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FEMININE - I - INTUITION - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

Aspects of the feminine…Do you use your intuition?

FEMININE - I - INTUITION - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo on our journey into the different aspects of the Feminine so far we’ve covered Flow, Emotional Connection, Magic, Inspiration and Nurturing.

Today we get to look at one of the aspects of the feminine that can cause the most confusion, and be the most challenging to understand and embody.

…but it’s also one of the most powerful aspects of the feminine, and the one that can make the biggest difference to your life when you begin to tap into it.

Today we’re looking at the aspect of intuition.

We’ve all heard of female intuition…

Female intuition is a long debated phenomenon, and one that has been the source of much discussion and even some mockery at times.

We’ve all experienced it at times…

..that little feeling that something is (or isn’t) quite right…

…the small voice inside that is whispering in your ear…

…a sense that is nudging you in a certain direction.

So what is female intuition?

There are a lot of different ideas about female intuition and what it is.

Some believe it’s a supernatural ability that women possess.

Some believe it’s the combination of awareness and experience that is processed so quickly our conscious minds aren’t aware of it.

Some believe it’s due to women’s ability to read emotions through facial expression and body language.

But whatever it is, it’s powerful, and it has the ability to transform your life.

So today I want to share with you not only how to tap into your intuition, but also an incredibly important learning that I had around intuition that could change how you view it completely…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So how can you tap into your feminine intuition?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out how to tap into your intuition!

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

18 ways to feel more feminine…

18 ways to feel more feminineFinding ways to feel more feminine

Last week I began to share 18 ways to feel more feminine, ideas to inspire you to create your own unique femininity formula.

 

So as promised, this week I’m sharing you the final nine to help you create the recipe that will help you feel in feminine flow.

Create your feminine recipe…

Nourish yourself – Finding ways to nourish yourself, whether that be body, mind or spirit is a great way to fill your feminine cup as it all contributes to the energy you have which is a key part of the feminine. So whether it’s drinking plenty of water to make sure you’re hydrated and feeling great, or eating food that you know will feed the cells in your body and have them bursting with energy or even just making sure that you get enough sleep, making sure that your body is well looked after will make you feel fabulous.

Take time out for you – These days us women are so busy, with our to do lists, the hats we’re juggling and the plethora of people we’re trying to please that the one thing we often forget to do is to take time for ourselves. I know a lot of women who take time every single day for themselves, whether that’s taking time to relax, read a good book, meditate, go for a walk or just to let yourself ‘be’ for a bit without worrying about ‘doing’ for a while.

Find the things that just bring out your feminine nature – There are some things that for some reason or another just make us instantly feel more feminine. For some of us it’s wearing beautiful stiletto heels, for others it’s going bare foot and feeling grounded. It could be wearing a beautiful floaty goddess-inspired dress, or it could be having some time where you’re not restricted by clothes and just get to enjoy being in your natural state. Whatever it is, see if there are some things that just make you feel feminine, for no other reason than they do.

Get Creative – As creativity is all about expressing yourself, your passions and your emotions, getting creative is a fantastic way to reconnect with your feminine. Whether it’s through writing a journal, painting, drawing, it doesn’t matter…it’s all about how you want to creatively express yourself!

Spend time with other feminine women – For a feminine woman, one of the fastest ways to reconnect with your feminine can be spending time with other feminine women. Feeling that sense of sisterhood and support, from other beautifully feminine women can connect you to your feminine in a way that nothing else can. Being able to share all of yourself, to be vulnerable and speak your truth in a safe space with women who listen with no judgment or agenda, but who only want to support you is an experience that every woman should have. I am lucky enough to have an amazing collection of women who live in countries all around the world who are there for me and love and support me any time I want or need it.

Spend time around a masculine man – One of the reasons that we have not been as well connected with our feminine is that us women have spent a lot of time over the last few years living in our masculine. Whether to help us achieve success at work, or to protect ourselves from getting hurt in intimate relationships, it’s been our go-to place. So one way to help connect you’re your feminine is to spend time around someone who is a very masculine man. Your inner feminine woman will instantly recognise that you can relax and step out of that role because he’s got it covered.

Find things that you enjoy – Being playful and having fun are fundamental parts of the feminine, so one option for your unique feminine formula is to find something that you really enjoy, something that makes you laugh, something that lights you up, something that brings a smile to your face. Because when you feel that way, it will radiate out of you without you even realising it.

Follow your intuition – We all have a little voice, a gut instinct that gives us a feeling as to which path we’re meant to follow. Learning to follow that voice and see where it leads us (which in my experience has always been to amazing places!) can instantly make you feel more feminine. It’s not called female intuition for nothing!

Connect to your passion – One of the key female traits is energy…and a lot of our energy comes from our passions. So finding a way to connect with your passion can quickly help you connect to your feminine. Whether that passion is sexual, related to your purpose in life or reason for being, or something that you just feel passionately about, find your passion and you may find yourself feeling more feminine.

Get inspired – Inspiration is another key aspect of the feminine, so feeling inspired often can help you to feel more feminine too. The beauty with inspiration is that you don’t have to be inspiring others, you can be feeling inspired by someone else! So find someone or something that inspires you, and you may find your feminine gets inspired in the process.

You and your feminine…

Remember, your femininity is exactly that…YOUR femininity.

It’s all about what works for you.

So take the ideas here and play with them.

Try them, tweak them, change them completely

…and find what lights up your feminine flame.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you know when to follow your intuition and tell your head to butt out?

Do you know when to follow your intuition and tell your head to butt out? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stI’m sure that, like me, you’re a pretty smart cookie most of the time.

I love my brain.  It’s a helpful way to fill the space between my ears, comes in handy when I’m puzzling over a sudoku and is my secret weapon to place when it comes to organisation.

It’s also a pain in the @ss at times.

I know it’s only trying to help, but boy can it get in the way.

Let’s think about this.

Let’s over analyse that.

Let’s consider the other.

Quite frankly there are times that I’m over it.

At these times I mentally dictate a memo along the following lines:

Dear Brain,

Thanks for sharing.

Now go sit in the corner and have a cup of tea while I let intuition take the reigns.

Love,

Claire x

Does intuition get the reigns often enough in your house?

Last week I had a perfect example of this.

I had a friend who I’d known for about, um, four and a half days (I’m sure the half is important to the story) who sent me a message saying that she was going with another couple of friends for a day trip down to Stonehenge and Glastonbury.  They were going to hire a car to go down, and asked if (1) I wanted to come and (2) if I wanted to drive.

I went with my intuition in the moment and said yes.

Does your initial intuition get overruled by your head?

So I said yes.

Then I began to do my research.

That’s when my brain started knocking at the door and saying “Are you sure you don’t want my input?”

Well OK then brain, let me know what you think.

I start to realise that the journey is probably going to be between 7 and 8 hours of driving, which is probably double what I would want to do in a single day.

We will need to leave very early, and do the M25 in rush hour, and because we needed to be back by 6pm as our friends had dinner plans, we would be doing rush hour in the other direction too.

…and for all this we would probably have about 3 hours at Glastonbury.

Oh, and did I mention that the day beforehand we had heavy snow?

Commitment already made, analysis goes into overdrive.

After a short while of stressing about the various different challenges in this plan (and after a little assistance from a special someone), I remembered that my intuition had told me to go.

It was my head that was arguing with it.

Based on prior experience, which was the more reliable source?

I’ll give you two guesses…it’s not the one that starts with ‘h’ and ends in ‘ead’.

So I decided to breathe, trust that it was all going to work out as it was supposed to, and just enjoy the day.

I chose to go with the flow, to be in flow, to let my feminine intuition guide me and put the masculine logic to bed.

…and this is what happened, shared from the top of a very windy tor! (apologies for the dips in sound)…

So will you go with the flow and follow your intuition?

I had such an amazing day, and even the moments that I could have got frustrated by I found a way to enjoy.

When we were sitting for hours in traffic we got even more time to chat and connect as a group, and when everyone had a nap on the way home I got to have some time with my thoughts to reflect on the day.

If I’d listened to my head I’d have missed out on a beautiful day that left me feeling really filled up, very happy and was just what my inner woman needed.

So I invite you to follow your intuition and learn when to send your brain a memo saying “Thanks for sharing, now go and have a cup of tea in the corner, and let intuition handle this one!”

I can’t wait to speak to you again soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

So what IS feminine? What does it look like? Can you learn how to be feminine?

feminine

So…the question that everyone keeps asking me…what IS feminine?

What does being feminine look like? Well having established why femininity is important, in order to explain what it is, let’s start with what it isn’t. There are so many misperceptions about what the word feminine actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.  Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.  This summer when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Feminine = Weak?

So let’s start with weakness.  Feminine has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines (cue lots of emails telling me he is an aubergine addict…).  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman is incredibly strong; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.

Does Feminine = Submission?

Another common misperception is that being feminine involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s about being true to yourself, finding your inner strength and self respect and being proud of who you are inside.

Does Feminine = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that being feminine is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance.  The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic.

So what does Feminine look like?

Femininity can take on many forms, because it is unique to the individual woman.  For example, when I’ve asked for examples of feminine women in the public eye, three women who regularly get mentioned are Kate Middleton (the newest member of the royal family), the actress Kate Winslet and Dita Von Teese.  I’m sure you would agree that the appearance and behaviour of each of these women are very different, and yet they are all viewed as feminine women…because each of them are being completely authentic from the inside out.

Now I wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with being pink, girly or fluffy, if that’s who you genuinely are…but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the route to femininity consists of dressing daily in a pink fluffy dress! 🙂

Being feminine is about being who you authentically are inside, plain and simple.

…and as such defining it in specific terms can be a little challenging, as being feminine looks slightly different for each individual woman.

However, there are some core aspects of femininity which are common to all feminine women.  They may appear to a greater or lesser extent from person to person, but they will all appear in some shape or form.

In order to make it nice and easy for us to remember these aspects (in case we decide that we would like to focus on developing any of them), I’ve pulled them together into a simple acronym.  It couldn’t be simpler…it’s about being F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. first.

Flow – Being feminine is all about being open, and letting things flow.  The crucial element of this flow is that it is two-way; it is about giving AND receiving in equal measure.  If you can maintain an openness in your daily life, you will naturally feel more relaxed and feminine.

Emotionally connected – Women are natural relationship builders; we use our ability to connect emotionally with ourselves and others to develop genuine bonds with the people around us.  Our ability to express vulnerability, compassion and kindness are our biggest assets when it comes to connecting at an emotional level.  Emotion is such a crucial aspect of being feminine and as love is the most positive and powerful it is the best place to start, both with yourself and with others.  Love has managed to get itself a bit of a bad rap though…we’ve all heard sayings such as “Love Hurts” and “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.  So when we talk about love it’s not the 21st century kind with all the rules, restrictions and pain associated with it.  We are talking about natural love, the kind that you have for your mother before you even know who she is.  Unconditional love…pure and simple.

Magic – I’m not referring to Harry Potter or David Copperfield here!  This is all about re-capturing the sense of magic from our childhood.  Being playful, childlike and having fun with life!  Most importantly…don’t take yourself too seriously!  Being feminine is about remembering the wonder that life held when you were a child and bringing that joy and ability to appreciate the little things into your everyday life.

Inspiring – Unlike some of our male counterparts, feminine women don’t have any inclination to use force or pressure to affect people around us…our core strength lies in being able to inspire, motivate and positively influence anyone we come into contact with.

Nurturing – Women are at their heart nurturers…but this doesn’t mean that we all need to have children, or spend our afternoons tending flowerbeds!  Our feminine nurturing nature can be applied in any area of life…it is about supporting and helping to inspire growth in both ourselves and those around us.

Intuition – Everyone has heard of female intuition – tales of it are legendary!  But it doesn’t have to take the form of some sort of supernatural ability…intuition can simply be a blend of awareness, knowledge and experience.  At times I’m sure that we’ve all had a gut instinct about something…often that we couldn’t actually explain or rationalise…it could be that we’re connecting with some sort of “higher ability” or it could just be your subconscious is aware of things that your conscious mind hasn’t noticed.  Either way…if it serves you and steers you in the right direction, then it’s got to be a good thing!

Natural – Femininity comes from a place of complete and total authenticity.  As a feminine woman it is about getting back to who you naturally are at your core…embracing and embodying it completely.  Being feminine is owning, honouring and celebrating the real you, from the heart…and sharing it with the world.  It’s not about looking, or acting a certain way or wearing certain things…it’s about being you, through and through, inside and out, and recognising how beautiful that is.  It’s really getting in touch with who you are inside…with your ‘essence’…and allowing that to radiate out.

Energy – Energy is where the spark is added to the mix.  This is where our sense of strength, passion and real power comes from.  A feminine woman is an absolute force of nature.  She doesn’t seek out power, or to prove herself like her male counterparts…and when she’s really in her element there is absolutely no need for either.  She can feel the flow of feminine power coursing through her…and every single person she meets can feel it too.

So there, as promised, is my definition of feminine.  It’s come as a result of researching lots of different sources…as well as from my own personal experience.

…and the question now is – what’s YOUR experience of being feminine?

I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts…

Stay fabulous!

Claire x

Did you ever have a ‘wrong’ turn, that turned out to be the right one? I did…

BelieveSo last week I shared with you an interesting story about listening to your intuition, and following the breadcrumbs that your instincts guide you to…to see where it leads.

The story of they key had such a powerful affect on me, that I still tell it on a regular basis to highlight (with a very simple example) what can happen when we listen to our inner voice.

I also shared with you how the key to making the most of your intuition is trust.  Trusting yourself, trusting your inner voice, trusting that it is guiding you in the right direction, even if it’s not the direction that you expected it to be.

I had another experience around the same time as the one with the key that really taught me a big lesson about trusting my intuition and how even when it feels like it’s guiding you in the ‘wrong’ direction, it could actually be leading you to precisely where you need to be.

Several years ago I was on my way to a salsa club in the North of England with the guy that I was dating at the time.  I’d never been to this club before and he’d been once a very long time before.

Neither of us knew where we were going.

So we managed to get ourselves to the general area of the club with no trouble…but we were having a little difficulty working out the last little bit of our journey….that is, the bit which involved actually finding the club.

So we drive up to this roundabout and I get a very strong instinct that we need to drive straight ahead…and just as I’m about to say so, the guy I was with says “Oh I recognise this now, I’m sure the club is over there to the left”.

So we turn to the left and there ahead of us is the club that we are looking for.

I immediately think to myself “Well there you go…your intuition can’t be that good, it was sending you in the wrong direction”.

I don’t really give it much further thought, and we head into the club.

When we arrive, the club is awesome.  It’s full of people, the dance floor is packed, and they’re playing some great music.

Without hesitating I change into my dance shoes, grab my dance partner and head to the floor.

I’m having a great time twirling around, enjoying the music when all of a sudden I’m stopped in my tracks.

A woman who was dancing behind me misjudged how close I was to her, and stepped backwards with her full weight going through the stiletto heel directly onto the top of my foot.

Now, being a seasoned salsa dancer, I’m used to injuries on the dancefloor.

I’ve had elbows to the head, the odd rogue foot that’s made contact with my legs and minor collisions with surrounding couples.

I’ve always been very good at just shaking it off and dancing through it.  My immediate response is usually “I’ve had worse! Let’s just keep dancing”…and this was my response this time too.

Except on this occasion it became very quickly apparent that I wasn’t going to be able to ‘just keep dancing’.

After a feeble attempt to carry on, I had to admit defeat and go and survey the damage.

By the time I sat down, the swelling had already begun to show and it was clear that something wasn’t quite right.

I couldn’t walk, much less dance, and after a medical check up I was told that the top of my foot was fractured.  There wasn’t much that they could do for it, just ice, rest and wait for it to heal.

I wasn’t going to be dancing for a while.

Later, when we got back home, I remembered the moment at the roundabout.

I realised that if I’d followed my instincts and had driven straight on at the roundabout, I would never have been at that spot on the dance floor at that moment in time and I wouldn’t have received my nasty fracture.

Interestingly, if I had followed my intuition and drive straight on, when we finally worked out where the club was I would have thought that my intuition had been ‘Wrong’….that it would have sent me in the wrong direction.

The big lesson for me in all of this was that sometimes what appears to be a wrong turn, can actually be the perfect one for us at the time.

…and just because we’re not going the way we expected or wanted to go, doesn’t mean that we’re not going the way that serves us best.

You see, when it comes to intuition you need to believe.

Believe in yourself, believe in your intuition, believe that everything is happening for a reason…and that it will all work out perfectly in the end and above all believe that anything is possible.

So this week I’d like to invite you to think about any ‘wrong’ turns you’ve taken on your journey so far and see how they might have served you…without you even realizing it.  Have some fun with it! 🙂

…and next week I’ll be sharing with you an amazing story from my time here in San Diego about what can happen when a powerful intention is mixed with a strong belief….it’s a magical combination!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you follow your breadcrumbs?

BreadcrumbsSo we all know that intuition is one of the key traits of femininity…but what is intuition, and what does it look like?

Well, intuition comes in a number of forms. For some people it is a feeling that they get in their heart or their stomach…for others it’s like a little voice inside their minds that guides them in a certain direction.

…and then there are the breadcrumbs.

Often following your intuition is like following a trail of breadcrumbs. You have no idea where the path will end up, but each little piece along the way leads you to the next one.

If you just keep following the little pieces, you’ll end up where you need to get to.

I had an experience several years ago that was a perfect example of how following the breadcrumbs lead me to exactly where I wanted to (and needed to) be.

I was on my way home from a salsa club in central London, around 2am, walking back to my car.

Whenever I’m walking late, I always have my keys ready in my hand so that when I get to my car I don’t have to rummage around in the bottom of my bag trying to find their latest hiding place.

As I get to the cross roads of one of the busiest roads in London I see a busker on the corner of the road who was playing the most amazing guitar music.

As I walked past I noticed that he had some CDs of his music for sale and I wished I had enough money on me to buy one. Unfortunately as I only ever take enough money to salsa to get me through the night I knew that I only had a couple of pounds left in my pocket.

When I walked past the busker, I had a strong feeling to stop and give him some money, but it was late and I was tired, so I kept walking.

A few paces up the road I got the same feeling again with double the intensity, which stopped me in my tracks. So I decided to follow my gut.

I move my keys from my right hand to my left in order to get to the change that was in my right pocket. As I moved them the keychain broke and all of my keys scattered to the floor.

I gathered them all up and as I did so I realised that one of them was missing. The small key to the lock on my bedroom door in the flat I shared.

The problem with this was that it was the only copy of the key, and everything I owned was in my room.

I knew that without it I wouldn’t even be able to take a shower to get to work in the morning…let alone get access to my clothes!

So going home without this key was not an option….and the hunt for my missing key began.

Now, at that time in the morning in that area of London you tend to find a lot of people who have been out for a drink or two…and within minutes I had a small army of rather inebriated people helping me with my search.

After a few minutes the busker realised we were looking for something and came over to help. Having promised me he was “an expert key finder” he joined our slightly unorthodox search party.

When after another 10 minutes or so of searching we’d found nothing, I decided that as I had my keys out in my hand when I’d been walking up the road, there was a slim chance that I’d lost it further down the road (although the chain had only broken when I’d gone to give the busker some money) so I decided to retrace my steps.

I walked back down the road and as I crossed one of the busiest streets in London I thought to myself now is the time that I really could use a sign to guide me in the right direction.

As I had that thought I looked down, and there in the middle of the road was my key.

I was so excited that I ran back to the busker to share the news! He was really pleased for me and I headed back to the car.

When I got back to my car I realised that in the panic of losing my key and then the excitement of finding it again I had totally forgotten to give the busker any money.

It also struck me that if I hadn’t changed the hands of my keys I wouldn’t have realised that I’d dropped my key, and if I’d waited until I got back to the car I would have had such a distance to cover that there is no way I’d have found it again.

I’m a big believer in karma, so I felt compelled to go back and give him the money that I’d been going to give him when I discovered the loss of my key.

So I drove back around, jumped out of the car and ran over to the busker. I babbled at him about Karma and that it was down to him that I’d found my key and gave him all the money I had on me (probably around £2.50).

He said that I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted….at which point he told me that he wanted to give me something in return…and handed me one of his CDs.

…and the whole story had begun with me walking past wishing I had enough money to buy one of his CDs.

This is just a very small and simple example of when you follow one breadcrumb to the next…one gut feeling to the next, you have no idea of where it may lead you…but in my experience it’s always to a good place.

The key to making the most of your intuition is to trust. Sometimes it may feel like it’s guiding you in the ‘wrong’ direction, or a way that you weren’t planning on going….but in my experience even at the times where it seemed like it wasn’t leading me to where I needed to be…the outcome was always in my best interests.

…and next week I’ll share with you a story where I thought my intuition had sent me in the wrong direction…little did I know how much it would have helped me if I’d listened…

So…this week I encourage you to follow your breadcrumbs…and see where they lead you.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Over-think things? Me? Never…

ThinkingWe all do it.

We know we do.

We get caught up in our heads, over-thinking things and analyzing them to the ‘nth’ degree.

As women, we have a tendency (in general) to do this more than men do…as men have the ability (as alien as it may seem to us) to do the ‘thinking about nothing’ thing.

I’ve yet to meet a woman who has mastered this skill.

If you saw the link in last week’s newsletter to the hilarious video from Mark Gungor on the difference between men and women’s brains you know exactly what I’m talking about! (If you missed it, you can find it here clicky.me/71dC)

We’re intelligent people, so it’s natural that we would want to use our brains.

We want to work out the answer, solve the problem, find a solution.

But at what point does thinking become over thinking?

Where we analyse EVERYTHING before we say or doing anything.

Where we try and find every single possible permutation of a situation, every possible outcome so that we can ‘be prepared’…regardless of what happens.

As many people say…we get caught in the paralysis of analysis.

One of the main problems with this is that we get so caught up in the thinking that we never actually get to the doing.

When it comes to femininity and polarity however, the challenge with over-thinking is more fundamental.

Because although there are things that you can do to feel more feminine, there are things you can think, even things you can wear…at its core it is a feeling.

A sensation, an emotion, an essence.

A way of being…not of thinking.

If we get caught up in our heads too much we are actually moving away from the essence of what femininity is all about.

So this is just a little reminder.

To get out of your head and into your heart a little more often.

Focus on what you feel, not on what you think.

If you’re ever in doubt over what to do or how to proceed, go back to the core.

Turn down the volume on that little voice in your head (which is probably driving you crazy anyway!) and turn up the volume on your heart.

There are a number of ways to do this, but the one that I always recommend is an exercise at the end of my free MP3 audio program “The First Steps to Femininity”.  If you’ve not yet got it, pop over here now to get your free download: http://feminine1st.com/free-gift/

It only takes 8 minutes, and having you’ve done it once with the audio, it’s really easy to do any time, any place.

When you’ve reconnected with your heart, from THAT place ask yourself one simple question.

What is my intuition telling me?

How do you know?  It’s easy.

When you’re in this space, feeling really connected, ask yourself the question that you want the answer to, and the first thing that instantaneously comes to mind (before your brain has a chance to kick in and complicate matters!) is what your intuition is telling you.

As we know, femininity is all about authenticity, it comes from the inside out.  The best way to find that authenticity is getting back to the heart and working from what you feel, not necessarily what you know.

So, when your brain runs riot and gets carried away…tell it to take the afternoon off and spend some quality time with your heart.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

The Feminine Way to Business Success – Intuition – Day 28 of the Youtube Challenge

Day 28 of the Youtube challenge!

We’ve all heard about Female Intuition…whether you think that it’s some sort of supernatural ability or just a subconscious link between awareness and experience. So the question is, how can your intuition help you in business? Watch the video to find out more:

So, in the past have you ignored your intuition? What difference do you think that following your intuition would have on the success of your business?

I’d love to know what you are going to do differently to help make the most of your natural intuition, so leave me a comment below, drop me a message on Facebook or tweet me “@Feminine1st”.

Looking forward to sharing tomorrow’s tip with you…

In the meantime, Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you missed yesterday’s video on “Balance of Giving and Receiving” you can find it here: http://feminine1st.com/youtube-day-27/

The $64,000 Question…What IS Femininity?

female symbol

So…the question that everyone keeps asking me…what IS femininity?

Well having established why femininity is important, in order to explain what it is, let’s start with what it isn’t, there are so many misperceptions about what the word femininity actually means, and I think it’s important that we address these up front.  Over the last couple of decades, the word feminine (unless referring to the latest Ralph Lauren line) hasn’t always been seen as the most flattering description for a woman.  This summer when Susan Walsh suggested that women “try on” femininity for a short while to see how it fitted, one woman remarked that she saw being described as the most feminine member of staff at her place of work insulting as she believed that feminine = weak and that it meant that she wasn’t being taken seriously.

Does Femininity = Weakness?

So let’s start with weakness.  Femininity has about as much to do with weakness as Manolo Blahnik has to do with aubergines (cue lots of emails telling me he is an aubergine addict…).  In fact, a genuinely feminine woman is incredibly strong; feminine strength just presents itself in a different way to masculine strength.  Masculine strength comes from tension and contraction whereas feminine strength comes from flow and flexibility.  A feminine woman is a force of nature.

Does Femininity = Submissive?

Another common misperception is that it involves being submissive and appeasing people around you (especially men).  Again, nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s about being true to yourself, finding your inner strength and self respect and being proud of who you are inside.

Does Femininity = Pink and Fluffy?

I’ve also heard several women say that femininity is about being girly, pink and fluffy, or replicating old-fashioned domesticity.  Every time I hear femininity described in this way, it is always followed up with a comment along the lines of “but that’s not who I am”.  Femininity comes from the inside out;  it’s not something that you ‘put on’ in order to give an appearance.  The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic.

So what does Femininity equate to?

Femininity can take on many forms, because it is unique to the individual woman.  For example, when I’ve asked for examples of feminine women in the public eye, three women who regularly get mentioned are Kate Middleton (the newest member of the royal family), the actress Kate Winslet and Dita Von Teese.  I’m sure you would agree that the appearance and behaviour of each of these women are very different, and yet they are all viewed as feminine women…because each of them are being completely authentic from the inside out.

Now I wouldn’t want there to be any misunderstandings, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with being pink, girly or fluffy, if that’s who you genuinely are…but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that the route to femininity consists of dressing daily in a pink fluffy dress! 🙂

Femininity is about being who you authentically are inside, plain and simple.

…and as such defining it in specific terms can be a little challenging, as femininity is slightly different for each individual woman.

However, there are some core aspects of femininity which are common to all feminine women.  They may appear to a greater or lesser extent from person to person, but they will all appear in some shape or form.

In order to make it nice and easy for us to remember these aspects (in case we decide that we would like to focus on developing any of them), I’ve pulled them together into a simple acronym.  It couldn’t be simpler…it’s about being F.E.M.I.N.I.N.E. first.

Flow – Femininity is all about being open, and letting things flow.  The crucial element of this flow is that it is two-way; it is about giving AND receiving in equal measure.  If you can maintain an openness in your daily life, you will naturally feel more relaxed and feminine.

Emotionally connected – Women are natural relationship builders; we use our ability to connect emotionally with ourselves and others to develop genuine bonds with the people around us.  Our ability to express vulnerability, compassion and kindness are our biggest assets when it comes to connecting at an emotional level.  Emotion is such a crucial aspect of femininity and as love is the most positive and powerful it is the best place to start, both with yourself and with others.  Love has managed to get itself a bit of a bad rap though…we’ve all heard sayings such as “Love Hurts” and “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.  So when we talk about love it’s not the 21st century kind with all the rules, restrictions and pain associated with it.  We are talking about natural love, the kind that you have for your mother before you even know who she is.  Unconditional love…pure and simple.

Magic – I’m not referring to Harry Potter or David Copperfield here!  This is all about re-capturing the sense of magic from our childhood.  Being playful, childlike and having fun with life!  Most importantly…don’t take yourself too seriously!  Remembering the wonder that life held when you were a child and bringing that joy and ability to appreciate the little things into your everyday life.

Inspiring – Unlike some of our male counterparts, feminine women don’t have any inclination to use force or pressure to affect people around us…our core strength lies in being able to inspire, motivate and positively influence anyone we come into contact with.

Nurturing – Women are at their heart nurturers…but this doesn’t mean that we all need to have children, or spend our afternoons tending flowerbeds!  Our nurturing nature can be applied in any area of life…it is about supporting and helping to inspire growth in both ourselves and those around us.

Intuition – Everyone has heard of female intuition – tales of it are legendary!  But it doesn’t have to take the form of some sort of supernatural ability…intuition can simply be a blend of awareness, knowledge and experience.  At times I’m sure that we’ve all had a gut instinct about something…often that we couldn’t actually explain or rationalise…it could be that we’re connecting with some sort of “higher ability” or it could just be your subconscious is aware of things that your conscious mind hasn’t noticed.  Either way…if it serves you and steers you in the right direction, then it’s got to be a good thing!

Natural – Femininity comes from a place of complete and total authenticity.  As a feminine woman it is about getting back to who you naturally are at your core…embracing and embodying it completely.  Being feminine is owning, honouring and celebrating the real you, from the heart…and sharing it with the world.  It’s not about looking, or acting a certain way or wearing certain things…it’s about being you, through and through, inside and out, and recognising how beautiful that is.  It’s really getting in touch with who you are inside…with your ‘essence’…and allowing that to radiate out.

Energy – Energy is where the spark is added to the mix.  This is where our sense of strength, passion and real power comes from.  A feminine woman is an absolute force of nature.  She doesn’t seek out power, or to prove herself like her male counterparts…and when she’s really in her element there is absolutely no need for either.  She can feel the flow of feminine power coursing through her…and every single person she meets can feel it too.

So there, as promised, is my definition of femininity.  It’s come as a result of researching lots of different sources…as well as from my own personal experience.

…and the question now is – what’s YOUR experience of femininity?

I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts…

Stay fabulous!

Claire x