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Do you let a man have time in his cave?

Man CaveAs we’ve established recently, men and women are fundamentally different.

We have different ways of doing things, different languages, different needs.

A lot of the challenges that arise between men and women come from the simple mistake of expecting them to behave like we do…to want what we want, need what we need, understand what we understand.

So today I want to share with you about another fundamental difference between men and women, which is crucial for you to understand.

Getting the importance of ‘the cave’ could be the lifeline in your relationship.

As you probably know by now, my work is informed from a wide range of sources.  I read a lot of books, go to a lot of seminars, listen to a lot of audio programs and create a huge amount myself.

I first heard about ‘the cave’ in John Gray’s ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. I don’t necessarily subscribe to everything that John shares in this book, as is often the case I took from it the pieces that resonated with me, and evolved them – combining them with my own ideas and ones from other sources.

But the basic concept of the cave is so important that I wanted to share it with you, and I always like to give credit when something I share relates to someone else’s work.

As we know from the definition of masculinity, one of the key aspects of the masculine is independence.

Especially when it comes to times of stress or challenge the masculine will tend towards taking time and space by himself to work through or figure out the situation…whereas the feminine in the same situation tends to prefer to connect with others, share their problems and get support.

It’s at times like this that a man will often retreat into his ‘cave’.

So what is the cave?

The cave is simple time and space for him.

Time and space to be on his own.

Time and space for his thoughts.

Time and space where he doesn’t have to say anything, do anything or be anything.

Time and space where he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else.

Time and space for him to do what he wants and needs to do.

A lot of the time men feel a huge amount of pressure.  They feel responsible, they feel that they need to provide, they feel that they need to protect, they feel they need to be everything that you need, regardless of what’s going on for them.

Imagine that this responsibility is like a Knight’s tools of the trade.  It’s the armour to protect themselves and others, it’s the sword and shield to protect and provide…these things all carry a weight.

So time in their cave is time for them to put down the weight they’re carrying for a short time.

To feel free of responsibility, to feel free to be able to do whatever they need to without being afraid that it will affect you or anyone else in a negative way.

The cave can be a metaphorical space, or a literal one.

Some men have a physical space that is their ‘cave’.  It could be a den, a study, an office, a shed, or even the toilet! A space in his life which is all his…he can have it exactly how he wants it and it’s a safe space where he can go anytime and not be disturbed.

What does he do in his cave?

So what is it that men do in their caves?  Well the answer is simple…anything they want to.

It could be watching TV, taking time to unwind.

It could be doing a hobby that he really enjoys and that allows him to escape from life for a little bit.

It could be playing computer games, fishing, reading the paper, pottering about on the internet, exercising.

It could be nothing….literally nothing at all.

Cave time is mostly about unplugging and decompressing.  Space if he needs it to work through his problems in his mind, or process anything that’s been happening in his life.

So how do I find out more about the cave?

Now that we understand what cave time is and what a man does in it…the next thing to understand is why is it so important…and how you can deal with it.

So next week I’ll be sharing with you why cave time is important and how to best deal with it…but most importantly I’ll be sharing with you how to make the cave time that he wants and needs work for YOU.

How you can take what at first seems like something that may be quite challenging, and instead make it something that you get as much out of as he does!

So watch out for next week’s article…and the answers that will make all the difference to your relationship…

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

 

Why isn’t my man more masculine?

Why isn't my man more masculine, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stNo matter where I go in the world, I always get asked a lot of questions.

But there are some that I hear with an alarming degree of regularity.

…and there’s one that I hear more than most.

Depending on whether a woman is single or in a relationship the question varies slightly…but the gist is the same.

For single women it’s “Why can’t I find any masculine men?”

For women in relationships it’s “Why isn’t my man more masculine?”

The essence is the same, women can’t find the masculinity that they want in the men around them.

Why aren’t our men more masculine?

Well the feminist movement had a big impact.  As women stepped into the work place, and took on the roles that had been exclusively for men, men were expected to begin taking on the roles of women.

They heard over and over again “You must get in touch with your feminine side”.

They were expected to be more ‘touchy feely”, to help out around the house, to listen, to talk more, to be more like us women.

..and they did a great job at getting in touch with their feminine side…

…the bad news is that they did such a great job that they forgot what they masculine side looked like!

The word masculine became mistakenly synonymous with macho, neanderthal…even misogynistic.

Men became less and less comfortable expressing their masculinity for fear of criticism or facing yet another emasculating comment.

But do I want my man to be more masculine?

The answer is simple.  This many women asking “why isn’t my man more masculine?” indicates that’s exactly what we want.

Feminine women are craving masculinity in their men.

They truly want their men to be able to step up and be the man so that they can finally relax and be themselves.

They don’t want to have to be in control, to take all the responsibility, to be in charge all the time.

They want a partner, someone who complements them, their opposite but equal.

…so why isn’t this happening?

Today I share with you the answer…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

 

So do you want to know more about how you can help your man to be more masculine?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership, you will also get access to all future weekly Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

The Feminine 1st Family launched fully on June 1st and therefore if you would like to continue to enjoy the new weekly videos (and request a video responding to your specific question) I am sharing a very special introductory offer until the end of June.

So click here to find out all about how to help your man be more masculine.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

How can you get the help and support you want and deserve?

How to get the help and support you wantSo last week I started to share with you the 7 key mistakes that a lot of women face when trying to get the help and support that they want and need from the men in their life.…and today I get to share with you the rest of the key mistakes AND the 3 simple steps to getting the help and support you want and need in the future:

So what are the 7 mistakes women face when trying to get help and support?

So here is the rest of the 7 key mistakes that women face when trying to get help and support from the men in their life:
  • 3. Not communicating what you want at all – For a number of reasons women don’t tend to communicate what they want.  It might be that they did it once and didn’t get the reaction they wanted so swore off doing it for the rest of their lives.  It might be that they don’t actually know what they want…so they don’t know how to ask for it (but are still unhappy when they don’t get it).  It might be that they’re afraid of communicating honestly what they want, in case they still don’t get it.  Well I’m here to let you in on a secret.  If you communicate really honestly what you want, there’s a possibility you’ll get it.  If you don’t, you pretty much guarantee that it’ll never happen.
  • 4. Communicating what you want indirectly – In a video recently I talked about ‘man language’ and ‘woman language’.  I go into it in more depth in the video, but as a reminder ‘man language’ is often about communicating simply, directly and effectively.  ‘Woman language’ often involves more indirect communication…such as trying to communicate what you want by saying what you don’t want, hinting or suggesting.  Unless you are clear and direct with what you want and need, a man won’t necessarily even understand that you’re trying to communicate this to him, as that’s not the way they naturally communicate.  If you say to a man ‘doesn’t this X look like a lovely place’, he’ll often take it at face value…rather than as a hint that maybe you’d like to go there!
  • 5. Not being consistent – If you ask for something from someone once, the chances are they might remember.  If you ask for something from someone a few times, the chances are higher that they’ll remember it.  If you ask for something from someone every week, or month, or whenever a given situation comes up then they are far more likely to realise it’s important to you and make it a priority to remember.  The more consistent you are, the easier you make it for him to meet your needs.
  • 6. Not appreciating when they do it ‘right’ – Men love to be appreciated.  In the same way as criticism cuts to the core of a man, appreciation speaks to their core in a positive way.  Remember it doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’ for you to appreciate it, if you can see he’s making the effort to help and support you in the way you’ve requested, then show him that you appreciate that.  Making a point of thanking him and showing your gratitude and appreciation when he helps and supports you in a way that you really feel helped and supported will give him the motivation and desire to it again next time!
  • 7. Not setting the game up for them to win – Men like to win, they want to make you happy, they want to be able to help and support you and feel like your hero…so help them to help you.  Set up the game so that it’s easy for them to ‘win’ at it…that they know the rules, they know how to win the points and that when they do they’ll get the ‘prize’ of your appreciation and gratitude.  If you set the game up so that it’s easy to win, they’ll want to play again and again and again…even better when they win, you win, and when you win, they win.  Who wouldn’t want to play a game when the outcome is always win-win?

So how do we get the help and support we want and need?

So now we know the 7 mistakes, how do we get the help and support we want and need?Remember to A, B, C…

  • Ask – For his help
  • Be Honest & Consistent – With what you really want and need to feel his help and support
  • Constant Appreciation – When he gives it to you

So how do I ask for the help and support I want and need?

One question that I sometimes get when I share this advice is “How do I ask him for the help and support I want and need?”  When we’re not used to asking, sometimes we’re unsure how to go about it.

You can take the approach of just ‘trying it’ and seeing what happens, starting a conversation with “Honey, I’d really like your help with something” or “Could I ask you to help me with something?” and seeing what happens.

But the alternative approach is actually to ask him how to ask him!  Simply saying to him “If I wanted your help and support with something, what would be the best way for me to ask you for it?” leaves the door wide open for him to tell you how to ask in a way that works for him.

…and you then know how to start the process the next time you want to practice your A, B, Cs…. 🙂

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Do you know how to deal with emotionally charged situations in your relationship?

Do you know how to deal with emotionally charged situations with your man? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stWhen it comes to intimate relationships, emotions are the life blood.

They are the heart and soul, the foundation, the core.

…unfortunately emotions are also one of the biggest differentiators between the masculine and feminine.

How do the masculine and feminine approach emotionally charged situations?

Emotions are a way of life for the feminine…the feminine experiences the full range of emotions, the depth, the breadth, the highs, the lows and everything in between.

Conversely, the masculine is more driven by logic.  Reason, analysis, deduction…following the rationale and making informed choice.

As we know, we all have both masculine and feminine inside us…which gives each and every one of us the ability to connect with and use both emotion and logic.

We do, however, have a tendency towards one or the other.  There is one that is more natural for us, one that is our default, one that is our core nature.

When it comes to men and women, the majority of men tend to be more masculine at their core, and the majority of women tend to be more feminine….although there are people for whom it is the other way around.

How can I deal with emotionally charged situations in my relationship?

When it comes to intimate relationships (especially during times of stress, or when there are problems occurring) having a way to navigate the differences between the masculine and feminine approaches to emotions can be essential.

Now positive emotions don’t tend to cause many problems…but when we’re dealing with more challenging emotions, it can be of huge benefit to be abel to bridge the gap between the masculine and feminine.

Because men and people who are masculine at core don’t have the same experience of emotions that feminine people do, they don’t have a frame of reference in how to deal with it.

So often when there are challenges in relationships the feminine wants to talk, to deal with the emotions….whereas the masculine wants to take a more logical approach…find the problem and fix it.

When feeling emotional the feminine often wants to feel more connected and supported, she wants to move towards her partner, to connect more, to feel like he’s there for her.  On the flip side, the masculine often prefers to have time and space to deal with challenges, to work it through in his own mind first.

If I had a pair of shoes for every woman I’ve met or connected with who has been frustrated by her partner’s need and desire to ‘fix’, or backing away when she wants him to move in and support her, I could probably wear a different pair every day for the rest of my life and still have extras to spare…

So today I want to give you a gift…a fantastic technique which has been invaluable for me personally in my own intimate relationship, and that I know has helped many others to navigate these differences in a way that works for both parties…

 

So do you want to know more about how to deal with emotionally charged situations in your relationship?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership, you will also get access to all future weekly Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

The Feminine 1st Family launched fully on June 1st and therefore if you would like to continue to enjoy the new weekly videos (and request a video responding to your specific question) I am sharing a very special introductory offer until the end of June.

So click here to find out all about how to deal with emotionally charged situations in a way that works for both you and your relationship.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Do the men in your life know how to help and support you?

Do the men in your life know how to help and support youAs I talked about in last week’s video blog, one of the biggest challenges in relationships is communication.I know from the various conversations I’ve had with women around the world, that a lot of women are frustrated that they don’t feel helped or supported enough by the man in their life.If they’re honest, these women know deep down inside that their man wants to help, and often he’s trying to help, but his way of doing it doesn’t necessarily resonate.

What does help and support look like to you?

It’s important to understand that we all have our own idea of what help and support look like.

There are some fundamental differences between the masculine and feminine in what constitutes ‘help’ or ‘support’, and there are also distinctions that are completely unique to us as individuals.

The masculine’s approach to support tends to be ‘fix it’.  Find the problem, find a solution.  Quick, efficient, effective.  Bish bash bosh…job done.

The feminine’s approach to support tends to be ‘talk about it’.  Connect with the person, share what’s going on, express how you’re feeling, see what else might be affecting the situation.  The feminine takes as much time is needed to make sure a person feels heard, that they’ve got everything off their chest, that their emotions have been expressed and that they FEEL better.  There might be a solution, there might not.  It doesn’t matter.  The only thing that matters is that they feel better about it.

The masculine can often want help in the form of space and distance, to be by themselves, to figure it out, whereas the feminine often wants to get closer to others, to feel connected and that they’re not alone.

Then there are our own individual ideas about what constitutes help and support.   For some people asking questions is helpful, because it helps them to reach their own conclusions…for others they want advice, suggestions and ideas.

Does my man even WANT to help and support me?

The frustrating thing for so many masculine men is that they not only WANT to help, they LIVE to help.  Nothing makes them happier than feeling like they are helping and supporting the women they care about….they just don’t necessarily know how.

So they help in the way that they think will help…and can often end up making things worse.

The more they try to help, the worse things get, and because they don’t want to make things worse they stop trying to help.

So if men want to help and support, and women want their help and support…surely there must be a way to make this work?

…and there is.

How can I get the help and support I want from the men in my life?

We just need to learn to bridge the gap.The gap between what we actually want and need, and what they think we want and need.There are 7 key mistakes that a lot of women face when trying to get the help and support that they want and need from the men in their life…so today I want to start to share these with you to help you get what you want and need in the future:

  1. Expecting them to read your mind – In an ideal world, where Manolo Blahniks were £10 a pair and the rivers were made of chocolate, men would automatically just ‘know’ what we want and what we need.  But we’re not living in an ‘ideal world’…I know, I’ve been looking for a £10 pair of Manolos for years.  Just because we want them to ‘know’ doesn’t mean they do.  Unfortunately they’re not just women with a couple of external amendments.  We think completely differently.  We are completely different.  If you want them to guess, the chances are that they’ll guess wrong….because they’ll guess according to the world as they see it…which is totally different to the world that you live in.
  2. Criticising them when they do it ‘wrong’ – Men don’t tend to respond well to criticism.  Actually no-one really responds well to criticism, but when you criticise a man you cut straight to his core.  Now most women think this is therefore the most effective way to communicate what they want…but in reality when you take this approach he’s likely feel attacked,  to put up the defences, and keep his distance.  When he’s in defence mode, he’s very unlikely to be taking note of your wants and desires…he’s more likely to feel like he’s been engaged in a battle, and all that matters to him in the moment is making sure he doesn’t lose.
So now I have some good news and some bad news.The good news is that there’s so much I can share with you to help you to get what you want and need in the future.The bad news is that I couldn’t fit it all into one article…so come back next week to hear the last 5 mistakes…and the 3 simple steps to getting the help and support that you want and need in the future.

Until then, stay fabulous!

Claire x

Do you realise how much emasculating men is costing you?

Do you realise how much emasculating men is costing you? Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday I want to share with you something that has personally changed my life.

Something that is important for every single woman on the planet to understand.

There is a disease that has been spreading for some time now, and it’s affecting men, women and children everywhere around the world.

What is this disease?

Emasculation.

But I’m not emasculating men…

The problem with this disease is that it’s largely being spread completely unnoticed.

We don’t realise that we’re doing it.

We don’t realise why we’re doing it.

We don’t see the impact.

But little by little it is affecting the men in our lives.

How they see us.

How we see them.

How we see ourselves.

…and it is destroying our relationships.

Am I really emasculating men?  …and if I am, does it really matter?

The answer to the first question is more than likely Yes.

But it’s become so prevalent in our society these days that we don’t even notice it.

A little joke here, a put down there.

But it doesn’t really matter does it?

Does it?

Today I share the answer with you…and you might be shocked by what I have to say…

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

So do you want to know more about how much emasculating men is costing you?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership, you will also get access to all future weekly Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

The Feminine 1st Family launched fully on June 1st and therefore if you would like to continue to enjoy the new weekly videos (and request a video responding to your specific question) I am sharing a very special introductory offer until the end of June.

So click here to find out all about emasculation, how it’s likely to be affecting your life, why we do it and most important how to begin to change it.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Do you really know your value as a woman?

Know your worth know your valueA few weeks ago I was speaking with a potential client who didn’t have the finances to work with me one-on-one, but REALLY wanted to work with me.

…and I mean REALLY wanted to work with me.

I could help her with what was a very challenging situation…she knew it and I knew it…and she desperately wanted the guidance and insights I could offer.

We spent quite some time speaking about her situation and what help and support I could provide, but the reality was she didn’t have the funds to be able to invest there and then.

A part of me felt terrible.

Here was this woman who I knew could help, who knew she needed my help and who without my help would probably struggle for a long time to come.

What was amazing was that during the conversation she said two things that set off lightbulbs in my mind.

She said that she really appreciated the value that I provide people and therefore the investment for working with me.

Then came the first lightbulb moment.

What a difference it makes to everyone when you know your value

“Claire, if you didn’t require a decent investment, people wouldn’t put a value on what you provide them and therefore they wouldn’t get any value out of it themselves”

(I’ll share the second lightbulb moment she gave me with you a little later on)

I suddenly realised that she was right.

I’d seen it in myself so many times in the past.

A friend had leant me a product for free that usually cost thousands and thousands of pounds….and it sat on the shelf because I didn’t put a high value on it…because I got it for nothing.

…and yet something that was less useful and less valuable, because I’d invested in it myself, I’d squeezed every drop out of it that I could…because I wanted to get as much value as I could.

The funny thing is that value doesn’t just mean money.

Do you know your value in relationships?

One of the most valuable things we have is time…you can always make more money, but you can’t make more time.

We add value to other people’s lives with the time we spend with them, the energy we bring to them, the advice we share, the attention when we listen to them….the ways in which we contribute, bring our value and our gifts are endless.

…and other people can bring value to our lives in return in the same huge variety of ways.

But as women we often forget our value.

We forget that just ‘being there’ for someone is of huge value.

You see, in life whenever we have an interaction with another person there is an exchange….and in order for the interactions to be fulfilling to both people there needs to be a fair exchange.

Now fair exchange doesn’t mean that we’re exchanging the same thing, or even that we’re exchanging at the same time…but there does need to be a balance of giving and receiving in order for us to feel mutually fulfilled.

So what are some examples of fair exchange?

Being there and listening to a friend when she’s having challenges, knowing she has done the same for you in the past or will do in the future. It’s not necessarily at the same time, but it will go both ways eventually.

Doing something for someone else, that makes you feel good yourself in the process of doing it. If you get ‘filled up’ by doing something nice for someone else, then you are still getting to receive as well as give…even if it’s not something that the other person is even aware of.

Giving your time to help a friend out with moving, and them giving you appreciation in return, so you feel your time and effort has been valued.

We all have our own internal barometer as to what we believe is ‘fair’ when it comes to ‘fair exchange’. Some people feel that a simple “Thank you” is all they would like in return for helping out a friend…other people would want more.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to ‘fair exchange’…but in order for it to be a fair exchange both people need to FEEL that it is in balance.

For example, have you ever had a friend where you’ve felt like all you do is give, but you never get back in return?

Where you only talk about their problems, or that they are always asking you for help, or that they never seem to be there for you when you need them?

Situations like this can make us feel drained.

We can end up feeling used, emotional, and that we just want to retreat from the other person.

These situations can damage and destroy friendships, relationships and family bonds…because we end up choosing to avoid or ignore the person rather than deal with the imbalance.

…and the chances are they aren’t even aware of the imbalance or the upset that it’s causing you, so they feel hurt and rejected because they don’t even realise that there’s a problem.

So what’s the answer?

Know your value

The answer is simply to know your value and to request what you want and need in return for the value you bring, by gently and firmly establishing your boundaries.

So as an example, when dealing with a friend who is always talking about her own problems but doesn’t seem to be interested in helping you with yours, simply say to them “I love being able to help you with the challenges you’ve got, and I really would like your help with the ones that I’m dealing with too. So how about we spend half an hour on your stuff and then half an hour on mine?”

It can be difficult at the beginning to start doing this if you’ve established a pattern with someone over a period of time, but the key is to be clear about what you want, and consistent. If you continue to ask for what you want and need, in a gentle but firm way, over time you will be able to redress the balance.

…and it’s important to recognise that some people might not have the capacity to give you what you want and need in return, for whatever reason.

At that point you can make a choice over if and how you wish to continue the relationship, knowing that you’re powerfully choosing whichever path is right for you knowing what the consequences of that will be. Either choosing to maintain the relationship knowing it doesn’t meet your needs, and finding a way to have that work for you, or choosing to reduce or end the relationship in order to not compromise your value.

So what was the second lightbulb moment when speaking with my potential client?

Then second thing she said was that she wished there was a way for her to begin to work with me for a smaller investment so that she could at least start her journey and then work her way up to the one-on-one so that she was making progress in the meantime.

This was the point at which I decided to create the Feminine 1st Family. An opportunity you to be able to begin working with me without needing to jump right into a full one-to-one package, and also putting the value for both of us onto the video content I share every week.

So why did I do this?

Because it serves us both.

By bringing value into Feminine 1st for the video content we’re sharing it sustains our business so we can continue to provide information and value to you in the future.

…and for you it puts the value on the video content that is shared so that you get as much value out of it as possible, and also provides a way in to work more closely with me without needing to jump into a complete coaching or mentoring package straight away!

…and solutions that serve everyone are the ones that I like the best 🙂

The Feminine 1st Family launched fully on Saturday and therefore if you would like to continue to receive the new weekly videos (and even to request a video responding to your specific question) I am sharing a very special introductory offer.

For June only there is an introductory special offer, which I would like to offer you today: Click here for all the details

…and this week I invite you to recognise and request your value, in every situation.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you know how to speak ‘man language’?

Do you know how to speak man language, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday marks the end of an era for Feminine 1st.

It also marks the start of a new exciting time ahead.

Today’s newsletter tells you all about what’s changing, why and how…and how a revelation for me could also be a revelation for you…so I highly recommend grabbing a cup of tea and having a read when it’s delivered to your inbox later today.

The short and sweet version is that today is the last day that the weekly Feminine 1st videos will be available to anyone who isn’t a member of the Feminine 1st Family.

The good news is that if you want to know more, and want to take advantage of the special introductory offer open only to a select group of people until midnight on Friday you can find out all of the details here.

Why do you need to know how to speak ‘man language’?

So as today will be the last weekly video that is available to non-members, I wanted to make it a particularly important one.

One of the main challenges in any kind of relationship, but especially that between a man and a woman, is communication.

A survey conducted by Your Tango last year shared that the number one reason for divorce is communication problems…and it’s not just marriages where this causes trouble.

The problem?  Because we are all using the same words, the same dialogue, the same phrases…we believe we’re speaking the same language.

The reality is that we’re not.

Men and women have fundamentally different ways of communicating, the meaning we associate with certain words and phrases can be at odds and we get frustrated when we don’t feel that we’re being understood.

So if you don’t know how to speak ‘man language’ you might as well be speaking Mandarin to a Frenchman…

So what is ‘man language’?

In today’s video I give you an overview of the difference between ‘man language’ and ‘woman language’.

There is much more detail I could go into about the certain buzz words that resonate more with men than women, noticing when he’s in the mode where ‘man language’ is essential and also the difference in how men and women communicate and process information…but I’ll save that for another time.

Today is all about awareness.

The most important thing for you to know about man language is that it exists…in the same way that woman language does too.

That just because you’re both speaking English, or French, or Italian or Dutch, does not mean you’re saying and hearing the same thing.

We all have the ability to speak both, but there is one that is our ‘native tongue’ and one that takes a little more effort on our part, to speak and to understand.

5 Minutes Men vs WomenMen-Vs-Women-EnglishThere are a plethora of ‘funnies’ that do the rounds every now and again making jokes about the differences between what women say or mean, or what men and women mean when they say the same thing, like the examples I’ve included here.

The reason that people find them funny is because we all recognise an element of truth in them.

So today I want to share with you how important understanding the difference between man language and woman language is…

So why do women need to speak ‘man language’?

The simple answer is…they don’t.

No-one needs to speak any language they don’t want to.

Women don’t need to speak man language.  Men don’t need to speak woman language.

…as long as we’re happy to live with the communication problems in relationships.

You don’t need to speak man language at all…but if you want to communicate something important to a man who is important to you…what reason is there not to?

…and the same goes for men.

Because the same principles apply for men communicating with women as for women communicating with men.

At the end of the day if we want to communicate something to someone else, no matter who they are, where they’re from or what language they speak, and them understanding what we’re saying is important to us, then it’s in OUR interests to use THEIR language 🙂

So the question is, do you want to learn to speak man language, or not?  The choice is yours…

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Did you miss the Q&A Webinar on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating & Relationships?

 The full recording of the Q&A webinar on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating & Relationships is now live, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stThe full recording of the Q&A webinar on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating & Relationships is now live!

Well it’s been an interesting couple of weeks over at Feminine 1st.

One or two little pink gremlins found their way into my system and delayed  me providing the link to the recording of the Q&A webinar that I hosted a couple of weeks ago.

I have had plenty of people reaching out to ask me when I’ll be sending it through…so I’ve been working my little tail off to make it available for you.

Did you want a question answered about femininity…?

So today I have good news! The gremlins have been evicted, the recording has been uploaded and you can now find out whether I answered your burning questions about femininity, masculinity, polarity, dating and relationships on the webinar.

So here is the full recording of the Q&A session on Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating and Relationships, in full!

I’m so grateful that knowing how busy your life is, that you want to take an hour to spend it getting your questions answered, because you understand how important the area of relationships is.  Taking some time to focus on this area can make such a difference to our lives.

So here, as promised is the full webinar where I answer as many of the questions that were sent through to me as possible in an hour, for you to watch at a time that is convenient for you.

Although the competition was live only for the duration of the calls, I highly encourage you to watch the recording in the next couple of days as today I am opening up the special bonus gift of a free one-on-one mentoring session with me for the first 5 ladies who choose to join me on my new program on how to attract the relationships that you desire and deserve via the recording.

When I refer to clicking on the banner at the top of the screen, click on this link here, it will take you to the same page.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you pop over here to sign up for the free 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love video series …and for the bonus videos that I’ve been sharing since the webinars were recorded!

…and if you’d like to set up a ‘next date’ for us to get to know each other better then click here to send me a request for a ‘soul session’ – a free 30 minute call where you get to find out a little bit more about me, I get to find out a little bit more about you, and together we can work out what the best next steps are for you.

Can’t wait to speak to you soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Are you one of the single women who requested the 7 mistakes webinar recording?

The 7 mistakes single women make when looking for loveThe full 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love webinar recording is now live!

Wow.

This last couple of weeks I have been overwhelmed with the number of women who have contacted me to say that they really want to know about the 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love but unfortunately due to work, or prior commitments the time of the Valentine’s day webinar and encore calls meant they weren’t able to join live.

So many single women these days ‘get it’

It’s amazing to know there are so many single women out there who recognise the importance of intimate relationships in our lives and want to invest the time in themselves to understand how to attract the relationship they desire and deserve.

I have never received so many emails, messages and requests for the recording of any call I’ve ever done before!

So here are the 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love, in full

I’m so grateful that knowing how busy the lives of single women are, that so many of you want to take an hour to spend it learning these 7 mistakes to transform your dating life in the way I transformed my own.

So here, as promised is the full 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love webinar for you to watch at a time that is convenient for you.

Although the competition was live only for the duration of the calls, I highly encourage you to watch the recording in the next couple of days as today I am opening up the special bonus gift of a free one-on-one mentoring session with me for the first 5 ladies who choose to join me on my new program on how to attract the relationships that you desire and deserve via the recording.

The 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you pop over here to sign up for the free video series that went with the webinar…and for the bonus videos that I’ve been sharing since the webinars were recorded!

…and if you’d like to set up a ‘next date’ for us to get to know each other better then click here to send me a request for a ‘soul session’ – a free 30 minute call where you get to find out a little bit more about me, I get to find out a little bit more about you, and together we can work out what the best next steps are for you.

Can’t wait to speak to you soon, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x