A point, which is often raised when I’m discussing femininity, is “what happens when the unpleasant stuff hits the fan?” When things seem stacked against you and you’re really up against it, we often feel that we need step into our masculine in order to cope.
For years this was my primary coping mechanism for tough times…I didn’t believe there was any other way that would work.
As a result, when I started really focusing on and embracing my femininity, I found that difficult situations were my nemesis…
It was habit for me to toughen up and take control during these situations and initially it felt counter-intuitive to take a softer approach.
At times you may have experienced this too.
So I thought that my experience this morning might be helpful for you to hear.
It’s not always easy writing about personal experiences…especially when those experiences are challenging and painful…but if it helps you, it’s worth it.
At the moment there are some significant challenges in my life. The biggest one being that my partner has a serious but as yet undiagnosed medical condition, a condition that is getting worse. Among other things it meant that he spent most of New Year’s Eve in bed in pain rather than celebrating with me 🙁
He has been experiencing symptoms for nearly 7 months, and things are becoming more acute on a weekly, if not daily, basis. This morning it was bad again…and I felt completely overwhelmed.
I needed to talk to my partner about the things that were on my mind.
In my former life this is the point at which I would have stepped, both feet first, into my masculine and tried to take control of everything. I would have been forceful about the way I thought things should be done and I’m sure I would have come across as being dominant or critical.
However since reconnecting with my feminine, I have discovered a different approach.
Today I didn’t hold back and I didn’t push either.
I just let myself explain the way I was feeling, why I was feeling it and what I needed.
I was completely vulnerable, and shed more than a few tears.
It was one of those moments where we could both see the massive difference that this new approach is having in our lives.
Where previously there would have been a battleground, the lines of communication were now open and free flowing.
Instead of feeling criticised, my partner was able to see me and understand how I was feeling.
We didn’t shout. We didn’t battle. We were able to talk about it openly.
We were on the same side.
I poured my heart out, and with a relatively quick, open conversation we were able to find a solution to the immediate problems.
More importantly I gave him the information he needed (and the space) to step forward and help me through a time where I was feeling overwhelmed.
A short while later I was back to work, with a smile on my face and a sense that everything was on track and manageable again.
Sometimes, even when you don’t think something will work, it’s worth giving it a go.
You’ve no idea the difference it could make…