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Are men and women really the same deep down inside?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stIt has not been a great week at this end.  Unfortunately my whole family has managed to get a very nasty virus that has taken us all out of commission for several days.  So I was wondering this morning how I was going to get this week’s video done to share with you.

Since I’ve started doing these weekly videos the feedback has been great…in fact the one comment that I get on a regular basis is “Can you please do more videos?!”  So I listened…and last week I finished up in the studio completing my first video course, which I’m really excited to share with you.

So this week as I’m listening to my body (which is telling me that rest, and lots of it, is what I need right now) I thought that it would be nice to share with you a teeny tiny glimpse of the video course so that you still get your weekly dose of Feminine 1st video fabulousness.

So this week I wanted to share with you the answer to a very simple question.  Deep down inside, are men and women really the same?

Watch the video to find out the answer…

As always I’d love to find out what your thoughts are on this…so please leave me a comment below or get in touch with me via Facebook or Twitter.

There are some exciting things coming in the next few weeks that I can’t wait to share with you…so I guess the virus is my body’s way of ensuring that I’m well rested for them!

Wishing you an amazing week,

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

The Magnetism of the Masculine and the Feminine

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday I want to share with you about the magnetic qualities of the masculine and feminine and how important they are to creating that real passion, desire and attraction within relationships.

We look at the consequences of feminine women being completely in their masculine, masculine men being completely in their feminine, people neutralising themselves…and also what can happen when we get someone who lives in their feminine coming together with someone who lives in their masculine.

Watch the video to find out all about it…

It’s also important to remember that masculine doesn’t have to mean a man and feminine doesn’t have to mean a woman…it’s possible for a man to be more feminine at his core and for a woman to be more masculine, although it is more rare.  As long as you have a strong feminine energy and a strong masculine energy, whether that’s between a man and a woman, a woman and a man, two men, two women…it doesn’t matter…you’ll feel that magnetic pull.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the magnetism of the masculine and the feminine,  so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you are a single woman, I have a little gift for you….I am running some free webinars on “Femininity for the Single Woman” in the coming weeks…click here for all the details: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-ffsw/

The importance of polarity in relationships


I’ve had a lot of fun and games this week with various timezones…and in the midst of it all I had a great conversation on a radio show based out of LA and I wanted to share with you the discussion we had…watch the video to find out more…

You can listen to or download the MP3 of the show here: http://clicky.me/79KF

I’d love to know your thoughts are on the importance of polarity in relationships, so please leave me a comment below and share what you think…

…Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you remember to use your masculine…?

yin-yangMost of my focus in the past newsletters and blog posts have been focused on femininity and how to connect with and get into your feminine, so today I want to look at the other side of our energy.

As we know, we all have both masculine and feminine energy inside us, and in order to feel and be at our best, we need to find the balance between the two energies that is right for us…after all, each of us is unique, and so is our energy!

While it’s very important to spend the majority of our time in the energy which is most natural for us (for most women it’s feminine, and most men it’s masculine…but there are some cases where it’s the other way around) it is also important to know how and when to move into the opposite energy.

Certain situations will come up in life where it is better (for you or those around you) for you to utilise the other traits that you have inside you.

Last weekend I was crewing an event here in London (UPW) with Tony Robbins and I had an experience that demonstrated this perfectly.

UPW is a very intense event. We do a firewalk, it is highly emotional and many people come out of it having completely transformed some aspect of themselves or their lives.

On the third day of the event there is an experience for the participants that is very emotionally intense. During this experience, it is important for all of the crew to be in the room to support the participants, which means that we observe everything that’s going on.

Without giving too much away about it (because if you haven’t been to UPW, then I highly recommend going and I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise!) the experience involves the participants moving through negative and positive emotions in order to transform an area of their lives that they want to change.

During this time, the energy in the room is incredibly intense.

Having crewed this event before, I knew what to expect, and I was prepared for it, but there were a large number of crew members who were experiencing this for the first time.

I knew that during this experience I was going to need to stay very focused on the participants. It was my responsibility as a member of the crew to be there for them and support them.

I also realised that I needed to keep some focus on the members of the crew who had not been there before and who were experiencing this for the first time.

I needed to keep focused on the outcome of the experience…I know the amazing result of doing the process…so that was something that I chose to keep front of mind.

I had to be very assertive where necessary as there were situations which needed dealing with swiftly and simply for the benefit of everyone in the room.

I was highly motivated to get everyone in the room through the experience in a way that served them and their purpose.

My focus was absolutely unwavering…it was 100% where it needed to be in order to support the participants and my fellow crew members.

During this experience, the crew members buddy up…and it was my buddy’s first time crewing and therefore observing this exercise. I realised that I was very protective of my crew ‘buddy’ for the experience…and at times when she appeared to be struggling with it I stood beside her and gave her advice.

For the period of this experience, I switched from my usual ‘emotionally open’ position, to a more logical one…focusing on the outcome that we were working towards, and less on the emotional experience of the journey.

The experience went beautifully.

During it I helped a number of participants by getting them to speak to the right people, and helped my buddy when she found it tough.

A short time later, during a conversation with a friend, I realised that in order to deal with the exercise in the best way possible for both myself and the people around me, I had stepped (for that short period of time) into my masculine energy. I was using a lot of the masculine traits I had talked about in my recent post: http://feminine1st.com/what-is-masculinity/.

When the experience had finished, and the masculine energy was no longer required…I was right back in my feminine, welling up while watching the pure joy and delight on the faces of the participants and my fellow crew.

I’m so used to making the move to the masculine for short periods of time when the situation requires it, that I don’t tend to do it ‘consciously’ any more…I just move when it feels right to do so…and then back when the situation has come to an end.

But I realised that it is important to acknowledge that there are times when it’s not just preferable, it’s necessary to use your masculine energy.

…and it’s equally important to identify the time when it’s no longer required and can move back into the feminine again.

So what are the situations where you think that the masculine energy might serve you best for a short period of time?

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

What is masculinity?

Having shared my definition of Femininity some time ago…I thought it was about time I also shared my definition of Masculinity.

So which is better, masculinity or femininity?

The important thing to point out when talking about masculinity and femininity is that neither one is ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the other – they’re just different. Polar opposites. Yin and Yang.

Trying to determine which is better is like asking which are better, Manolos or Choos…neither is any better or worse than the other…just different 😉

The other thing to remember is that every single one of us has both masculinity and femininity inside us. At our core we will feel more comfortable with one of these energies than the other, but they are both there, and they are both helpful to us in different situations.

I’m often asked where the name ‘Feminine 1st’ came from and what it means. It is simply a reminder for women who are more naturally feminine to be “Feminine 1st” and then to utilise the masculine traits that they have as and when it is appropriate for them.

What does using masculinity mean for a woman?

Utilising our masculine traits often requires the use of testosterone…and for us ladies that chemical is in relatively short supply. So when we stay in our masculine for long periods of time we drain our testosterone supplies which leaves us only one option…adrenaline. Running on adrenaline for any period of time leaves us feeling drained and can lead to burn out (which we’ve all experienced from time to time)…which is the reason it’s so important to be able to move back into our feminine whenever we can.

It’s not about being ‘only feminine’ or denying that the masculinity inside us exists. It’s just about being the way that is more natural to us for the majority of the time, being able to bring in and use the traits of the other energy whenever it’s right for us to do so and then move back to our natural position again.

Yin-YangRemember the Yin-Yang symbol…the feminine side has a small piece of the masculine inside it….and vice versa.

It’s this dance between the femininity and masculinity inside us which makes life interesting!

So what exactly IS Masculinity?

So in order to be able to recognise and utilise the masculinity traits that we have inside us, I’ve put together a little acronym to help us remember them: M.A.S.C.U.L.I.N.E.

  • M – Motivated – Masculinity is very driven. It’s about being strongly motivated and having the drive for achieving whatever the individual is focused on at any moment in time.
  • A – Assertive – Masculinity is very assertive….sometimes this assertiveness can show itself as being forceful, wanting to lead or be in control, but it comes from a place of strength and being purpose-driven.
  • S – Structured – Masculinity is very structured…often focusing on systems, processes and procedures to ‘get the job done’.
  • C – Competitive – Masculinity is very competitive. Competitive sports and environments are where the masculine thrives – the thrill of competition, winning, beating other people (not literally!) and ‘coming out on top’ feed the masculine energy.
  • U – Unwavering – Masculinity is very focused…and this focus is often completely unwavering. This can sometimes be perceived as being tunnel-vision or seeming blinkered…but this laser-focus means that the individual keeps their ‘eyes on the prize’ at all times.  The masculine energy has a strong sense of ‘purpose’, when a masculine person is working towards that purpose or mission they are completely unwavering in their approach.
  • L – Logical – Masculinity is very logical, and therefore sometimes can appear quite un-emotional. Rationalising, analyzing, problem-solving, deducing are all common masculine traits….we all know that masculine men have a tendency to want to ‘fix the problem’ more often than dealing with the emotion!
  • I – Independent – Masculinity is very independent. Whereas feminine energy tends towards community and connection (especially in times of challenge), the masculine is much more self-sufficient and will often cut themselves off, take time and space on their own to work through any challenges that they are facing.
  • N – Naturally Protective – Masculinity is naturally protective. The masculine instinctively protects and defends that which he loves and holds dear. This can sometimes be perceived as machismo, misogyny or jealousy…but it is instinctive for a masculine man and originates from a place of love.
  • E – End-Result Orientated – Masculinity focuses on the ‘end-result’. It is very goal-oriented and purpose-driven, always working towards an objective or outcome.

Quite often people look at the definition of masculine traits and perceive some of them in quite a negative way (competitive, independent, unwavering)…but it’s important to realise that each of these traits have a purpose and a use in different situations.

Recently I heard masculinity and femininity described in terms of a glass and body of water. The water is the feminine, flowing and nourishing and the glass is the masculine, structured and hard. In order to really enjoy drinking the water, you need the glass in order to contain it. It doesn’t change the water, it just gives it a container in which to flow. Sometimes you need a little structure in order to allow yourself to flow freely within it….to get the best of both worlds.

…and as always it’s about balance. Finding the balance of femininity and masculinity which is right for you.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

What’s the fastest way to find your feminine?

Find your FeminineA question that I get asked all the time is “What is the fastest way for me to reconnect with my feminine?”

Believe me, I know how you feel.

Life these days is incredibly hectic for us women.

We have our jobs and careers to think about, we have our personal lives to juggle, we are thinking about our relationships, our health and fitness, our hobbies, our homes, our finances, our families…the list is never ending.

Our feminine tends to take a back seat

Often in order to cope with the craziness of our day-to-day lives women jump into ‘take control mode’.

Ladies Toilet SignI think that by seeing this sign around us all the time we just assume that all women wear capes and are secretly superheroes!

In going into our ‘superhero mode’ we end up taking on a number of very masculine traits, we become very analytical, driven, single-minded and focused on just ‘getting the job done’.

Finding the balance between our masculine and feminine

As we all know, we have both masculine and feminine energies inside us. Even if we’re primarily a more feminine person at our core, utilising our masculine traits when appropriate is not only helpful…but sometimes it’s necessary to deal with a given situation. It’s all about finding the right balance.

The challenge that we often have is that with all of the pressure and stress that we feel (either as a result of external situations, or more likely that we put on ourselves) we can spend more and more time in the masculine and less and less in the feminine.

This can lead to us feeling drained, unhappy and very unfulfilled.

Therefore it’s incredibly helpful to know how to quickly get back into your feminine in order to relax and feel like yourself again! 🙂

So what’s the answer?

How to find your feminine fast

The answer is that it’s different for everyone…but it’s really easy to find out what it is for you.

The quickest and easiest way to get back to your feminine is to reconnect with who you are at heart….and the quickest way to do that is to ask yourself what it was that you enjoyed doing when you were a child….say at 6 or 7 years old.

What was it at that age which made you absolutely light up from the inside?

What made you smile?

What made you laugh?

What would you do whenever you had a free second of time?

It could be absolutely anything.

For me it was dancing, singing or spending time with animals. Whenever my parents asked me what I wanted to do for the day, if there was an opportunity to feed some animals I was a very happy girl.

When we used to go for London for a day, the outing wasn’t complete without a trip to feed the pigeons in Leicester square.

I did ballet, tap, modern dancing and you couldn’t stop me from singing all over the house.

Any one of these things made me absolutely light up from the inside out.

For other people it’s different. I have one friend who used to pretend she was doing her own radio show with a little tape recorder and another who was happiest when she was swimming. It could be drawing or creating something, reading a book, listening to your favourite music….the list of possibilities is infinite.

…and when you’ve worked out what it is for you…the fastest way back to your feminine is to find a way to do it now.

Feeding the HorsesFor me, I dance salsa, I’ve joined a local ‘funky’ choir and on a regular basis I walk down to a field near my house and feed the horses that live there. If I feel like a dance, but there’s no salsa on that day, I take 10 minutes, blast my favourite tracks in my bedroom and dance like I’m a 5 year old again! 😀

…and the key is to do it until it makes you smile…until you feel that warm fuzzy feeling inside that you had when you were a child.

Voila! Back to your feminine in the blink of an eye…

…and now you know what makes you feel like this, it’s a great idea to arrange to do it on a regular basis. Put a note in your diary as a reminder, make a little time every week and take this time for you.

Because it’s far more enjoyable to find your feminine BEFORE life gets overwhelming, rather than after!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, you might also like to check out this one about “What IS Feminine?”

The Feminine Way to Business Success – Be Yourself – Day 18 of the Youtube Challenge

Day 18 of the Youtube challenge!

So often people believe that they need to be or act a certain way in order to be successful, both in business and in life. So would you like to know how important being yourself is to the success of your business? Watch the video to find out:

So, are you always yourself in your business? How do you think that being yourself could enhance your business even further?

I’d love to know what you think of the concept of ‘being yourself’ in business and how it can help with your success, so leave me a comment below, drop me a message on Facebook or tweet me “@Feminine1st”.

Looking forward to sharing tomorrow’s tip with you…

In the meantime, Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you missed yesterday’s video on “How to Network Face to Face” you can find it here: http://feminine1st.com/youtube-day-17/

The Feminine Way to Business Success – How to Parent your Business – Day 4 of the Youtube Challenge

Day 4 of the Youtube challenge!

Today I wanted to get you to think about a whole new way of approaching your business.  So many businesses are focused on what they can get out of their staff, and what more their staff could / would / should be doing. So how about we view them as if we were a parent? How might that change things?

Viewing your team and your business as if you are a parent will mean that your focus is on how they can get the best out of themselves…and in turn how they can contribute in the best way possible to your business.

So what could you do to approach your team and your business like a parent?  What changes could you make in your day to day working life to give the best support to your team to help them reach even greater heights?  How could nurturing them and their needs transform how they help you and your business?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a comment below, drop me a message on Facebook or tweet me “@Feminine1st”.

Looking forward to sharing tomorrow’s tip…

In the meantime, Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you missed yesterday’s video on “The Balance of Work & Play in Business” you can find it here: http://feminine1st.com/youtube-day-3/

The Feminine Way to Business Success – The Balance of Work & Play in Business – Day 3 of the Youtube Challenge

Day 3 of the Youtube challenge!

We all know now how important balance is between the masculine and feminine, but it’s also so important to find the balance between your work and play as well.  So today I talk about the work life balance and how you can bring play into your work…and the right element of work into your play (trust me, it’s a good thing!) to get the best of both worlds.

So where are you on the scale of work life balance? Do you need a little more work? Do you need a lot more play? What are you going to do to get a better balance?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a comment below, drop me a message on facebook or tweet me “@Feminine1st”.

Looking forward to sharing tomorrow’s tip…

In the meantime, Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you missed yesterday’s video on “The Balance of Masculine & Feminine in Business” you can find it here: http://feminine1st.com/youtube-day-2/

The Feminine Way to Business Success – The Balance of Masculine & Feminine in Business – Day 2 of the Youtube Challenge

Day 2 of the Youtube challenge!

As I mentioned when I posted my introductory video, although this series of videos is called “The Feminine Way to Business Success” it is not just for women. The hints and tips that I’m sharing for the next 30 days will also be helpful for men too. So today I talk about the fact that we all have both masculine and feminine traits inside us and how we can go about finding the balance that is right for us.

So what areas of your business do you think your feminine side will help you to be most effective? What are the situations in which your masculine traits might come in useful?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a comment below, drop me a message on facebook or tweet me “@Feminine1st”.

Looking forward to sharing tomorrow’s tip…

In the meantime, Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you missed yesterday’s video on “The Feminine Approach to Business Success” you can find it here: http://feminine1st.com/youtube-day-1/