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This week's Thursday Thought Quote: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful

This Week’s Thursday Thought: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful

This week’s Thursday Thought:

Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful

This week's Thursday Thought Quote: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful

Aspects of the Feminine, E - Energy, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

Aspects of the feminine…it’s time to add some energy!

Aspects of the Feminine, E - Energy, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday marks the end of our deep dive into the different aspects of the feminine…we’ve covered Flow, Emotional Connection, Magic, Inspiration, Nurturing, Intuition and natural.

And not only do we get to complete our understanding on the elements of the feminine…

….but we also get to dispel one of the common myths about femininity.

Because there are a lot of misperceptions and misunderstanding about the feminine…things that people believe it is, things that people believe it isn’t…and they cause a lot of confusion when we start to focus on our femininity and how we can connect more to it.

 

What feminine is, and isn’t…

A lot of people when they think of the word feminine call some words and images to mind like weak, submissive, compliant, servitude, domesticity…the list goes on.

The trouble is that none of these words have anything to do with femininity, and don’t represent what the word feminine really means.

Femininity has nothing to do with being ‘less than’…it also doesn’t have anything to do with ‘more than’…we all have both masculine and feminine inside us, and neither is any better or worse, stronger or weaker, more or less powerful than the other.  They are equal, and opposite to each other.

The feminine is supercharged…

So when we talk about femininity, many people believe that we’re talking about passivity…when nothing could be further from the truth.

The final aspect of the feminine that we’re looking at a little deeper today is energy…and the feminine is all about energy.

The feminine has a lot of different types of energy in it…passion, calm, excitement, playfulness..and we experience the full spectrum of emotions and the energy that they bring too.

So today I want to share with you how you can connect in more with the different aspects of energy in your feminine…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So how connect more with the different types of feminine energy?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out how to connect with the different types of feminine energy!

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

grateful

Are you grateful when things don’t work out the way you planned or expected?

gratefulSo it’s the time of year when our American friends take some time to sit back, reflect on their lives and notice what they’re grateful for (and consume copious amounts of turkey and indulgent food as well!)

As you may have seen from previous articles, I love the idea of thanksgiving…a day every year to just stop and focus on what you’re thankful for. For me, I try and keep an attitude of gratitude the whole year through, but I think it’s still nice to have a reminder from time to time.

Now the thing with gratitude is, it’s easy to do when everything’s fine and dandy…but what about when things don’t appear to be going so well?

When things haven’t turned out the way you expected, or planned for, how do you respond? Do you smile and find something to be grateful for, or do you have a little strop / sulk instead?

Am I saying you should always be grateful, no matter what?

Now, this has the potential to be one of those annoying articles that suggests that when everything appears to be crumbling around you all that is required is a deep breath and a Zen attitude and it will instantly make everything perfect.

…but it’s not.

Because in reality we all have moments where we want to stomp our feet and throw our toys out of the pram because everything seems to have ‘gone wrong’…and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Goodness knows I have my moments!

But the one thing that I have learned on my incredibly interesting journey, is that the times when things appeared to be going ‘wrong’…they were actually working out FOR me…I just couldn’t see it yet.

Just a few examples of the times when it appeared that things were on a downward spiral, but in fact were just a little loop-the-loop on this rollercoaster called life:

  • The numerous heartbreaks along the way – without them, I wouldn’t be where I am, doing what I now do, and I love my work more than anything I’ve ever done before.
  • The time I was hospitalised after being trampled at a big event in London…the compensation for my injuries were to go to an event that quite literally changed my life.
  • The time when my Mum appeared to have a very annoying medical condition…which actually led us to learn about a much more serious condition that was then caught and dealt with before it ever became a real problem.

If we stay so rigid to our perception of how we think life “should” turn out…we actually cut off a whole range of possibilities and opportunities that would make life so much easier, better and more enjoyable!

When we’re able to see the big picture, it can totally change our perspective on what’s happening,…and it sometimes takes some time for the big picture to become clear.

Can you be grateful in the face of major challenges?

A great example of this is earlier this year when my Mum faced some major medical challenges.

We were waiting for the results of some tests that she had been given and there were three possible outcomes. Option 1 was that she was going to need major surgery by one surgeon, option 2 was that she was going to require major surgery by a different surgeon and option 3 was that there was another outcome that we weren’t yet aware of.

The difference between options 1 and 2 were that surgery with surgeon 1 meant that her ‘risk factor’ of it being something much more serious was significantly lower than it would be if she needed to be seen by surgeon 2.

I remember sitting with her in the specialist’s office as he delivered the results.

She was going to need major surgery.

…with surgeon number 1.

I watched her breathe a sign of relief as a smile spread across her face, and we both broke into relieved laughter.

When she called my Dad to tell him the news, he was stunned. “I’ve never heard anyone sound so relieved that they’ve got to have major surgery!”, he said.

That’s what made me realise that it was our ability to see the big picture that enabled us to be grateful for something that for most people would have seemed like a big concern.

Having to have major surgery seems like a pretty big bump in the road…unless you know that the alternative route involves jumping your car across a ravine!

How can you be grateful when things are going ‘wrong’?

We were all so grateful for Mum’s surgery, as it almost certainly saved her life.

It was yet another example for me of how in life you get three things:

  • What you want
  • What you need
  • Or something better…

Did Mum want surgery? Not particularly…I don’t know many people who actively want to go under the knife.

Did she need surgery? Yes…and within a few weeks of us first becoming aware of the problem, she was on the road to recovery.

Did it stop us from being scared and worried while we were going through the process? Not at all…

But it did remind me yet again to trust that life is working out exactly the way it’s supposed to. Even if I can’t see it yet, I know that there will be something to be grateful for.

Now I’m not saying don’t be afraid, don’t be frustrated, don’t be angry, don’t be sad when these road bumps (both minor and major) come along. You’re entitled to feel that way.

What I’m encouraging you to do is to keep at the back of your mind that there will be something to be grateful for, even if you can’t yet see it.

…and the earlier you can move from feeling whatever comes up first, to feeling grateful for what you’re experiencing, the easier and more enjoyable life becomes for you.

So this week I encourage you to look for the gratitude in those situations you’ve experienced in the past that felt like ‘problems’ at the time….because when you can see them looking back, it makes you easier to trust in the fact that they will be there in the future too.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

P.S. As I’ve said several times in the past, vulnerability is one of the keys to opening up your femininity…so I’m now going to be really vulnerable. Not long after finishing this article, I had a little bump in the road come up. I was sat there in tears talking to my partner trying to figure out what to do when suddenly it hit me. This was exactly what I’d just finished writing about. “Oh s@&t!, this is exactly what I’ve just been writing about”, I said as I put my head in my hands. In that moment I got to feel really miffed that I was living what I’d literally just finished writing about…then I smiled…and then I got to realise that the gratitude is on it’s way. It doesn’t stop me being upset or frustrated with the situation…but it does allow me to breathe easy and let go of worrying about it knowing it’ll all come good in the end. It’s not always easy…but it is worth it, I promise x

FFF Ben Macnaughton

Today’s Fabulous Friday Fellow is Ben Macnaughton

FFF Ben MacnaughtonI’ve often wondered how military families do it.

How do they live with the constant distance between them and the fear that any day they may receive bad news?

I don’t know if I would be strong enough to do it…it was bad enough having friends serving in war zones, let alone a member of your family.

So when I heard today’s story it touched my heart in a way I can’t possibly describe.

10 year old Ben Macnaughton’s dad, a Squadron Leader in the RAF has visited a war zone every year of Ben’s life and is currently serving as the Brigade Air Liaison Officer, with 12 Mechanised Brigade, Bulford, Wiltshire.

Since 2003 Ben has lived in the shadow of war and has spent approximately 50% of his life separated from his father due to his father’s military commitment. Sqn Ldr Macnaughton throughout Ben’s life has deployed continuously to Iraq and Afghanistan as well as other war zones

So how has Ben dealt with this?

Unbeknownst to his parents, he wrote a song in his music lessons with 80s music producer, Anthony Clark called Messed Up World asking the world to give peace a chance.

Believe me when I say it’s a song that pulls on the old heartstrings…

When asked why he wrote the lyrics to the song, he said. “I want the fighting to stop so that children don’t need to be away from their parents anymore. I don’t think children should be away from their parents.”

“Did you write it because daddy goes away so much?”

“Yes.” He said.

Ben has never been to stage school so it’s very homemade and he is keeping it real. However, he has lived his whole life in the shadow of war so he wanted to raise money for other children in the same position as him.  So the song has been released in aid of SSAFA

SSAFA provides lifelong support for our forces and their families. It is a charity that does whatever it takes to get things done. They provide practical support and assistance to servicemen and women, veterans, and the families of both, every single day of the year.

You just need to read the lyrics to understand why this 10 year old wants peace:
“It’s a messed up world
But I won’t let it get me down
As long as I can hold my ground
I will be safe and sound

Fighting everywhere
There is no more peace in the air
Bodies lying everywhere
I am really scared
Everything is grey and black
Smoke is coming out of my hat
A glimpse of light comes from the sky
And everything is once again fine
People are alive and singing

The world can be so lovely yes it can
We should all be happy and never sad
If we could stop the fighting and end the war
We could all be happy for ever more
Forever more”

So if you would like to support Ben on his mission to spread the word of peace and support the SSAFA in the process then you can purchase the song here: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/messed-up-world-single/id766580199

I hope his message spreads far and wide this Christmas…

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As you know, I would love to acknowledge, honour and celebrate the women and men who have inspired you as well.

So if there is someone that you believe should feature as a Fabulous Friday Female (or Fellow!), then send me an email (claire@feminine1st.com) with 3 simple details:

  • Who is your Fabulous Friday Female / Fellow? (Her / his name and location in the world)
  • Why is she / he a Fabulous Friday Female / Fellow to YOU? (How do you know her / him? What does she / he do? In what way is she / he inspiring?)
  • A photo or link to a picture of her / him online (if there is a reason that you would prefer not to include a photo, just let me know)

So help me to share with all of our lovely ladies the real women and men who inspire YOU.

…and remember, as always, to Stay Fabulous too!

Claire x

Gratitude turns what we have into enough

This Week’s Thursday Thought: Gratitude makes what we have Enough

This week’s Thursday Thought:

Gratitude makes what we have Enough

Gratitude turns what we have into enough

Aspects of the Feminine, N - Natural, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

Aspects of the feminine…it’s all natural

Aspects of the Feminine, N - Natural, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stWe’re now nearing the end of our deep dive into the different aspects of the feminine, as this week is our penultimate aspect.

We’ve already looked at Flow, Emotional Connection, Magic, Inspiration, Nurturing and Intuition…and today we focus on one of the most important aspects.

This is what I would describe as the foundational element of the feminine.

All of the other aspects and traits that we’ve talked about need to originate here otherwise they won’t have the desired effect.

 

To find your feminine you need to be real…

This week we’re looking at the second N in FEMININE, which is all about being natural.

What do we mean by being natural?

Being natural is all about being real, being authentic, being true to yourself.

…and as I said, this is the foundational element of the feminine…all of the other aspects need to come from an authentic, real and natural place otherwise they won’t be effective.

There’s nothing worse than fake feminine…

We’ve spoken about masculine masks in the past, and ‘fake feminine’ or putting a feminine mask on can be just as problematic.

When we take on the feminine aspects, without them being real, it just becomes more of a burden.

It becomes easy and enjoyable when it’s authentic, coming from the inside out…but when it just becomes masks on top of masks it can feel draining and cause us more harm than good.

So today I want to share with you not only how to be more natural with your femininity and tap into your intuition, but also an incredibly important learning that I had around intuition that could change how you view it completely…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So how can you be feminine in a more natural way?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out how to connect with your feminine in a more natural way!

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Difference between feeling emotions and wallowing in them

What’s the difference between feeling your emotions and wallowing in them?

Difference between feeling emotions and wallowing in themWe all have times when we experience ‘negative’ emotions.

The thing with emotions is that they all serve a purpose…they are there for a reason. All emotions…the good, the bad and the sometimes very ugly.

That’s the reason I put the word ‘negative’ in inverted commas…because we only perceive them as negative…they actually serve a positive purpose when we allow them to.

In our culture these days, when we experience ‘negative’ emotions we have a tendency to want to distract ourselves from experiencing them. We want to avoid, ignore or bury them…or simply pretend that they don’t exist.

We’ve a plethora of ways to distract ourselves from our emotions…eating, shopping, drinking, drugs, losing ourselves in TV or movies, or burying ourselves in work.

But as I’ve talked about in several articles, these emotions exist for a reason…in order for them to serve their purpose we need to experience them.

They are there to help us to process our experiences, to move through them, learn from them, grow from them…and if we don’t acknowledge and experience these emotions they tend to hang around.

They bubble under the surface and when we least expect it (and often when it is least convenient) they pop up and bite us in the butt.

So in order to release these emotions, we need to first experience them, we need to feel the emotions fully in order to let them go.

But a question I’ve heard many times when this subject comes up is “How do I tell the difference between feeling the emotions to process them and let them go, and wallowing in them?”

This is such a fantastic question…and one that is so valuable to know the answer to that I wanted to write today’s article to share this vital insight with you.

We’ve all wallowed at times.

Those times when we’ve experienced something that has brought up a ‘negative’ emotion…it could be sadness, pain, hurt, anger, shame, grief, rejection – any ‘negative’ emotion.

BUT we don’t want to move through it, we don’t want to release it we WANT to be in it.

We want to just be in the negative emotion, we don’t want to move, we just want to sit there.

Doing nothing, changing nothing, just being in it.

But why?

Why would we want to voluntarily stay in an emotion that doesn’t feel good?

The reason is that in the short term, we can actually seem to gain a lot by being in it….though we may not be consciously aware of it.

When we’re in a ‘bad’ space, there can be ‘benefits’ to it.

In an increasingly numb culture, this is a moment where we’re really feeling something, we feel connected to ourselves and to our emotions in a way that most of us don’t in our day-to-day lives.

We get sympathy from and connection to other people…when we’re not feeling great we often get friends, family or colleagues reaching out to us to give us support. They want to be there for you, comfort you, help you to feel better – often in a way that we don’t experience when we’re not in this kind of space.

This kind of attention makes us feel important, makes us feel special, makes us feel significant…in a way that we might not be used to feeling the rest of the time.

We might use feeling this way as an excuse for not doing things that we’d prefer to avoid…for having some downtime, taking a break, and allowing yourself to breathe a bit and have some time for you. In our hamster-wheel-like lives, we don’t allow ourselves to do this often enough…and so having a reason to do it can feel quite good.

…or we can use it as an excuse for doing the things that we don’t believe we ‘should’ do, but a part of us would really like to. We use feeling bad as a reason for maxing out our credit cards, finishing off an entire chocolate cake, or downing a bottle of wine.

So while we might not be consciously aware of the benefits of being in our ‘negative’ emotions…subconsciously we can bet getting a lot out of it, so we can begin to indulge in it, to subconsciously choose to stay in it, to wallow.

So what’s the problem with wallowing in our ‘negative’ emotions?

If we’re getting so many benefits from being in our ‘negative’ emotions, then what’s the problem?

Well the simple answer is that it’s a short-term gain, which costs us in the long term.

You see processing the emotions, feeling them fully in order to release them gives a short term pain (of feeling fully the emotions that are there) …but which enables us to get a huge long-term benefit…i.e. that we get to completely release these emotions, learn from them, grow from them and move on without taking the baggage of the past with us.

On the other hand, wallowing gives us a short-term gain (the benefits of us being in our negative emotion), but because we’re not feeling the emotions to release them, we’re indulging in them to get these benefits, we never actually get the REAL benefit of being able to let them go and move on to create a life free of this baggage. Instead we end up carrying it all with us all the time, which in the long-term is draining and very unfulfilling.

So how can you tell the difference between processing emotions and wallowing? The point at which you feel that you’re getting more from being in your ‘negative’ emotion than from processing and releasing it is the point at which you’re wallowing. When being in pain is subconsciously ‘worth it’ because of the benefits we get from being there.

The danger with wallowing is that so often that we’re unaware of the fact that we’re doing it. The choice is happening at a subconscious level…not a conscious one.

So how can we avoid the pitfall of wallowing in emotions?

The only way to avoid the pitfall of wallowing is to use awareness and choice.

Becoming aware of whether you are processing or indulging in your ‘negative’ emotions is the first step towards shifting it.

So simply asking yourself the question “Am I feeling this emotion to process and release it, or to indulge in it?” and answering it honestly puts you in a position of choice.

When you’re aware of where you’re at, you can then choose whether or not to stay there…asking yourself “Do I want the short term benefit, or the long term gain?” can be an important question when you want to make a powerful choice of what you want for yourself.

And do you want to know what’s really great about choosing to process your emotions and release them rather than wallow in them?

You actually still get the short-term benefits when you’re in it, feeling the emotions in order to then release them…but they’re not enough to keep you there, you know you want more for yourself…

…SO you also get the long-term benefit of being able to put down the baggage you’ve been carrying with you and move on to create a lighter and more fulfilling life as well!

So it’s win-win!

So the next time you find yourself feeling something you’d rather not be feeling, ask yourself the question, “Am I processing this, or am I wallowing in it?” and see which choice you’d really like to make.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Today’s Fabulous Friday Female is Sarah Nelson

Today's Fabulous Friday Female is Sarah NelsonIf you’ve been with us at Feminine 1st for a while now, you’ll know that I have a couple of weaknesses…

One of these weaknesses is cupcakes and another of them is random acts of kindness…

So when I saw a video that combined both of these, it made my day.

Sarah Nelson is an incredible little girl. She’s only 10 years old and has already started her own business to build up her college fund.

This in it’s own right is pretty impressive…But that’s only half the story.

Because Sarah has decided to share her profits with a good cause…and it helping to transform the lives of people less fortunate as a result…

So please take a few minutes to watch this story that will touch your heart (you may need a tissue or two)…

Sarah Nelson is an incredible girl who I have no doubt will hit her next target with ease and transform many peoples’ lives in the process.

I hope her story inspires you and many others to share their own random acts of kindness…

…and if you’d like to support Sarah in her mission to help others, you can connect with her via her website here or on Facebook here.

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As you know, I would love to acknowledge, honour and celebrate the women and men who have inspired you as well.

So if there is someone that you believe should feature as a Fabulous Friday Female (or Fellow!), then send me an email (claire@feminine1st.com) with 3 simple details:

  • Who is your Fabulous Friday Female / Fellow? (Her / his name and location in the world)
  • Why is she / he a Fabulous Friday Female / Fellow to YOU? (How do you know her / him? What does she / he do? In what way is she / he inspiring?)
  • A photo or link to a picture of her / him online (if there is a reason that you would prefer not to include a photo, just let me know)

So help me to share with all of our lovely ladies the real women and men who inspire YOU.

…and remember, as always, to Stay Fabulous too!

Claire x

A woman wants a man who will help her feel important even when she can't be the priority

This Week’s Thursday Thought: A woman wants a man who will help her feel important even when she can’t be the priority

This week’s Thursday Thought:

A woman wants a man who will help her feel important even when she can’t be the priority

A woman wants a man who will help her feel important even when she can't be the priority

FEMININE - I - INTUITION - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

Aspects of the feminine…Do you use your intuition?

FEMININE - I - INTUITION - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo on our journey into the different aspects of the Feminine so far we’ve covered Flow, Emotional Connection, Magic, Inspiration and Nurturing.

Today we get to look at one of the aspects of the feminine that can cause the most confusion, and be the most challenging to understand and embody.

…but it’s also one of the most powerful aspects of the feminine, and the one that can make the biggest difference to your life when you begin to tap into it.

Today we’re looking at the aspect of intuition.

We’ve all heard of female intuition…

Female intuition is a long debated phenomenon, and one that has been the source of much discussion and even some mockery at times.

We’ve all experienced it at times…

..that little feeling that something is (or isn’t) quite right…

…the small voice inside that is whispering in your ear…

…a sense that is nudging you in a certain direction.

So what is female intuition?

There are a lot of different ideas about female intuition and what it is.

Some believe it’s a supernatural ability that women possess.

Some believe it’s the combination of awareness and experience that is processed so quickly our conscious minds aren’t aware of it.

Some believe it’s due to women’s ability to read emotions through facial expression and body language.

But whatever it is, it’s powerful, and it has the ability to transform your life.

So today I want to share with you not only how to tap into your intuition, but also an incredibly important learning that I had around intuition that could change how you view it completely…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So how can you tap into your feminine intuition?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out how to tap into your intuition!

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x