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Does Pink = Feminine?

does pink = feminineWhen I’m out and about I often hear comments about the fact that I wear a lot of pink. Most places I go, someone will smile and make a remark that I often have something pink on my person.

I also hear comments about my shoes (both colour and style) and the fact that I’m rarely seen without a pair of stilettos.

….and I’m often asked how important it is to “wear dresses”, “do my makeup” or “do my hair”.

A short while ago I wrote an article that was prompted by an email I’d received from a reader, asking whether black girls could even be feminine…and in the same email I was asked “How important is it to dress feminine?’ …I realised it’s obviously a question that people are currently asking.

What is looking feminine?

So I thought it was about time I wrote about this…and the importance of your outside appearance to ‘being feminine’.

Looking ‘feminine’ and being feminine are not the same thing.

Looking ‘feminine’ is based on an outdated idea that what you put on the outside is what matters. That wearing something designates you as feminine, or masculine….or any other label of your choice.

Let me ask you a question…. Do you think that Sylvester Stallone in a pink dress would look feminine? I doubt it very much. Because regardless of what you put on the outside, if it doesn’t affect what’s happening on the inside it’s purely superficial.

Does Pink = Feminine?

It’s widely accepted these days that pink is a colour more closely associated with girls, and blue is more closely associated with boys….but for a large number of years it was actually more popular for this to be the other way around. In 1905 Time Magazine made it clear that pink was the boys’ colour and blue was the girls’.

So does Pink = Feminine? No.

Do Dresses = Feminine? No.

Do High Heeled Shoes = Feminine? No.

Does Makeup = Feminine? No.

Do certain hairstyles = Feminine? No.

Does ANYTHING external = Feminine? No.

I can almost hear you saying, “But Claire, what about boobs? Surely they are external, and they must = Feminine?”….well, actually no, they don’t. Although the majority of women tend more to the feminine and the majority of men to the masculine, it’s not true for all of them. So it’s perfectly possible to have beautiful boobs, and still to be more masculine….so sorry, that doesn’t apply either.

So can what you wear affect how feminine you are?

So why do I wear a lot of pink? Simple – it’s one of my favourite colours. There’s nothing more to it than that (…and that when I’m somewhere associated with my business I like to wear my brand colours…the fact that they’re my favourite colours is a fabulous bonus!). It’s rare you’ll see me in baby pink…I’m a fuschia kinda girl – It’s bright, fun and has an energy about it that matches my personality.

Likewise I feel as feminine (if not maybe more so) when I’m as naked as the day I was born…though it’s not a look I tend to sport on my regular trips to London, or events I’m working at!

I have hot pink shoes, scarves, dresses, even nail colours…why? Because I like them 🙂

Does wearing pink make me more or less feminine? Not because of the colour, not at all.

But it can have an effect.

Because I love the colour, when I wear it, it lifts me. I feel more playful, fun and energetic in it than I would do in grey or brown for example.

In the same way, when I have a flowing dress on I feel great. I love the feeling of the material moving across my skin.

On the flip side, my sister hates the colour pink. If she was wearing a pink dress I can guarantee she wouldn’t be feeling more playful, fun and energetic…she’d probably be feeling irritated, annoyed and like she couldn’t get it off fast enough. So would wearing pink help her connect with her feminine? I don’t think so.

The key is, does it affect how it makes you FEEL?

Because femininity comes from a feeling…It comes from the inside out.

If it makes you FEEL more feminine, then you will naturally BE more feminine.

When you feel more feminine, you connect with aspects of the feminine. You might feel more playful, more emotionally connected, more in flow, more inspired or that you’re being more of who you really are.

So, am I the person you should model to be feminine? Only if my flavour of femininity works for you too.

I won’t ever tell you what to wear, how to do your makeup, what style to cut your hair in or what you must do in order to be feminine…because quite simply, I don’t know.

I can’t tell you what your flavour of femininity looks, sounds, or feels like…because it’s whatever makes you feel most feminine.

I can give you ideas, suggestions and guidance along the way…but ultimately it’s something that you get to discover for yourself, in the same way as I did.

Because as I’ve said before, your femininity is just that YOUR femininity. It’s as unique as you are.

Finding out what your flavour of femininity is can be a really fun journey.

…and I’m delighted I get to be a part of yours.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

But I'm not pink and fluffy

But I’m not pink and fluffy!

But I'm not pink and fluffyOne of the comments that I often hear when discussing the topic of femininity is “But femininity is all about being pink, fluffy and girly…and that’s just not me…so I’m not feminine”.

I’m curious as to where this concept of feminine = pink and fluffy came from. Do you know? The reason I ask is that whenever I ask for celebrity examples of feminine women, there’s not a pink or fluffy person among them.

As you may know, recently I did surveys of both women and men to get their thoughts and ideas on femininity.

As part of the survey I asked for ladies in the public eye that are good examples of feminine women.

The list of examples was wide and varied, and I couldn’t possibly include them all here (you’d be here all week reading them!) But there were a few women who were mentioned frequently by both the men and the women.

These three ladies were Kate Winslet, Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton.

The first think to note is that not one of these ladies could be described as pink, or fluffy.

The second thing is that they are all vastly different to each other. We have an Oscar winning Hollywood sweetheart, the international queen of burlesque and England’s newest Princess.

I don’t think that many people would describe Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton as being particularly alike!

So if these ladies are all great examples of feminine women, and they are all so different, what is it that they have in common?

What makes them good examples of feminine women?

One word.

Authenticity.

They are being totally true to themselves. Their words, actions, image, behaviour, are all completely aligned.

The thing to remember is that femininity is not one-size-fits-all. It is completely and totally unique to each woman, because each woman is completely and totally unique.

You don’t have to dress a certain way to be feminine.

You don’t have to do your hair and make up a certain way to be feminine.

You don’t have to act a certain way.

You don’t have to say certain things.

Femininity is not something that you put on, like a favourite dress or pair of shoes.

It is something that radiates from the inside out.

If you really are feminine inside, what’s on the outside doesn’t matter at all…people will see it. And vice versa.

If a masculine woman walked into a room in a pink dress covered in lace, people would still see that she was masculine at her core because the packaging doesn’t change who she is inside.

If a feminine woman walked into a room in jeans, a T-shirt and trainers with her hair scraped back and no makeup at all, it wouldn’t matter…people would see the femininity radiating through.

Femininity is a state of mind, a state of being.

…no pink or fluffy required.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x