I feel so lucky to have shared the last year with you and to have been able to get to know a lot of the Feminine 1st community quite well.
The highlights of my year though have been the times that I’ve heard responses to blog posts, videos or newsletters that have expressed how much people have wanted or needed to hear the advice and help I’ve shared.
There have been a few times where I’ve questioned whether or not to share on a particular topic or subject…and even where I’ve questioned whether to post a specific article when it’s been written.
I’ve thought maybe it wasn’t my best work, or maybe it wouldn’t be relevant….and its the times when I’ve had those thoughts and then received a message thanking me for sharing something that came at the ‘perfect time’ that have had the biggest impact on me.
I’ve had a lot of emails, messages and even face to face requests over the last year…and every single one of them has either been responded to, or is in my list of ‘to write’ blog posts that are planned for the coming weeks and months.
I love it when someone takes the time to write to me to ask specifically for what they want or need to hear about as it means that I get to answer and respond to your needs, directly.
So this week seemed like the perfect time to ask this question.
Watch the video now to hear all about it:
…you see Feminine 1st really is all about you.
You’re the reason I started Feminine 1st.
You’re the reason I get up in the morning eager and ready to create and share more.
You’re the reason I write these blogs and post these videos.
So I want to invite you to take this opportunity to ask for what you really want..to make sure that you’re getting what you want and need from the upcoming articles.
There are four ways to get in touch:
So take this opportunity to get in touch and ask for what you really want.
Getting back to the real you inside, being your true authentic self and letting it radiate out of you for the world to see.
If a feminine woman who is confident and comfortable in her femininity walked in a room wearing trainers, baggy jeans and a big jumper without her hair being done or a scrap of makeup across her face, people would still be able to see her femininity.
Likewise if a woman who was more identified with her masculine traits walked into a room in a beautiful dress, people would still see and respond to the masculinity in her.
When you’re really in touch with who you truly are, it radiates out of you. They might not even realise it, but people can see it and feel it…they respond to it.
I had an experience a few years ago that really demonstrated this to me. I’d always known that people can get a sense of other people…but I hadn’t realised how literal that could be.
As you may know, I’m something of a hugger.
I love hugging.
Most people who have ever met me have probably been hugged by me (with certain notable exceptions…I don’t believe I’ve ever hugged my dentist, doctor or a policeman…yet).
One of my favourite videos of all time is the FREE HUGS viral video:
I am the originator of the now world famous “Squishy Hug”.
Several years ago I actually had two ‘FREE HUGS’ T-shirts made up that have been worn on numerous occasions.
…and I have even hugged rival team members during a friendly game of rounders (a game similar to softball if you are one of my international readers).
There are few situations that I can think of where a hug won’t make things a little bit better 🙂
Everyone who knows me, knows that the way to my heart is through a heartfelt hug….and that I am just as happy to give strangers a hug as I am my friends.
A few years ago, I was in a salsa club in London…it was pretty late in the evening and I’d been dancing most of the night.
The club I was at was one of my regular spots…I went there at least 2 or 3 times a week and I knew all of the regulars…and several of the irregulars too!
Unlike most of the clubs that I went to, this one often had a mix of dancers and non-dancers…so not everyone who was there was there to salsa.
I was stood on the edge of the dance floor in a little world of my own watching my friends dancing, when I saw someone approaching me.
Now in a salsa club, if someone comes towards you it’s normally to ask you to dance, so I was fully expecting a request to hit the floor and bust out some moves.
When I turned to see who was walking towards me I realised that it was a woman…but as I both lead and follow in salsa it’s not unusual for women to ask me to dance as well as men, so I wasn’t surprised.
As she stopped in front of me I realised that I’d never seen this person before, she wasn’t part of the local salsa scene and hadn’t been to any of the clubs or events that I’d been to….but that wouldn’t have stopped me from having a dance!
So I turned to look at her and she said simply “Can I have a hug?”
I was a little surprised by the request as I had been expecting to be asked for a dance…but without missing a beat I responded by saying “Of course you can” and giving her one of my famed squishy hugs.
Once I’d given her the hug she smiled and simply said “Thank you” and then left the club. As I watched her go I realised that she wasn’t with anyone else…and I never saw her again.
It suddenly occurred to me that if she had asked the same question to anyone else I knew in the club at that time at best they would have probably given her a very odd look and made an excuse to get out of the situation…at worst they would have flat refused.
I checked and I wasn’t wearing one of my free hugs T-shirts…and I’d also not been hugging people at the time, so it didn’t appear that she’d seen something that would have suggested I’d be open to the request.
Then I realised something.
It wasn’t because I was doing or saying something…it’s because of who I was. I was ‘being’ myself…and other people can just pick up on it.
In the same way as when I’m out and about my sister regularly asks, “Why do strangers always start talking to you?”….and I respond by saying “I think it’s because they can tell that I’m the sort of person who will talk back!”
When you are being yourself, completely and totally, other people can sense it, and they respond to it without needing to see any other ‘evidence’ of it.
It’s the reason random strangers start talking to me no matter where I am…it’s the reason that I find kind people wherever I go who offer to help if I get stuck…and it’s the reason that people feel they can walk up to me in a salsa club and ask me for a hug, even if they’ve never met me before!
So this week I have two questions for you. Firstly, “Who are you being?” and secondly “Are you being it so completely that other people can just sense it?”
…and this is a reminder to you that being feminine has nothing to do with what is on the outside, what you do or what you say…it’s about who you are.
When you feel it on the inside, it radiates out of you…and then other people can see the beautiful feminine woman that you really are.
…and next time you see me, be sure to claim your squishy hug! ;o)
A year ago today, at 11:11 on 11/11/11 Feminine 1st was launched into the world…and what a year it has been.
I couldn’t let this occasion go past without sharing a short, heartfelt message from my heart to yours to let you know how deeply grateful I am for you being a part of the Feminine 1st journey on this first exciting step.
Watch the video now to see the message:
I cannot put into words how grateful I am for all of the support I’ve received this year…the comments on the blog, Facebook posts, Tweets, Emails and especially kind words shared face to face.
I spent yesterday celebrating Feminine 1st’s and my own birthday by taking some presents and cards that I’d wrapped and giving them out to strangers in Covent Garden in London…it was such an amazing experience and I left the day feeling totally filled with love and gratitude. I highly recommend giving it a go!
I’m so pleased that you have been a part of this first step on this exciting journey…and I look forward to sharing another fabulous year with you ahead.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
…and in moments like this have you ever thought a few minutes later “I wish I’d said _____”?
I had an experience recently during some downtime with a girlfriend of mine that reminded me firstly, how important it is to allow myself to receive…and secondly how it’s OK for me to change my mind…and to express that! 🙂
Watch the video to find out more:
…you see, these days we spend so much of our lives on ‘auto pilot’ that we do and say things without really thinking about it….and when we DO think about it and realised we wished that we’d said something else, we often believe it’s too late to change our mind!
So this week is a little reminder to you that when you find yourself in moments like that, allow yourself to say “Actually, I’ve changed my mind…would you mind if…?” and see what the response is.
You might be surprised…
See what others are saying:
- It’s official – Men’s and women’s brains are physically different. So how does this affect our relationships? on
- How important it is to be your own best friend…? on
- Why am I attracting the opposite of what I want? on
- Why do some women avoid masculine men? on
- Will you take the seven-day self-worth challenge? on