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Have you ever been this kind?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st, KindI’m curious, how kind are you?  Do you show kindness to others?  Family? Friends?  How about strangers?

I’m someone who tries to be as kind to others as I can be…and I’m someone who believes that the more kindness that a person puts out in the world, the more kindness that comes back.

…and while I was in the states a few weeks ago, I had a situation where I was in desperate need of some kindness…

How kind is the average person?

These days I think that people get a bit of a bad rap.  If you had to say how kind the average person is…what would your response be?  Do you think there are more people who show kindness out there than people who aren’t?  I’m not sure that people realise how many people there are who do….

But then someone comes along who shows how kind a stranger can be…

So today I want to share with you my experience…of a moment when I needed a kindness shown to me more than ever…and how it showed up in the most unexpected way…watch the video now to see more…

This is exactly the reason that I try to show kindness wherever I go…and the reason I encourage others to to….and here it is the card where I got to pay this kindness back…

Paying a kind act back, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

Could you be this kind?

So take a moment this week to ask yourself…could you show this sort of kindness to others in your life?  To family, to friends, even to complete strangers…and how would you feel as a result?  How much would it enrich YOUR life from being that kind?

…and if you enjoyed the story then please take a moment share it to inspire others to share kindness with others too, and see how kind you can inspire them to be!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Are men and women really the same deep down inside?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stIt has not been a great week at this end.  Unfortunately my whole family has managed to get a very nasty virus that has taken us all out of commission for several days.  So I was wondering this morning how I was going to get this week’s video done to share with you.

Since I’ve started doing these weekly videos the feedback has been great…in fact the one comment that I get on a regular basis is “Can you please do more videos?!”  So I listened…and last week I finished up in the studio completing my first video course, which I’m really excited to share with you.

So this week as I’m listening to my body (which is telling me that rest, and lots of it, is what I need right now) I thought that it would be nice to share with you a teeny tiny glimpse of the video course so that you still get your weekly dose of Feminine 1st video fabulousness.

So this week I wanted to share with you the answer to a very simple question.  Deep down inside, are men and women really the same?

Watch the video to find out the answer…

As always I’d love to find out what your thoughts are on this…so please leave me a comment below or get in touch with me via Facebook or Twitter.

There are some exciting things coming in the next few weeks that I can’t wait to share with you…so I guess the virus is my body’s way of ensuring that I’m well rested for them!

Wishing you an amazing week,

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

The Magnetism of the Masculine and the Feminine

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday I want to share with you about the magnetic qualities of the masculine and feminine and how important they are to creating that real passion, desire and attraction within relationships.

We look at the consequences of feminine women being completely in their masculine, masculine men being completely in their feminine, people neutralising themselves…and also what can happen when we get someone who lives in their feminine coming together with someone who lives in their masculine.

Watch the video to find out all about it…

It’s also important to remember that masculine doesn’t have to mean a man and feminine doesn’t have to mean a woman…it’s possible for a man to be more feminine at his core and for a woman to be more masculine, although it is more rare.  As long as you have a strong feminine energy and a strong masculine energy, whether that’s between a man and a woman, a woman and a man, two men, two women…it doesn’t matter…you’ll feel that magnetic pull.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the magnetism of the masculine and the feminine,  so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you are a single woman, I have a little gift for you….I am running some free webinars on “Femininity for the Single Woman” in the coming weeks…click here for all the details: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-ffsw/

The importance of polarity in relationships


I’ve had a lot of fun and games this week with various timezones…and in the midst of it all I had a great conversation on a radio show based out of LA and I wanted to share with you the discussion we had…watch the video to find out more…

You can listen to or download the MP3 of the show here: http://clicky.me/79KF

I’d love to know your thoughts are on the importance of polarity in relationships, so please leave me a comment below and share what you think…

…Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

femininity single woman

Femininity for the Single Woman…

femininity single womanWhen you start focusing on your femininity, it can be a bit of a challenge.

If you’re in a relationship it can be tough to step back and give the man in your life space to step into the masculine role.

If you’re not in a relationship it can be even harder, as there is no-one there to take on those masculine traits and step into the space that you’re creating.

You’re independent.

You’re strong.

You’re used to handling everything yourself.

So when a man does come along, it can be very hard to step back and relinquish some control when you’re so used to doing it all on your own.

How can you prepare yourself to become a partnership, when you’re used to running the show by yourself?

The first step is to stop doing it all yourself.

I know that you CAN do it all yourself…but does that mean that you WANT to?

Allow yourself to let others help you, more specifically the men in your life.

Male friends, male family members…if you could use a little help with things, then ask for it. If you make them feel needed the men in your life will be more than happy to help out.

The other thing is to get used to relinquishing control.

Take up a hobby where you have to step completely into your feminine…and simultaneously allow a man to take the lead.

A great example is dancing…such as salsa or ballroom.

As a salsa teacher myself, I know that if both the man and the woman are trying to lead, it doesn’t work.

In order for salsa to flow, one partner has to take the lead, the other has to follow.

When salsa is at it’s best, the man is leading, the woman is following.

The man is the frame, the woman is the picture.

The man provides the structure, the woman provides the beauty.

It requires trust.

For the woman it requires a belief that the man will step forward and take the lead.

For the man it requires a belief that the woman will step back and let him take the lead.

As a woman and a follower it requires letting go of the control we’ve been used to and going with the flow.

It’s important to remember that this doesn’t mean that the man is doing all the work.  Definitely not.  It’s a dance, a balance.   When dancing women need to provide some strength, resistance and assistance to the process, otherwise it doesn’t work.  Likewise she needs to be signalling that she’s ready for the move that’s coming (because trust me…a quadruple spin if you’re not ready or paying attention isn’t likely to work out too well!!)

Both in salsa and in life, learning to follow can be a challenge when you’re used to taking the lead all the time. But when you step back and let it happen, it can be fantastic.

Sometimes though, in order to move things along quickly, the ladies decide that they are going to ‘help’. Unfortunately they do this by taking over the lead and doing it all themselves…and the guys just have to watch, then try to catch up.

If this happens, the man never learns how to lead, and the woman never learns how to follow….they’re both just going through the motions.

Have you ever been in a relationship which has felt like this?

Neither get to really experience and enjoy the dance…it either becomes a battle (with both sides trying to lead) or the roles end up the wrong way around with the woman ‘back leading’ the dance and the man trying to keep up.

One question I get asked regularly, both from a femininity point of view and from teaching salsa is “What if he doesn’t take the lead?”

You will see it more obviously with salsa, but it’s true in both situations.

The simple answer is that if you show that you are ready and want him to make the move and then you don’t move, when he tries to lead…then he will know that he’s not being clear enough with his lead.

Firstly, you need to indicate that you are ready, in a way that is clear to him, in order for him to understand the move is his (there are a number of different ways of doing this, both in dancing and in life).

Once you’ve done this, if he’s trying to lead you to do something on the dancefloor, and it’s just not happening, he’ll understand that he’s not being clear enough with the lead he’s making.

If this happens a few times, he’ll soon work out that he needs to really step forward and take the lead in order to get the result he wants.

It might take a little time, but if you really step back and give him the space to lead (and let him know that it’s OK that it doesn’t work first time!  Have a laugh about it with him, smile!), he will soon step forward and learn how to do it so that you can both get the results that you want.

…and when he does, the best thing to do is to encourage and support him.

He might not get it right the first time, but with the space and support of a great partner, you’ll soon be dancing beautifully together.

The dance is all about balance…and the best way to find the balance?  Play with it! Have fun with it! Try different things, see what works and what doesn’t.

As a single girl, doing a hobby like this regularly will mean that you will get used to stepping back and handing the lead over to someone else (specifically a man). Which will make doing it in life so much easier…

Plus you can get fit and have fun in the process…it’s win-win!

Oh and remember that you only have 2 days left of the exclusive Feminine 1st subscriber offer! Be sure to get in before the offer ends on Sunday, as I wouldn’t want you to miss out! 🙂  If you don’t have any clue what I’m talking about, then put your name and email address into the pink box near the top of the page and I will send you all the details…!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

what did the men have to say

So what did the guys have to say?

what did the men have to saySo…what did the guys have to say when we asked them about femininity?

Well..in true Feminine 1st fashion I shall be enlisting the help of the family fortunes sound effects to assist me in demonstrating the results. So when you see the play arrow after the words “Our survey said…” hit it to see what the result was!

So…the first question on our survey was “How would you describe a feminine woman?” Obviously I don’t have space to share all of the answers the guys sent through here…but I wanted to share a couple of them that I thought you would find interesting:

A feminine woman is warm, vibrant, lively, passionate, loving, youthful, creative, spontaneous.

A feminine woman is in touch with her interconnectivity with all. She is unconditional with her love and confident in her femininity. Her power shows up through her gentle, caring nature, her inner beauty, her ability to see the whole play. Her strength shows up in times of crisis when she’s the first with a bandage, the first to comfort and console, the last to complain about her own circumstances. She is selfless and graceful, elegant and subtle, gentle and powerful, warrior like in times of need, earth mother to children of all ages.

A feminine women is a women who takes care about herself and others by pleasing the body, mind and spirit.

Fantastic guys! That most definitely requires a:

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We then asked if they thought feminine = weak and our survey said…

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100% of the men said they disagreed with the fact that feminine = weak. Brilliant 😀

Next we asked if they found femininity in a woman attractive…and our survey said…

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A whopping 100% of the guys agreed that femininity was attractive to them. Not a big surprise to me as most of the men who have spoken to me about femininity have said how attractive a woman is who is confident and comfortable in her femininity…glad to see the survey has confirmed the same! 🙂

So next we ask what were the positive aspects of feminine women. Again, there were too many answers to list here in full, but I’ve pulled out a selection of answers:

Willingness to lead by letting go of the control strings in a situation

Strength, confidence, elegance, unconditionality, selflessness

Inspiration, Harmony, Balance, Joy, Life, energetic, powerful, Emotion, Love, Connection

Intelligence, kindness, energy, sympathy, competence, vulnerability, strength, weakness, ambition, honesty, loads of good qualities.

Her attitude. Her presence. Her natural ability to be.

I couldn’t agree more guys.

So…we then asked them what they thought the negative aspects of feminine women (as if there were such a thing! 😉 ) and I found the results very interesting. Here is a selection:

None.

Lack of focus

Some use it as a tool to get what she wants or plays games with it

None. People are best to be how they are.

Femininity in the modern age has been misinterpreted and has limited women from being embraced in their full expression.

I have to say, I agreed with most of the answers that came in on this topic.

For example, the suggestion that some women use it as a tool to get what they want is an example of the “Fake Feminine” which I talked about in a recent blog post (not actually authentic feminine, but I can understand why it’s been given as an example of the negative side of things). I also wanted to say how much I agree with the last of the comments I’ve included. I couldn’t agree more that there are a lot of misperceptions and misunderstandings about femininity which have prevented women from embracing it and enjoying it fully. Luckily we’re here to help dispel some of those myths 😉

So then we asked whether the guys thought feminine women could be successful in business…and our survey said…

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A huge 89% of the guys agreed that feminine women could be successful in business.

I couldn’t agree more…I believe men and women both have the ability to be successful in business, but the approach for a feminine woman is just different. When someone is true to themselves and being authentic, they are more likely to be successful in their endeavours than if they are forcing things or trying to be someone they are not.

Next we asked if the guys respected feminine women…and there was no debate at all!

Our survey said…

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100% agreed that they respect feminine women…fabulous!

We then asked whether they would like the women in their life to be more feminine and our survey said…

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89% of the men who responded confirmed that they would like the women in their life to be more feminine…which matches up very well with our female survey where the majority of the women confirmed that they would like to be perceived as more feminine by other people. It’s good to know we’re all on the same page! 😀

So then we asked the boys what aspect of a woman affects how feminine she is most.

As with the ladies there was more of an even split on this one, but mindset still came out on top with 56% of the vote. Appearance and Behaviour both scored 22%. As we mentioned in the last survey results, they can all have an affect on how feminine a woman feels but as the mindset is the key to both how a woman behaves and her appearance, I would have to agree with the majority here and say that mindset plays the biggest part.

When we asked for some examples of women in the public eye who the guys think are good examples of feminine women there was no stopping them!! The list is HUGE…so I will only list some of them here…and also point out that there were some similarities with the answers the ladies gave: Sophia Loren, Kate Middleton, Princess Diana, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Anniston, Anne Hathaway…I could be here for a long time listing them all!

As a final note I asked the guys if they had any other comments to add…and I wanted to share a couple of these with you:

Thanks for asking the guys!

I prefer women who use their feminine sides full on but also balance in their masculine energy to be COMPLETE women.

I believe that femininity is a quality, something to celebrate and respect.

More please! 😉

I have to say that balance is essential to any part of life, and something which I will be covering in one of my blog posts in the next couple of weeks.

…and I’m not sure if the “more please!” refers to femininity or the content on the site…but either way you won’t be disappointed! 🙂

I wanted to say thank you so much to the men who took the time to respond to these questions and give us their opinions. It has been great to see how in sync the answers from the men and the women have been. I’m sure it will be interesting for the women reading this blog to see how the guys have responded.

So thanks again for the nudge to get you guys involved!

…and to the ladies, I hope the synchronicity of the answers between the men and the women has been as nice for you to see as it has been for me!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

lets ask the men

Time to ask the boys…

lets ask the menWell it seems that I might have put the cat amongst the pigeons a couple of weeks ago by asking the women what they thought about Femininity but not asking the men…

My first thought when the guys pointed this out was that the reason for the first survey was to ensure that the content of the coming blog posts are relevant to the ladies around the world that will be reading them…

Now don’t tell them that I said this, but I really wasn’t sure that we really needed any input from the men (at this point). BUT, I have to admit, the more that I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that getting the male perspective on femininity (and by extension masculinity) will be very interesting for both me and you ladies who are following the blog.

So, thanks go out to the guys who have given me a cheeky nudge to let them have their say…I think that getting both sides of the story at this stage is a GREAT idea! 😀

I’ve put together some questions below for the guys to respond to and I would like to ask you to please pass these on to any men you know to get their honest opinions. Tell them it will take just a few minutes to complete, that all answers will be completely confidential, and that they will have my unending gratitude for helping us out!

Stay Fabulous! X