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What's the one thing you need to know to resolve conflict in all of your relationships? - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stLet’s face it, when you bring two people together for any period of time, sooner or later there is going to be a difference of opinion.

I’ve not yet heard of two people anywhere who always think the exact same thing, at the exact same time with no variance whatsoever.

..and so regardless of whether the relationships are intimate relationships, business relationships, family relationships or friendships, there is going to come a point in time where you have different points of view.

The man / woman divide in relationships

When it comes to relationships between a man and a woman the opportunity for a difference of opinion comes up more frequently than in relationships between men or between women, mainly because we’re so fundamentally different inside.

We think differently.

We have different motivations.

We feel differently.

We have different priorities.

We have different fears, worries and concerns.

We have different approaches.

We have different meanings for the same words.

In fact, it’s a wonder that we agree on anything!

But it’s not just relationships between men and women that have problems!

As I’m sure you know, it’s not just relationships between men and women where you can have differences of opinion that lead to problems.

Though they might not happen as often, these can happen in relationships between women and between men…it’s natural when you bring two different people together.

Now, if we lived in a culture where we all enlightened and took the approach of accepting and respecting that we all have slightly different points of view, without taking it personally or allowing it to cause conflict in our relationships…we’d be fine.

Unfortunately, this isn’t often the case.  

Often when someone has a different point of view there’s an assumption that they believe we’re ‘wrong’ and so we defend our point of view to show them otherwise.  Or otherwise we feel that they just don’t understand our point of view, so we take it upon ourselves to explain (sometimes forcefully and in a lot of detail!) what we mean, because if they understood it, they’d agree with us, right?

The downside of this, as I’m sure you’ve experienced at some point is that a difference of opinion can quickly switch to a debate, conflict, arguement…or worse!

In my experience, knowing the one thing that can help reduce, or resolve conflicts in any and all kinds of relationships is pretty helpful…because you can use it any time a difference of opinion comes up, to prevent the conflict before it even begins.

So today I want to share with you this nugget that has transformed challenges in my own personal relationships, and that I share with anyone I work with who is having challenges in their relationship…

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So how do you use this to resolve conflict in any and all kinds of relationships?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

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Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

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when the going gets tough the tough get feminineA point, which is often raised when I’m discussing femininity, is “what happens when the unpleasant stuff hits the fan?” When things seem stacked against you and you’re really up against it, we often feel that we need step into our masculine in order to cope.

For years this was my primary coping mechanism for tough times…I didn’t believe there was any other way that would work.

As a result, when I started really focusing on and embracing my femininity, I found that difficult situations were my nemesis…

It was habit for me to toughen up and take control during these situations and initially it felt counter-intuitive to take a softer approach.

At times you may have experienced this too.

So I thought that my experience this morning might be helpful for you to hear.

It’s not always easy writing about personal experiences…especially when those experiences are challenging and painful…but if it helps you, it’s worth it.

At the moment there are some significant challenges in my life. The biggest one being that my partner has a serious but as yet undiagnosed medical condition, a condition that is getting worse. Among other things it meant that he spent most of New Year’s Eve in bed in pain rather than celebrating with me 🙁

He has been experiencing symptoms for nearly 7 months, and things are becoming more acute on a weekly, if not daily, basis. This morning it was bad again…and I felt completely overwhelmed.

I needed to talk to my partner about the things that were on my mind.

In my former life this is the point at which I would have stepped, both feet first, into my masculine and tried to take control of everything. I would have been forceful about the way I thought things should be done and I’m sure I would have come across as being dominant or critical.

However since reconnecting with my feminine, I have discovered a different approach.

Today I didn’t hold back and I didn’t push either.

I just let myself explain the way I was feeling, why I was feeling it and what I needed.

I was completely vulnerable, and shed more than a few tears.

It was one of those moments where we could both see the massive difference that this new approach is having in our lives.

Where previously there would have been a battleground, the lines of communication were now open and free flowing.

Instead of feeling criticised, my partner was able to see me and understand how I was feeling.

We didn’t shout. We didn’t battle. We were able to talk about it openly.

We were on the same side.

I poured my heart out, and with a relatively quick, open conversation we were able to find a solution to the immediate problems.

More importantly I gave him the information he needed (and the space) to step forward and help me through a time where I was feeling overwhelmed.

A short while later I was back to work, with a smile on my face and a sense that everything was on track and manageable again.

Sometimes, even when you don’t think something will work, it’s worth giving it a go.

You’ve no idea the difference it could make…

Stay fabulous,

Claire x