It’s so easy in life to become attached to how things are going to work out. Not just the ‘what’, the outcome that you’re after, but the ‘how’ it’s going to appear.
We’re so used to these busy lives in which we plan everything in minute detail, that we expect to be able to plan everything, and for life to follow that plan.
The trouble with this is that it’s very easy to become disappointed when things don’t appear to be following the idea you have in your mind about how something is going to work out.
In short, we like to be in control.
The trouble with control is that it is an illusion…it doesn’t really exist. The only things that are really within our control are what we do, how we think and how we respond to life outside of ourselves.
But in trying to keep control we step into a very tense, masculine space.
Control is not a feminine quality.
In fact, the opposite of control is where the feminine flourishes…in the space of surrender…of letting go.
The thing is, letting go can be scary….it takes us into the unknown…but it also takes us into possibility.
When we let go, we allow things to happen in ways that we’ve not considered…and in doing so we remove the limits that we put upon them.
Last weekend I had an experience of this that was incredibly powerful.
If you’re not aware, last weekend I was celebrating Feminine 1st’s first birthday in central London. I had a great day planned.
As I’m not going to be in the UK for my personal birthday this year, I decided that what more fabulous way to celebrate than combining celebrating my birthday with celebrating the first birthday of Feminine 1st?
…and to make it a really fabulous, but also fulfilling, day (see what I did there? 😉 ) the main theme of the day was giving.
The plan was to bring into London with me at least 33 cards and gifts written and wrapped up and to spend the afternoon having fun around London giving them out to strangers.
THEN…to celebrate the first birthday of Feminine 1st I wanted to find a way to gift a pair of fabulous pink heels to a stranger to help spread some feminine love in the city of London.
So we arranged to meet at a London festive institution, the Winter Wonderland area that gets created every year in Hyde Park, in order to have some festive fun while giving the gifts out.
The morning of the celebrations I got numerous texts, emails and calls to say that the seasonal flu virus was doing the rounds and that a lot of people couldn’t make it.
So I headed into the city with bundles of bags filled to the brim with cards and presents for unsuspecting strangers…in fact I didn’t even arrive at Hyde Park before I’d given out my first gift.
A small boy on the train had kept me entertained the whole way up with his numerous questions, including, “Daddy, are all those trains there because that’s where they sleep?” I couldn’t resist and handed his Dad a colouring set to give to him.
So I hopped on the tube, and made my way over to the park and started looking for the entrance to the Winter Wonderland.
Houston, we had a problem.
As I wasn’t used to celebrating my birthday so early, it didn’t occur to me that the Winter Wonderland wouldn’t be open yet…and in the craziness of returning from the US I forgot to check the details.
So, no Winter Wonderland.
The other challenge was that with the various bugs that were doing the rounds, most of the people who were due to join us during the day weren’t able to make it.
In the end there were only three, plus me.
I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I thought it would be great to have a nice big group of friends all running around doing good deeds for strangers…but with all of the coughs, colds and flu viruses bouncing around London it wasn’t meant to be.
So having connected with the friends that were still able to make it we headed to Covent Garden to do our gift giving.
We found our base (at the cupcake shop of course!) and had a cup of tea (and a couple of their best cupcakes) while we prepared to find some people to share some gifts and smiles with.
We then spent the next few hours running around Covent Garden with presents and cards, surprising and sharing with complete strangers.
The reactions were fantastic, from surprise to disbelief and everything in between.
During the course of the afternoon we even found four people who were out celebrating their birthdays to give gifts and cards to.
As we walked to the restaurant to meet everyone else for the evening I had a sudden realisation.
If we had had more people who had joined us then the whole afternoon would have been complete and total chaos. It was hard enough keeping track of the people who made it while we gave the gifts out to people around the square.
In addition, if we’d tried to do the gift giving at Winter Wonderland, with the music, crowds and funfair it would have been even harder to keep everyone together.
…and when it came to approaching total strangers, a group of three was probably the maximum you could manage without scaring people off completely.
The afternoon had been completely different to what I’d planned or expected.
…and it had been completely and totally perfect.
I left the day feeling absolutely fill to the brim with love and gratitude. I’d met so many lovely people and had seen so many strangers with huge smiles on their faces…it was everything I could have wanted and more.
I could have spent the afternoon worrying about the fact that it hadn’t worked out as I’d planned…and if I had, I’d have missed out on one of the most enjoyable and rewarding afternoons I’ve ever had.
The moment I let go of my expectations and surrendered to the knowledge that it was all working out exactly as it was supposed to I opened myself up to having this fantastic celebration.
I couldn’t have felt happier, I couldn’t have felt more feminine, I couldn’t have had a bigger smile on my face.
So…this week I encourage you to let go of your expectations, and to surrender to the possibility of what might be…
…you never know where it might lead you.