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Would you like to learn more about the aspects of the feminine? We’re starting with flow…

Would you like to learn more about the aspects of the feminine? We're starting with flow… - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI’m really excited this week, because this week we’re starting to deep dive into the feminine and what it means for you.

So far we’ve looked at the different aspects of the feminine from a birds-eye view, and today we’re starting to get up close and personal.

Your unique feminine

As you know, your femininity is as unique as you are…and so in order for you to work out what your unique flavour of feminine feels like, it’s important to play with and experience the different aspects of the feminine in order to understand what your unique expression of them is.

Getting to know the aspects of the feminine better

So over the next few weeks we will be looking at each of the aspects of the feminine that I’ve shared in this and various other articles and digging down under the surface to learn more about them.

Because although our flavour of feminine is unique to us as individuals, there are 8 common aspects that every feminine woman has inside her.

I’ll also be giving you suggestions, ideas and exercises as the weeks go on for you to play with and try out in order to get to know these aspects of the feminine better and to discover what they mean to you.

So today we’re beginning with the F from F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. and starting off with flow…one of the most important aspects to embody, and one that so many struggle with a lot…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

 

So how can you begin to embody the aspect of flow into your life?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out how to embody the feminine aspect of flow in your life

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Do you know when to follow your intuition and tell your head to butt out?

Do you know when to follow your intuition and tell your head to butt out? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI’m sure that, like me, you’re a pretty smart cookie most of the time.

I love my brain.  It’s a helpful way to fill the space between my ears, comes in handy when I’m puzzling over a sudoku and is my secret weapon to place when it comes to organisation.

It’s also a pain in the @ss at times.

I know it’s only trying to help, but boy can it get in the way.

Let’s think about this.

Let’s over analyse that.

Let’s consider the other.

Quite frankly there are times that I’m over it.

At these times I mentally dictate a memo along the following lines:

Dear Brain,

Thanks for sharing.

Now go sit in the corner and have a cup of tea while I let intuition take the reigns.

Love,

Claire x

Does intuition get the reigns often enough in your house?

Last week I had a perfect example of this.

I had a friend who I’d known for about, um, four and a half days (I’m sure the half is important to the story) who sent me a message saying that she was going with another couple of friends for a day trip down to Stonehenge and Glastonbury.  They were going to hire a car to go down, and asked if (1) I wanted to come and (2) if I wanted to drive.

I went with my intuition in the moment and said yes.

Does your initial intuition get overruled by your head?

So I said yes.

Then I began to do my research.

That’s when my brain started knocking at the door and saying “Are you sure you don’t want my input?”

Well OK then brain, let me know what you think.

I start to realise that the journey is probably going to be between 7 and 8 hours of driving, which is probably double what I would want to do in a single day.

We will need to leave very early, and do the M25 in rush hour, and because we needed to be back by 6pm as our friends had dinner plans, we would be doing rush hour in the other direction too.

…and for all this we would probably have about 3 hours at Glastonbury.

Oh, and did I mention that the day beforehand we had heavy snow?

Commitment already made, analysis goes into overdrive.

After a short while of stressing about the various different challenges in this plan (and after a little assistance from a special someone), I remembered that my intuition had told me to go.

It was my head that was arguing with it.

Based on prior experience, which was the more reliable source?

I’ll give you two guesses…it’s not the one that starts with ‘h’ and ends in ‘ead’.

So I decided to breathe, trust that it was all going to work out as it was supposed to, and just enjoy the day.

I chose to go with the flow, to be in flow, to let my feminine intuition guide me and put the masculine logic to bed.

…and this is what happened, shared from the top of a very windy tor! (apologies for the dips in sound)…

So will you go with the flow and follow your intuition?

I had such an amazing day, and even the moments that I could have got frustrated by I found a way to enjoy.

When we were sitting for hours in traffic we got even more time to chat and connect as a group, and when everyone had a nap on the way home I got to have some time with my thoughts to reflect on the day.

If I’d listened to my head I’d have missed out on a beautiful day that left me feeling really filled up, very happy and was just what my inner woman needed.

So I invite you to follow your intuition and learn when to send your brain a memo saying “Thanks for sharing, now go and have a cup of tea in the corner, and let intuition handle this one!”

I can’t wait to speak to you again soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Do you allow yourself to receive?

Do you allow yourself to receive?Let’s face it, most of us like to think that we can do it all ourselves.We’ve spent most of our adult lives trying to prove ourselves, show that we can manage, we can cope, that we can do everything that’s expected of us.

But between building a successful career, being the model daughter / sister / mother, keeping ourselves fit and healthy, managing our finances, indulging our hobbies, creating a home that is warm and inviting and making sure that everything is buffed, trimmed, waxed and styled to perfection…it can be more than a little overwhelming at times.

The reality is that it’s not possible to do it all, and to do it all perfectly…especially when we try and do it on our own.

Part of the challenge we have is as feminine women our natural tendency is to focus on our relationships, on our communities, on other people’s wellbeing…way before we focus on our own.  We forget the need to receive, because we’re so focused on wanting to give.

We want everyone to be happy.

We all want to give…but who’s going to receive?

Our inclination towards giving is not really helped by the abundance of sayings that tell us how wonderful giving is…

  • It is better to give than to receive.
  • The degree of loving is measured by the degree of giving. – Edwin Louis Cole
  • We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give – Winston Churchill
  • Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give ― Ben Carson
In fact, if you do a Google search on “giving” you get over 350 million more results than you do for a search on “receiving”.Now I’m not for a second suggesting that we shouldn’t be giving…in fact I’m a big fan of it.

But we do need to make sure that we learn how to receive too.

Receiving is fundamental to connecting with our femininity…we’re naturally designed to receive, and when we deny ourselves the ability to receive, we deny a key aspect of our femininity.

An exercise I often get women who work with me to do can help to remind you how important it is to take in as well as give out.  Now if you have any heart, breathing or medical concerns at all then don’t do this…just read along (you’ll get the point)…but if you have no medical concerns then I invite you to give this a go.

Take a deep breath in.

Now breathe it all out…every single part of it.

…now don’t breathe in yet…first breathe out again.

…and again

…and again

…and again

….and again

…and again.

Now, by this time one of a few things has usually happened.  You’re probably laughing or smiling, you may be feeling a little light headed…but by this point I guarantee that your body has forced you to take a breath in.

Your body knows that it’s not possible to keep breathing out over and over and over again without stopping to take breath in too.  If you don’t stop to take the breath in, sooner rather than later you’ll lose the ability to give it out because there’s nothing in there left to give.

What I always find interesting about this exercise is that even after you’ve tried to breathe out everything you have, when you try again you usually have a little left in reserve…which tends to be the same in life too.  If you continue to give and give over and over again, when you think the tank is empty you tend to find that there’s a little left in reserve…but if you don’t learn to receive as well, then you’ll soon be left with nothing more to give.

The other challenge that everyone giving has, is that if we all want to give and no-on wants to receive…then no-one really gets to give!  In order for giving to work, someone has to be willing to receive it in.  So in avoiding giving you actually deny someone else the gift of giving.

So how can we learn to receive?

There are opportunities to receive around us all the time, every day, everywhere we go.  The key to allowing yourself to receive is to become aware of them, and to give yourself permission to take these opportunities.

There are four key areas in which we have the opportunity to receive…and I invite you to look out for them in the coming week.

  • Receiving from yourself – How often do you take the time to give to yourself and allow yourself to really receive it?  Self-care is so important to our wellbeing and vastly underrated and under prioritised by the majority of women.  It can come in many different forms…allowing yourself to rest, pampering yourself, choosing to take time indulging yourself and doing something you love.  What could you do to receive from yourself today?
  • Receiving from family and friends – We know that people love to give, and allowing ourselves to receive enables them to enjoy the process of giving that much more.  Allowing people close to us to be able to help and support us actually strengthens the bonds between us, and brings us closer to each other.
  • Receiving from strangers – How often has someone offered to give you a hand, or something as simple as offering you a seat on the train and your automatic response has been “No thanks, I’m fine”.  When we deny other people the ability to give to us, it discourages them for doing it for others…so take these opportunities to receive from people you don’t know…it could encourage them to do it for others too.
  • Receiving from an intimate partner – As a feminine woman, we sometimes don’t understand the needs of the masculine.  One of the primary needs of the masculine is to feel needed, and to feel like they have the ability to make the feminine happy.  When we don’t allow ourselves to receive from our partner, we deny them the ability to feel needed, and it creates a distance between us that we’re not even necessarily aware of.
This weekend was a great example for me.  On Sunday I had the opportunity to go and contribute by distributing bags to the homeless.  It was something that I was really looking forward to, because I love to give.But Sunday morning when I woke up I felt exhausted.  I’ve been working a lot recently and hadn’t taken the time to replenish myself.

So on Sunday I allowed myself to receive, from my partner, and from myself.  I was lucky enough to have an amazing man looking after me, treating me to breakfast in bed, massages and a variety of little things that made me feel great and put a smile on my face.  Not only did it make me feel good to receive, it made him feel incredible to be able to give to me.  I also allowed myself time to rest and recharge my batteries, to give myself some much needed self-care and downtime.

…and if you’d like an opportunity to receive then please feel free to join me for my free video series and webinar on the 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love and the 1 thing you need to know in order to attract the relationship you desire and deserve, which is my opportunity to give and share with you…and an opportunity for you to practice receiving.  If you’d like to join us, click here to sign up: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-7-mistakes-single-women/

…and I’ll leave you today with one of my favourite quotes about receiving:

If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me. 
” – Jarod Kintz

So this week, give others the gift of allowing them to give to you…and allow yourself to receive.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

A Christmas gift that you can give yourself…

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st, Christmas GiftDo you remember to give yourself a Christmas gift?

This year can be a bit crazy and hectic….remembering every Christmas gift that you need to buy, the cards that need to be written, all the wrapping that needs to be done….it can be a bit of a mission!

Would you like a little extra Christmas gift?

As well as sharing with you how grateful I am for all of your help and support this year I wanted to give you a little extra Christmas gift.  This one is a bit special though, you can’t fit it in a box, or put a bow around it….but it’s probably the most important gift you’ll get this year.

What kind of Christmas gift is that?

So watch the video now to find out more about this very special Christmas gift….from me to you…

Remember to share this Christmas gift with others…

So I really encourage you to give yourself this Christmas gift and to share it with others too …if you’re anything like me you probably know a dozen women who could all do with a reminder about this Christmas gift…so please take the time to share this video with them too.

As we all know, femininity is about flow….and that flow requires both giving and receiving…so remember that this Christmas season, as you give yourself this Christmas gift.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

So what IS feminine? What does it look like? Can you learn how to be feminine?

feminine

So…the question that everyone keeps asking me…what IS feminine?

What does being feminine look like? Well having established why femininity is important, in order to explain what it is, let’s start with what it isn’t. There are so many misperceptions about what the word feminine actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.  Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.  This summer when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Feminine = Weak?

So let’s start with weakness.  Feminine has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines (cue lots of emails telling me he is an aubergine addict…).  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman is incredibly strong; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.

Does Feminine = Submission?

Another common misperception is that being feminine involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s about being true to yourself, finding your inner strength and self respect and being proud of who you are inside.

Does Feminine = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that being feminine is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance.  The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic.

So what does Feminine look like?

Femininity can take on many forms, because it is unique to the individual woman.  For example, when I’ve asked for examples of feminine women in the public eye, three women who regularly get mentioned are Kate Middleton (the newest member of the royal family), the actress Kate Winslet and Dita Von Teese.  I’m sure you would agree that the appearance and behaviour of each of these women are very different, and yet they are all viewed as feminine women…because each of them are being completely authentic from the inside out.

Now I wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with being pink, girly or fluffy, if that’s who you genuinely are…but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the route to femininity consists of dressing daily in a pink fluffy dress! 🙂

Being feminine is about being who you authentically are inside, plain and simple.

…and as such defining it in specific terms can be a little challenging, as being feminine looks slightly different for each individual woman.

However, there are some core aspects of femininity which are common to all feminine women.  They may appear to a greater or lesser extent from person to person, but they will all appear in some shape or form.

In order to make it nice and easy for us to remember these aspects (in case we decide that we would like to focus on developing any of them), I’ve pulled them together into a simple acronym.  It couldn’t be simpler…it’s about being F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. first.

Flow – Being feminine is all about being open, and letting things flow.  The crucial element of this flow is that it is two-way; it is about giving AND receiving in equal measure.  If you can maintain an openness in your daily life, you will naturally feel more relaxed and feminine.

Emotionally connected – Women are natural relationship builders; we use our ability to connect emotionally with ourselves and others to develop genuine bonds with the people around us.  Our ability to express vulnerability, compassion and kindness are our biggest assets when it comes to connecting at an emotional level.  Emotion is such a crucial aspect of being feminine and as love is the most positive and powerful it is the best place to start, both with yourself and with others.  Love has managed to get itself a bit of a bad rap though…we’ve all heard sayings such as “Love Hurts” and “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.  So when we talk about love it’s not the 21st century kind with all the rules, restrictions and pain associated with it.  We are talking about natural love, the kind that you have for your mother before you even know who she is.  Unconditional love…pure and simple.

Magic – I’m not referring to Harry Potter or David Copperfield here!  This is all about re-capturing the sense of magic from our childhood.  Being playful, childlike and having fun with life!  Most importantly…don’t take yourself too seriously!  Being feminine is about remembering the wonder that life held when you were a child and bringing that joy and ability to appreciate the little things into your everyday life.

Inspiring – Unlike some of our male counterparts, feminine women don’t have any inclination to use force or pressure to affect people around us…our core strength lies in being able to inspire, motivate and positively influence anyone we come into contact with.

Nurturing – Women are at their heart nurturers…but this doesn’t mean that we all need to have children, or spend our afternoons tending flowerbeds!  Our feminine nurturing nature can be applied in any area of life…it is about supporting and helping to inspire growth in both ourselves and those around us.

Intuition – Everyone has heard of female intuition – tales of it are legendary!  But it doesn’t have to take the form of some sort of supernatural ability…intuition can simply be a blend of awareness, knowledge and experience.  At times I’m sure that we’ve all had a gut instinct about something…often that we couldn’t actually explain or rationalise…it could be that we’re connecting with some sort of “higher ability” or it could just be your subconscious is aware of things that your conscious mind hasn’t noticed.  Either way…if it serves you and steers you in the right direction, then it’s got to be a good thing!

Natural – Femininity comes from a place of complete and total authenticity.  As a feminine woman it is about getting back to who you naturally are at your core…embracing and embodying it completely.  Being feminine is owning, honouring and celebrating the real you, from the heart…and sharing it with the world.  It’s not about looking, or acting a certain way or wearing certain things…it’s about being you, through and through, inside and out, and recognising how beautiful that is.  It’s really getting in touch with who you are inside…with your ‘essence’…and allowing that to radiate out.

Energy – Energy is where the spark is added to the mix.  This is where our sense of strength, passion and real power comes from.  A feminine woman is an absolute force of nature.  She doesn’t seek out power, or to prove herself like her male counterparts…and when she’s really in her element there is absolutely no need for either.  She can feel the flow of feminine power coursing through her…and every single person she meets can feel it too.

So there, as promised, is my definition of feminine.  It’s come as a result of researching lots of different sources…as well as from my own personal experience.

…and the question now is – what’s YOUR experience of being feminine?

I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts…

Stay fabulous!

Claire x

The $64,000 Question…What IS Femininity?

female symbol

So…the question that everyone keeps asking me…what IS femininity?

Well having established why femininity is important, in order to explain what it is, let’s start with what it isn’t, there are so many misperceptions about what the word femininity actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.  Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.  This summer when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Femininity = Weakness?

So let’s start with weakness.  Femininity has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines (cue lots of emails telling me he is an aubergine addict…).  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman is incredibly strong; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.

Does Femininity = Submissive?

Another common misperception is that it involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s about being true to yourself, finding your inner strength and self respect and being proud of who you are inside.

Does Femininity = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that femininity is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance.  The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic.

So what does Femininity equate to?

Femininity can take on many forms, because it is unique to the individual woman.  For example, when I’ve asked for examples of feminine women in the public eye, three women who regularly get mentioned are Kate Middleton (the newest member of the royal family), the actress Kate Winslet and Dita Von Teese.  I’m sure you would agree that the appearance and behaviour of each of these women are very different, and yet they are all viewed as feminine women…because each of them are being completely authentic from the inside out.

Now I wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with being pink, girly or fluffy, if that’s who you genuinely are…but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the route to femininity consists of dressing daily in a pink fluffy dress! 🙂

Femininity is about being who you authentically are inside, plain and simple.

…and as such defining it in specific terms can be a little challenging, as femininity is slightly different for each individual woman.

However, there are some core aspects of femininity which are common to all feminine women.  They may appear to a greater or lesser extent from person to person, but they will all appear in some shape or form.

In order to make it nice and easy for us to remember these aspects (in case we decide that we would like to focus on developing any of them), I’ve pulled them together into a simple acronym.  It couldn’t be simpler…it’s about being F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. first.

Flow – Femininity is all about being open, and letting things flow.  The crucial element of this flow is that it is two-way; it is about giving AND receiving in equal measure.  If you can maintain an openness in your daily life, you will naturally feel more relaxed and feminine.

Emotionally connected – Women are natural relationship builders; we use our ability to connect emotionally with ourselves and others to develop genuine bonds with the people around us.  Our ability to express vulnerability, compassion and kindness are our biggest assets when it comes to connecting at an emotional level.  Emotion is such a crucial aspect of femininity and as love is the most positive and powerful it is the best place to start, both with yourself and with others.  Love has managed to get itself a bit of a bad rap though…we’ve all heard sayings such as “Love Hurts” and “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.  So when we talk about love it’s not the 21st century kind with all the rules, restrictions and pain associated with it.  We are talking about natural love, the kind that you have for your mother before you even know who she is.  Unconditional love…pure and simple.

Magic – I’m not referring to Harry Potter or David Copperfield here!  This is all about re-capturing the sense of magic from our childhood.  Being playful, childlike and having fun with life!  Most importantly…don’t take yourself too seriously!  Remembering the wonder that life held when you were a child and bringing that joy and ability to appreciate the little things into your everyday life.

Inspiring – Unlike some of our male counterparts, feminine women don’t have any inclination to use force or pressure to affect people around us…our core strength lies in being able to inspire, motivate and positively influence anyone we come into contact with.

Nurturing – Women are at their heart nurturers…but this doesn’t mean that we all need to have children, or spend our afternoons tending flowerbeds!  Our nurturing nature can be applied in any area of life…it is about supporting and helping to inspire growth in both ourselves and those around us.

Intuition – Everyone has heard of female intuition – tales of it are legendary!  But it doesn’t have to take the form of some sort of supernatural ability…intuition can simply be a blend of awareness, knowledge and experience.  At times I’m sure that we’ve all had a gut instinct about something…often that we couldn’t actually explain or rationalise…it could be that we’re connecting with some sort of “higher ability” or it could just be your subconscious is aware of things that your conscious mind hasn’t noticed.  Either way…if it serves you and steers you in the right direction, then it’s got to be a good thing!

Natural – Femininity comes from a place of complete and total authenticity.  As a feminine woman it is about getting back to who you naturally are at your core…embracing and embodying it completely.  Being feminine is owning, honouring and celebrating the real you, from the heart…and sharing it with the world.  It’s not about looking, or acting a certain way or wearing certain things…it’s about being you, through and through, inside and out, and recognising how beautiful that is.  It’s really getting in touch with who you are inside…with your ‘essence’…and allowing that to radiate out.

Energy – Energy is where the spark is added to the mix.  This is where our sense of strength, passion and real power comes from.  A feminine woman is an absolute force of nature.  She doesn’t seek out power, or to prove herself like her male counterparts…and when she’s really in her element there is absolutely no need for either.  She can feel the flow of feminine power coursing through her…and every single person she meets can feel it too.

So there, as promised, is my definition of femininity.  It’s come as a result of researching lots of different sources…as well as from my own personal experience.

…and the question now is – what’s YOUR experience of femininity?

I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts…

Stay fabulous!

Claire x