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You get out what you put in - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st

What’s the difference between masculine and feminine presence?

What's the difference between Masculine & Feminine Presence? - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stOne of the most important things when you’re interacting with people is to be present.

Whether it’s at work, with friends, family or your intimate partner, everyone wants you to be present with them.

In this world of constant distraction it’s unusual for someone to be completely and totally present without something being able to draw their attention away…whether it’s a phone, a laptop, a blackberry…it’s easy for something to beep and our presence to disappear.

So we want to know how we can bring more of our presence to other people, but are you aware that there’s a difference between masculine presence and feminine presence?

I’ve never heard anyone else sharing about this, so I’m really excited to be telling you about it today…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So do you know the difference between masculine and feminine presence?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership.

You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out what the difference between masculine presence and feminine presence…

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

10 ways to quickly move from your head to your heart…

Woman Gift From Your Head to Your HeartDo you know how to get from your head to your heart?

Women these days tend to spend a lot of time in their heads.

We have so much to do and we are trying to wear so many different hats that we end up go to our heads to try and make sense of it all and keep a handle on things, but there’s so much going on that we tend to stay there.

It’s important to be conscious of the reason we end up in our heads.

We don’t arrive there naturally; it’s the place we end up when we are coming from a place of fear, insecurity, lack or stress.

Now, call me crazy but in my experience the holiday season can often bring with it a fair share of stress.

Between buying and wrapping Christmas presents, writing cards, shopping for food, cooking more Turkey than is humanly possible to eat (unless you’re a veggie like me…in which case replace Turkey with roast potatoes), visiting family and friends, Christmas parties, the pressure of what to do New Year’s Eve…the list goes on.

In fact, here in the UK 59% of women suffer high stress levels in the week before Christmas…which is also the worst week for sleep deprivation.

Why do you need to know how to move from your head to your heart?

Generally speaking, under stress the feminine moves from heart to head and the masculine moves from heart to the genital area…which is why we respond so differently to stressful situations…the key to finding the solutions is often to figure out how to come back to the heart.

There is a place for the head, we need both head and heart to get by in life, but when the head gets into overwhelm it stops being effective and ends up caught in unproductive and often self-destructive loops that get you nowhere and drive you crazy.

But when you get into the heart the noise gets quieter, the merry-go-round stops spinning and you get to just feel.

Often when we feel into a situation we get connected back to our intuition, which will guide us in the right direction compared with our overwhelmed minds.

So today my Christmas gift to you is ten ways to quickly move from your head to your heart:

  1. Breathe – When we get stressed and into head space, we often find that our breathing gets shallower and faster. As our stress goes up, our heart race increases and our breathing quickens. So stopping and taking 10 deep diaphragmatic breaths will give you a moment to put the head on pause and move into the body in the direction of the heart.
  2. Music – We all know that music is very emotionally charged…put on the right song and you can find yourself ready to take on the world, totally chilled out or close to tears. So listen to a song that you have a strong positive emotional connection to for a instant drop from your head to your heart. A piece that reminds you of a special time, a special place, a special person…anything that puts a smile on your face and makes you want to sing is usually a good option!
  3. Gratitude – We all know that you cannot simultaneously experience gratitude and fear or gratitude and stress…so by focusing on what we’re grateful for will be able to drop out of our stress (and in turn the head space), and back into our heart space.
  4. Movement – In order to get out of your head and into your heart, one of the best routes is via your body, so any way to physically feel your body moving whether through dancing, yoga or another form of movement will definitely help.
  5. Focus and intention – Taking the conscious choice to move your focus from what is causing you stress to what will make you feel more connected to your heart, and setting an intention to maintain that connection sounds simple and yet can pave the way for your subconscious to follow.
  6. Be present to the moment – Often when we’re in our heads, we’re focusing on one of two things; the past or the future. We’re worrying about what has happened, or what is going to (or not going to). Simply focusing on the present moment, what’s happening in the here and now, in as much detail as possible is one of the fastest routes from your head to your heart.
  7. Get in touch with your senses – When you’re focusing on the present moment, be sure to do so with all of your senses…what can you see, what can you hear, what can you smell, taste and feel? When you start to use all of your senses more, the sensations you are experiencing will be enhanced and enriched…getting you more into your body which will pave the way from your head to your heart.
  8. Mentally hang up on the voice in your head – Quite often when you want to move from your head to your heart there is a little voice in your mind that keeps drawing you back again. It’s usually the voice of fear, or of insecurity, and can be your own worst enemy. One of the simplest ways to deal with this voice is to imagine that it’s on the other end of a phone. Mentally see yourself with the phone in your hand, simply saying “No thanks, I’m not interested”…and then hanging the phone up.
  9. Meditation – There’s not a lot to keep you in your head when all is quiet and peaceful there, so to get from your head to your heart a great starting place is to quieten the mind. Taking a small amount of time each day (it can be only 5 minutes to start with) to close your eyes, focus on nothing but your breath, and whenever a thought comes up allow it to just drift away can help you begin the shift.
  10. Love unconditionally – To move from your head to your heart, the quickest and simplest way is to focus on being loving. Not to get anything in return, or because you should…just because you can. …and the best place to start with this? Yourself. Remember that you are enough and love yourself just the way you are. It’s the expressway from your head to your heart. The more you can learn to come from this loving place with everyone…your intimate partner, your friends, family, colleagues, and most importantly, yourself, the less time you’ll spend in your head…and the more you’ll spend in your heart.

To be honest, anything that really brings you back to your feminine will bring you out of your head and into your heart as that’s where the feminine naturally lives.

So the question is ‘what makes YOU feel more feminine’…because if you’re FEELING feminine…you’re already in your heart.

And this is my Christmas gift to you…the ability to quickly and effortlessly move from your head to your heart, whenever you wish to.

Merry Christmas….remember to stay fabulous when moving from your head to your heart!

Claire x

Do you give the gift of your presence?

EyesWe all know that women are masters of multitasking…and with life the way that it is these days it’s a good thing too!

We always have so much on our minds…we have an ever-growing ‘to do’ list and our we are often thinking three steps ahead of where we actually are.

This is the lifestyle that so many of us have got used to.

When we’re doing our hair in the morning, we’re thinking of the things that we need to buy when we’re next at the supermarket.

As we’re driving to work we’re mentally creating our to-do list of things that need doing around the house.

When we’re in a meeting we have half of our mind on the email we need to remember to send when we get back to our desks.

We’ve got so used to splitting our attention and focusing on lots of things at once that it’s very easy to miss what’s going on in the moment.

How many times have you got to the end of a car journey and thought “I can’t remember half of what happened on the road”.

The answer is probably ‘too many’.

How often have you been asked a question in a meeting and had to fumble through an answer because you weren’t really listening to what was being said?

The answer is likely to be ‘more than I’d like to admit’.

Have you ever started a sentence and forgotten half way through what you were going to say because you got distracted with another thought along the way?

The chances are the answer is ‘Yes’. I know I have.

We spend so much time bouncing between the different thoughts and ideas in our own minds that we often don’t fully experience the situation that we’re in.

When we do this we’re cheating ourselves from really enjoying and experiencing fully the moment that we’re in.

This is not only a challenge for you, but also for those who you spend time with.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone when in the middle of you saying something they check their phone / watch / laptop?

I’m guessing the odds are pretty high.

How did you feel in that moment?

Unimportant?

Insignificant?

Lower in priority than something else on their mind?

It would be perfectly understandable if you did.

Not only that, but it’s more than likely that by being distracted, they might have actually missed out on something you said that could have been important or of value to them.

In those moments, I’m guessing that all you really wanted from the person that you were with was their undivided attention. Their time, their understanding, their presence.

…and if this is what you want from the people in your life, do you think it might be what they want from you?

So when you’re taking time for someone who means something to you…whether that’s a friend, partner, family member, colleague remember to give them the gift of your presence.

Really be there in that moment with them.

Leave the phone where it is. Ignore Facebook. Resist the temptation to check your email.

Give them your attention and your focus. Actively listen to what they have to say.

It will have a huge impact on your relationship with them, as they will feel that you are really ‘being there’ for them and that they have your full attention and support.

Also, they may have something to say that is really important for you to hear…it might seem small at the time, but if you don’t hear it then the moment has passed….and it won’t come around again.

All we can ever be sure of in life is this moment right now. Make the most of it. Give the gift of your presence both to yourself and to the people around you…you’ll be surprised the difference it will make.

Stay fabulous,

Claire x