How to find your feminine fast

The answer is that it’s different for everyone…but it’s really easy to find out what it is for you.

The quickest and easiest way to get back to your feminine is to reconnect with who you are at heart….and the quickest way to do that is to ask yourself what it was that you enjoyed doing when you were a child….say at 6 or 7 years old.

What was it at that age which made you absolutely light up from the inside?

What made you smile?

What made you laugh?

What would you do whenever you had a free second of time?

It could be absolutely anything.

For me it was dancing, singing or spending time with animals. Whenever my parents asked me what I wanted to do for the day, if there was an opportunity to feed some animals I was a very happy girl.

When we used to go for London for a day, the outing wasn’t complete without a trip to feed the pigeons in Leicester square.

I did ballet, tap, modern dancing and you couldn’t stop me from singing all over the house.

Any one of these things made me absolutely light up from the inside out.

For other people it’s different. I have one friend who used to pretend she was doing her own radio show with a little tape recorder and another who was happiest when she was swimming. It could be drawing or creating something, reading a book, listening to your favourite music….the list of possibilities is infinite.

…and when you’ve worked out what it is for you…the fastest way back to your feminine is to find a way to do it now.

Feeding the HorsesFor me, I dance salsa, I’ve joined a local ‘funky’ choir and on a regular basis I walk down to a field near my house and feed the horses that live there. If I feel like a dance, but there’s no salsa on that day, I take 10 minutes, blast my favourite tracks in my bedroom and dance like I’m a 5 year old again! 😀

…and the key is to do it until it makes you smile…until you feel that warm fuzzy feeling inside that you had when you were a child.

Voila! Back to your feminine in the blink of an eye…

…and now you know what makes you feel like this, it’s a great idea to arrange to do it on a regular basis. Put a note in your diary as a reminder, make a little time every week and take this time for you.

Because it’s far more enjoyable to find your feminine BEFORE life gets overwhelming, rather than after!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, you might also like to check out this one about “What IS Feminine?”