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Aspects of the Feminine, E - Energy, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

Aspects of the feminine…it’s time to add some energy!

Aspects of the Feminine, E - Energy, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday marks the end of our deep dive into the different aspects of the feminine…we’ve covered Flow, Emotional Connection, Magic, Inspiration, Nurturing, Intuition and natural.

And not only do we get to complete our understanding on the elements of the feminine…

….but we also get to dispel one of the common myths about femininity.

Because there are a lot of misperceptions and misunderstanding about the feminine…things that people believe it is, things that people believe it isn’t…and they cause a lot of confusion when we start to focus on our femininity and how we can connect more to it.

 

What feminine is, and isn’t…

A lot of people when they think of the word feminine call some words and images to mind like weak, submissive, compliant, servitude, domesticity…the list goes on.

The trouble is that none of these words have anything to do with femininity, and don’t represent what the word feminine really means.

Femininity has nothing to do with being ‘less than’…it also doesn’t have anything to do with ‘more than’…we all have both masculine and feminine inside us, and neither is any better or worse, stronger or weaker, more or less powerful than the other.  They are equal, and opposite to each other.

The feminine is supercharged…

So when we talk about femininity, many people believe that we’re talking about passivity…when nothing could be further from the truth.

The final aspect of the feminine that we’re looking at a little deeper today is energy…and the feminine is all about energy.

The feminine has a lot of different types of energy in it…passion, calm, excitement, playfulness..and we experience the full spectrum of emotions and the energy that they bring too.

So today I want to share with you how you can connect in more with the different aspects of energy in your feminine…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So how connect more with the different types of feminine energy?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out how to connect with the different types of feminine energy!

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

So what IS feminine? What does it look like? Can you learn how to be feminine?

feminine

So…the question that everyone keeps asking me…what IS feminine?

What does being feminine look like? Well having established why femininity is important, in order to explain what it is, let’s start with what it isn’t. There are so many misperceptions about what the word feminine actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.  Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.  This summer when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Feminine = Weak?

So let’s start with weakness.  Feminine has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines (cue lots of emails telling me he is an aubergine addict…).  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman is incredibly strong; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.

Does Feminine = Submission?

Another common misperception is that being feminine involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s about being true to yourself, finding your inner strength and self respect and being proud of who you are inside.

Does Feminine = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that being feminine is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance.  The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic.

So what does Feminine look like?

Femininity can take on many forms, because it is unique to the individual woman.  For example, when I’ve asked for examples of feminine women in the public eye, three women who regularly get mentioned are Kate Middleton (the newest member of the royal family), the actress Kate Winslet and Dita Von Teese.  I’m sure you would agree that the appearance and behaviour of each of these women are very different, and yet they are all viewed as feminine women…because each of them are being completely authentic from the inside out.

Now I wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with being pink, girly or fluffy, if that’s who you genuinely are…but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the route to femininity consists of dressing daily in a pink fluffy dress! 🙂

Being feminine is about being who you authentically are inside, plain and simple.

…and as such defining it in specific terms can be a little challenging, as being feminine looks slightly different for each individual woman.

However, there are some core aspects of femininity which are common to all feminine women.  They may appear to a greater or lesser extent from person to person, but they will all appear in some shape or form.

In order to make it nice and easy for us to remember these aspects (in case we decide that we would like to focus on developing any of them), I’ve pulled them together into a simple acronym.  It couldn’t be simpler…it’s about being F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. first.

Flow – Being feminine is all about being open, and letting things flow.  The crucial element of this flow is that it is two-way; it is about giving AND receiving in equal measure.  If you can maintain an openness in your daily life, you will naturally feel more relaxed and feminine.

Emotionally connected – Women are natural relationship builders; we use our ability to connect emotionally with ourselves and others to develop genuine bonds with the people around us.  Our ability to express vulnerability, compassion and kindness are our biggest assets when it comes to connecting at an emotional level.  Emotion is such a crucial aspect of being feminine and as love is the most positive and powerful it is the best place to start, both with yourself and with others.  Love has managed to get itself a bit of a bad rap though…we’ve all heard sayings such as “Love Hurts” and “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.  So when we talk about love it’s not the 21st century kind with all the rules, restrictions and pain associated with it.  We are talking about natural love, the kind that you have for your mother before you even know who she is.  Unconditional love…pure and simple.

Magic – I’m not referring to Harry Potter or David Copperfield here!  This is all about re-capturing the sense of magic from our childhood.  Being playful, childlike and having fun with life!  Most importantly…don’t take yourself too seriously!  Being feminine is about remembering the wonder that life held when you were a child and bringing that joy and ability to appreciate the little things into your everyday life.

Inspiring – Unlike some of our male counterparts, feminine women don’t have any inclination to use force or pressure to affect people around us…our core strength lies in being able to inspire, motivate and positively influence anyone we come into contact with.

Nurturing – Women are at their heart nurturers…but this doesn’t mean that we all need to have children, or spend our afternoons tending flowerbeds!  Our feminine nurturing nature can be applied in any area of life…it is about supporting and helping to inspire growth in both ourselves and those around us.

Intuition – Everyone has heard of female intuition – tales of it are legendary!  But it doesn’t have to take the form of some sort of supernatural ability…intuition can simply be a blend of awareness, knowledge and experience.  At times I’m sure that we’ve all had a gut instinct about something…often that we couldn’t actually explain or rationalise…it could be that we’re connecting with some sort of “higher ability” or it could just be your subconscious is aware of things that your conscious mind hasn’t noticed.  Either way…if it serves you and steers you in the right direction, then it’s got to be a good thing!

Natural – Femininity comes from a place of complete and total authenticity.  As a feminine woman it is about getting back to who you naturally are at your core…embracing and embodying it completely.  Being feminine is owning, honouring and celebrating the real you, from the heart…and sharing it with the world.  It’s not about looking, or acting a certain way or wearing certain things…it’s about being you, through and through, inside and out, and recognising how beautiful that is.  It’s really getting in touch with who you are inside…with your ‘essence’…and allowing that to radiate out.

Energy – Energy is where the spark is added to the mix.  This is where our sense of strength, passion and real power comes from.  A feminine woman is an absolute force of nature.  She doesn’t seek out power, or to prove herself like her male counterparts…and when she’s really in her element there is absolutely no need for either.  She can feel the flow of feminine power coursing through her…and every single person she meets can feel it too.

So there, as promised, is my definition of feminine.  It’s come as a result of researching lots of different sources…as well as from my own personal experience.

…and the question now is – what’s YOUR experience of being feminine?

I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts…

Stay fabulous!

Claire x

Have you ever felt like you’re wearing someone else’s underwear?

Someone else's underwearAs you may know, recently I got back from an incredible trip to the US…and during that trip a lot shifted for me.

I did a lot of work on myself, created some incredible new content, learned a lot and made some very exciting shifts.  In short, while I was gone I changed.  A lot.

When I got back from my trip, having taken some time to readjust to the current time zone and catch up with some of my favourite people I realised that something didn’t feel right.

While I’d been away it felt like I’d changed, transformed, expanded…and coming home to the same space that I’d been in before I left felt….strange.

It felt like someone else’s space, like I didn’t quite fit…or actually more like it didn’t fit me.

Have you ever felt that way?  That you’ve changed so much as a person that the things that felt comfortable before the change…felt uncomfortable afterwards?

I don’t know what your experience was, but for me it felt like wearing someone else’s underwear…

No matter how clean or how good the fit…you know that it isn’t yours!

…and it just doesn’t feel right.

I realised that I had shifted so much while I’d been away, that I actually needed to shift my physical space as well.

So I became a woman on a mission.

With the exception of the furniture I wanted to move everything.

Every single item in my bedroom, every single item in my office.

The two spaces that are most important to me…the one where I relax and recharge…and the one where I create.

I knew it all had to move.

Even if the items then went back into the same space again (which for the most part they didn’t)…I knew I needed to move it.

I needed to shift the energy of the space.

I wanted to shake everything up, move everything about and create a space that felt right for the new me.

So that’s what I did.

Everything came out of the cupboards…everything came off the shelves…everything came out of the drawers…even the items on top of the sides moved.

I sorted, shuffled and stored…anything that I wasn’t going to need on a regular basis got stored away so that it wasn’t taking up space.

As I went through the piles of ‘stuff’ I have accumulated it was clear that a lot of it wasn’t actually needed anymore…and was just taking up room.  So bags of things were packed lovingly to be taken down to my local charity…where it will actually help to do some good.

I ended up with bags of recycling and bags of rubbish…all of which had just been cluttering up my space.

When the job was finished, I felt amazing.  It felt like my space again.  Clear, clean and ready for what I’m going to create next.

Now the reason that I became aware that I wanted to do this was that I’d been out the space for a while and had come back to it having made quite a few significant changes.  So for me, the need to have a clear out was obvious.

But it occurred to me today that we’re all changing all the time…and if those changes happen slowly, over time, then we don’t necessarily notice them as much.

…and as a result we might not notice the need to change our space to fit with the person we’ve become.

So today I want to ask you a question – does your space ‘fit’ with who you are?

…and if it doesn’t, here are 7 steps to the ultimate clear out, to help you to create a space which can become your haven…

7 Steps to the ultimate clear out

  1. Move everything:  Even if it goes back to the place that you move it out of, move it, clean it, clean the space and then put it where you want it to be.
  2. Be ruthless: When you go through putting things back, decide what you really need, and what you really want to keep and get rid of the rest.  Give it to charity, recycle it, if there’s not other choice then throw it away…but clear what you no longer need out of your space…it will create room for new things that are in line with the new you!
  3. Look with new eyes: The chances are that you put everything where it was for a reason…but that was probably a long time ago!  When you put something back think about it.  Is that the best place for it?  How do you use it?  Where could be better?  Create the space that works for you as you are now.
  4. Allow yourself time: It’s so easy to get into the ‘this all has to be done NOW’ mentality…but to really do this properly allow yourself the time to go through it thoroughly.  It’s taken me well over a week to complete this process and if I’d done it in a day it wouldn’t feel like I’d done it justice!
  5. Clear out mentally: Clear your head out as well as your space…if you’ve been carrying around a big to-do list or just ideas of things you’d like to do for a long time…now is the time to get a big notepad and pen and download it all to save your head from having to do all the hard work!
  6. Clear out virtually: Cluttered space can happen as much in our virtual world as it can in our physical one…so take the time to also have a virtual clear out…look at emails, files, internet favourites…whatever it is that by clearing, organising and clearing will make you feel more grounded, relaxed and centred.
  7. Add for effect: Are there new things you would like to put into the space?  Something that resonates with you, or just makes you feel good?  A favourite for me is a plant…something living and green to make the place feel like is has a bit of nature in it.

There really is nothing like feeling that a space is ‘yours’, like you belong, like you feel at home.

Like slipping into a favourite set of your own sexy undies…it just makes you feel great.

So this week I invite you to clear out your space…and to create the space that fits with YOU.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

How do you tell if you’re more feminine or masculine at your core?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo we know that we all have both masculine and feminine traits inside us…but all the time people are asking me “Claire, how do I tell whether I’m more masculine or feminine at my core?”

There are a lot of different ways that you can tell which of the two energies is more natural for you…but there is one very simple, quick and easy way that in my experience works for everyone…and today I want to share it with you.

Now, I’m putting a disclaimer on this video…If you’re easily offended, or uncomfortable with the topic of sex then I want you to be aware that this video might stretch you out of your comfort zone a bit.  I also wouldn’t recommend watching it at your desk at work (or if you do, I’d invest in a pair of headphones!)…it might raise a few eyebrows while people are working on their morning coffee!

So enough chat…watch the video to see how you can find out what energy you are at your core:

The one thing to remember in this is that it only tells you which of the energies is the most natural for you – the one you tend towards at your core.  As we know, we all have both energies inside us and this doesn’t tell you what the balance of the two is.  So when you’re aware of which energy is most natural for you, it’s then fun to have a play with the different energies and traits to see what balance also feels right.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and also any questions that you might have about understanding whether you are more masculine or feminine at your core,  so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Wishing you an amazing week,

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you remember to use your masculine…?

yin-yangMost of my focus in the past newsletters and blog posts have been focused on femininity and how to connect with and get into your feminine, so today I want to look at the other side of our energy.

As we know, we all have both masculine and feminine energy inside us, and in order to feel and be at our best, we need to find the balance between the two energies that is right for us…after all, each of us is unique, and so is our energy!

While it’s very important to spend the majority of our time in the energy which is most natural for us (for most women it’s feminine, and most men it’s masculine…but there are some cases where it’s the other way around) it is also important to know how and when to move into the opposite energy.

Certain situations will come up in life where it is better (for you or those around you) for you to utilise the other traits that you have inside you.

Last weekend I was crewing an event here in London (UPW) with Tony Robbins and I had an experience that demonstrated this perfectly.

UPW is a very intense event. We do a firewalk, it is highly emotional and many people come out of it having completely transformed some aspect of themselves or their lives.

On the third day of the event there is an experience for the participants that is very emotionally intense. During this experience, it is important for all of the crew to be in the room to support the participants, which means that we observe everything that’s going on.

Without giving too much away about it (because if you haven’t been to UPW, then I highly recommend going and I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise!) the experience involves the participants moving through negative and positive emotions in order to transform an area of their lives that they want to change.

During this time, the energy in the room is incredibly intense.

Having crewed this event before, I knew what to expect, and I was prepared for it, but there were a large number of crew members who were experiencing this for the first time.

I knew that during this experience I was going to need to stay very focused on the participants. It was my responsibility as a member of the crew to be there for them and support them.

I also realised that I needed to keep some focus on the members of the crew who had not been there before and who were experiencing this for the first time.

I needed to keep focused on the outcome of the experience…I know the amazing result of doing the process…so that was something that I chose to keep front of mind.

I had to be very assertive where necessary as there were situations which needed dealing with swiftly and simply for the benefit of everyone in the room.

I was highly motivated to get everyone in the room through the experience in a way that served them and their purpose.

My focus was absolutely unwavering…it was 100% where it needed to be in order to support the participants and my fellow crew members.

During this experience, the crew members buddy up…and it was my buddy’s first time crewing and therefore observing this exercise. I realised that I was very protective of my crew ‘buddy’ for the experience…and at times when she appeared to be struggling with it I stood beside her and gave her advice.

For the period of this experience, I switched from my usual ‘emotionally open’ position, to a more logical one…focusing on the outcome that we were working towards, and less on the emotional experience of the journey.

The experience went beautifully.

During it I helped a number of participants by getting them to speak to the right people, and helped my buddy when she found it tough.

A short time later, during a conversation with a friend, I realised that in order to deal with the exercise in the best way possible for both myself and the people around me, I had stepped (for that short period of time) into my masculine energy. I was using a lot of the masculine traits I had talked about in my recent post: http://feminine1st.com/what-is-masculinity/.

When the experience had finished, and the masculine energy was no longer required…I was right back in my feminine, welling up while watching the pure joy and delight on the faces of the participants and my fellow crew.

I’m so used to making the move to the masculine for short periods of time when the situation requires it, that I don’t tend to do it ‘consciously’ any more…I just move when it feels right to do so…and then back when the situation has come to an end.

But I realised that it is important to acknowledge that there are times when it’s not just preferable, it’s necessary to use your masculine energy.

…and it’s equally important to identify the time when it’s no longer required and can move back into the feminine again.

So what are the situations where you think that the masculine energy might serve you best for a short period of time?

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

The $64,000 Question…What IS Femininity?

female symbol

So…the question that everyone keeps asking me…what IS femininity?

Well having established why femininity is important, in order to explain what it is, let’s start with what it isn’t, there are so many misperceptions about what the word femininity actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.  Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.  This summer when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Femininity = Weakness?

So let’s start with weakness.  Femininity has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines (cue lots of emails telling me he is an aubergine addict…).  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman is incredibly strong; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.

Does Femininity = Submissive?

Another common misperception is that it involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s about being true to yourself, finding your inner strength and self respect and being proud of who you are inside.

Does Femininity = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that femininity is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance.  The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic.

So what does Femininity equate to?

Femininity can take on many forms, because it is unique to the individual woman.  For example, when I’ve asked for examples of feminine women in the public eye, three women who regularly get mentioned are Kate Middleton (the newest member of the royal family), the actress Kate Winslet and Dita Von Teese.  I’m sure you would agree that the appearance and behaviour of each of these women are very different, and yet they are all viewed as feminine women…because each of them are being completely authentic from the inside out.

Now I wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with being pink, girly or fluffy, if that’s who you genuinely are…but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the route to femininity consists of dressing daily in a pink fluffy dress! 🙂

Femininity is about being who you authentically are inside, plain and simple.

…and as such defining it in specific terms can be a little challenging, as femininity is slightly different for each individual woman.

However, there are some core aspects of femininity which are common to all feminine women.  They may appear to a greater or lesser extent from person to person, but they will all appear in some shape or form.

In order to make it nice and easy for us to remember these aspects (in case we decide that we would like to focus on developing any of them), I’ve pulled them together into a simple acronym.  It couldn’t be simpler…it’s about being F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. first.

Flow – Femininity is all about being open, and letting things flow.  The crucial element of this flow is that it is two-way; it is about giving AND receiving in equal measure.  If you can maintain an openness in your daily life, you will naturally feel more relaxed and feminine.

Emotionally connected – Women are natural relationship builders; we use our ability to connect emotionally with ourselves and others to develop genuine bonds with the people around us.  Our ability to express vulnerability, compassion and kindness are our biggest assets when it comes to connecting at an emotional level.  Emotion is such a crucial aspect of femininity and as love is the most positive and powerful it is the best place to start, both with yourself and with others.  Love has managed to get itself a bit of a bad rap though…we’ve all heard sayings such as “Love Hurts” and “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.  So when we talk about love it’s not the 21st century kind with all the rules, restrictions and pain associated with it.  We are talking about natural love, the kind that you have for your mother before you even know who she is.  Unconditional love…pure and simple.

Magic – I’m not referring to Harry Potter or David Copperfield here!  This is all about re-capturing the sense of magic from our childhood.  Being playful, childlike and having fun with life!  Most importantly…don’t take yourself too seriously!  Remembering the wonder that life held when you were a child and bringing that joy and ability to appreciate the little things into your everyday life.

Inspiring – Unlike some of our male counterparts, feminine women don’t have any inclination to use force or pressure to affect people around us…our core strength lies in being able to inspire, motivate and positively influence anyone we come into contact with.

Nurturing – Women are at their heart nurturers…but this doesn’t mean that we all need to have children, or spend our afternoons tending flowerbeds!  Our nurturing nature can be applied in any area of life…it is about supporting and helping to inspire growth in both ourselves and those around us.

Intuition – Everyone has heard of female intuition – tales of it are legendary!  But it doesn’t have to take the form of some sort of supernatural ability…intuition can simply be a blend of awareness, knowledge and experience.  At times I’m sure that we’ve all had a gut instinct about something…often that we couldn’t actually explain or rationalise…it could be that we’re connecting with some sort of “higher ability” or it could just be your subconscious is aware of things that your conscious mind hasn’t noticed.  Either way…if it serves you and steers you in the right direction, then it’s got to be a good thing!

Natural – Femininity comes from a place of complete and total authenticity.  As a feminine woman it is about getting back to who you naturally are at your core…embracing and embodying it completely.  Being feminine is owning, honouring and celebrating the real you, from the heart…and sharing it with the world.  It’s not about looking, or acting a certain way or wearing certain things…it’s about being you, through and through, inside and out, and recognising how beautiful that is.  It’s really getting in touch with who you are inside…with your ‘essence’…and allowing that to radiate out.

Energy – Energy is where the spark is added to the mix.  This is where our sense of strength, passion and real power comes from.  A feminine woman is an absolute force of nature.  She doesn’t seek out power, or to prove herself like her male counterparts…and when she’s really in her element there is absolutely no need for either.  She can feel the flow of feminine power coursing through her…and every single person she meets can feel it too.

So there, as promised, is my definition of femininity.  It’s come as a result of researching lots of different sources…as well as from my own personal experience.

…and the question now is – what’s YOUR experience of femininity?

I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts…

Stay fabulous!

Claire x