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How can you have a relationship vision and not take the masculine hunter approach to get it?

How to have a relationship vision and not approach it in a masculine way, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stLast Thursday was one of the best Valentine’s Day’s I’ve ever had.

I got to spend an evening with a man who makes me feel like the most special woman in the whole world, snuggling up to a romantic movie drinking Bellinis and eating popcorn.

…and I spent the afternoon sharing with some amazing single women from around the world about the 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love.

How do I know they are amazing women?

Well, the fact that they care enough about their intimate lives to take an hour out of their day to find out how they can transform their dating lives for good is a pretty clear indication to me.

The other thing that gave it away was some of the questions they asked.  …and today I get to respond to one of them and share it with you.

How can you have a relationship vision and not take the masculine ‘hunter’ approach to get it?

When I saw that someone had asked this question I was delighted.  Here were a group of women who ‘get it’.  They understand the real challenges that approaching relationships in a masculine way can have.

They know that taking on the ‘hunter’ role when looking for love can have a serious impact on the kind of man that you attract…and more importantly on the kind of man that you won’t.

So how is it possible to have a relationship vision and approach it in a feminine way?

The question is “Is there another way?” Is it possible to hold a specific and clear idea of the kind of man and relationship that you want to attract into your life, to have that relationship vision, and not ‘hunt it down’?

The short answer is simple.  Yes.  There is another way.

…and today I get to share with you why that’s true.  Watch the video now to find out more:

Bonus Video – How to have a relationship vision and not approach it in a masculine way from Claire Brummell on Vimeo.

So how can I create a relationship vision that I can really attract in this way?

As I mention in the video there’s so many aspects to this and I have so much to share with you about how to create a relationship vision and approach it in a way that you can really attract the relationship that you desire and deserve, that I’ve put them all together in the Femininity for the Single Woman Video Course…which is available now…Click here for more information.

…and if you’d like to find out more about the 7 Mistakes Single Women Make When Looking For Love AND The 1 Thing You Need To Know To Attract The Relationship You Desire & Deserve. Then you can now get access to the recording of the webinar…click here to get the free videos and the videos sent straight to your inbox: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-7-mistakes-single-women/

Can’t wait to see you then, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Can being dumped the night before Valentine’s Day be a good thing? Last year I found out…

Being dumped the day before Valentine'sValentine’s isn’t all hearts and flowers…

Valentine’s Day can be wonderful.

If you choose to spend it with the person who you love, enjoying and indulging in the wonderful connection that you have, it can be magical.

If you’re alone, it can be difficult.

If your partner walked out on you unexpectedly the night before it can be devastating.

I know.

This was how I spent Valentine’s Day last year.

At 11pm on February 13th 2012, the man who I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with walked out on me unexpectedly.

I was in shock.

I was waiting for the punch line.

Surely this was just a bad joke. A very very bad joke.

But it wasn’t.

It was real.

It was painful.

It was heart-breaking.

The bottom fell out of my world.

When he walked out of the door, he took with him my partner, my best friend, my business mentor, my technical team, and the vast majority of my savings account.

I felt completely and totally alone.

My romantic life was in tatters, my business was up in the air, my financial stability had been removed and my confidence was in ruins.

My Worst Valentine’s Day Ever…

I woke up, Valentine’s morning feeling like I’d hit rock bottom.

Most of my friends and close family members were either married, in long-term relationships or having babies.

At that point it felt like I was a million miles away from “happily ever after”.

For the first time in a long time I realised I didn’t want to be in a relationship.

I’d spent the last 10-15 years of my life pretty much going from one relationship to the next, without much time for me in between, and it felt like it was now my time.

Having spent so much time with other people, I’d lost touch a little with my “Inner Claire”…What did she want? What did she need? What was important to her? How did she want to spend her time? What did she want to do?

It was time to find out.

So I decided to go on a bit of a journey of discovery…learning more about myself, learning how to become my own best friend, learning to love myself, exactly as I was.

Spending quality time with me.

Going out dancing, travelling, spending time with friends, visiting places I loved, meditating, journaling…doing the things I loved, and enjoying them!

By spending this time making my life ‘All about me’, I was feeling fulfilled in a way that I hadn’t done in years.

I was happy, having fun, enjoying life.

I was absolutely beaming…and everywhere I went, people were remarking about how I was radiating this great energy. I was hearing that I was bringing a certain ‘sparkle’ wherever I went.

After a while it occurred to me that it’s because for the first time in a long time I was being me…unashamedly, unreservedly, undeniably me.

It was transforming how I felt, the work I was doing, the experiences I was having, and the people I was coming into contact with.

All of a sudden I realised that by being all of me, I was giving them permission to be all of them too.

Everywhere I went people were being magnetically drawn to my energy.

…and not just any people, the people who I wanted to spend time with. The ones I resonated with, the kindred spirits, the soul sisters and brothers…my kinda people.

So I asked myself, what had changed? Why was I all of a sudden attracting a different kind of person into my life?

If it was happening with friends, would it start happening with men too?

…and then it happened. The lightbulb moment.

In the work I was doing with women and men from around the world, I saw a pattern.

Those who were struggling to attract the kind of relationship they really wanted were following certain behaviours. More importantly those who had attracted the relationship they’d always desired WEREN’T following these same behaviours.

So what about this Valentine’s Day?

Suddenly the answers to so many questions became clear…Why I’d been attracting relationships that were doomed to failure, why I’d struggled to find any masculine men, where I’d been going wrong for all these years, why I couldn’t find love…

When I recognised the mistakes that both I and so many other women were making I started to change my approach to dating.

…at that point everything began to change.

Not long after the most incredible man appeared in my life, and being conscious of avoiding these mistakes has transformed the experience of dating for us.

He is everything I wanted in a man and more, our connection is deeper, more real, more intimate and more passionate than any man I’ve been with before.

So this time last year I was at rock bottom….alone, broken-hearted wondering if I would ever find love.

…and this Valentine’s day I spent the afternoon sharing the secrets of how I transformed my dating life with some amazing single women from around the world before spending a fabulous evening with an incredible man, who sees all of me, accepts all of me, and shows me every day just how much I mean to him.

It was the happiest Valentine’s Day I’ve spent in a long time…and without the Valentine’s from hell last year, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

If you would like to join us to learn the 7 mistakes single women make when looking for love and the 1 thing you need to know to attract the relationship you desire and deserve, and you missed the Valentine’s Day call, then I have good news.  I’m doing an encore webinar this Wednesday 20th February so pop on over here now and sign up… http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-7-mistakes-single-women/ …the first free video will be in your inbox before you know it!

So it turns out the worst V-Day ever, was actually the best gift I could have asked for.

Something to think about…

Happy Valentine’s to you, with lots of love from me.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

How do you cope with pre-date jitters?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st, Pre-date jittersToday I get to do one of my favourite things in the whole world…respond directly to a question that was asked of me by someone in the Feminine 1st community.

With Valentine’s Day almost upon us, it’s little surprise that a lot of people are thinking more about their relationships.  The ones they’re in, the ones they think are impossible to find, the ones they’d prefer not to be in, the ones they’d like to be in, the ones they’d like to tweak a little, the ones they’d like to tweak a lot, the one’s that are just a glimmer of potential right now.

…and those last ones are often the most exciting.

…they’re also sometimes the most unnerving!

Does everyone suffer from pre-date jitters?

There aren’t many people out there who haven’t had a few butterflies at the thought of an upcoming date at some point in their lives…the pre-date jitters are a common phenomenon.

But when you’re the one with the butterflies (that sometimes feel like they’ve had more caffeine than a student cramming for finals as they bounce around your tummy) it can feel like you’re the only person in the whole world who’s ever felt this way.

So how do you deal with pre-date jitters?

They key to dealing with the pre-date jitters is to ensure that they don’t get in the way of the date’s main purpose – having fun!  There’s nothing worse than having pre-date jitters so bad that they feel like they’re going to take over.

So this week, at the request of a lovely woman in our little Feminine 1st family, I’m sharing with you some ideas and suggestions for how you can overcome your pre-date jitters and get on with just enjoying yourself…

I wish I was in a position to have pre-date jitters! What about me?

It’s true, in order to have pre-date jitters, first it’s helpful to have a date! Luckily as a Valentine’s Gift from me to you tomorrow I am sharing a free video series and webinar on the 7 Mistakes Single Women Make When Looking For Love AND The 1 Thing You Need To Know To Attract The Relationship You Desire & Deserve.

So if you’d like to join us just pop on over here now and sign up and the first video will be in your inbox before you know it: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-7-mistakes-single-women/

Can’t wait to see you then, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Why is it so tough for single women?

It's tough for single womenValentine’s Day is nearly here, the holiday single women dread…

Why is it so tough for single women?

It’s that time of year again.

The shops are filled with cards, hearts, chocolates, flowers and cute little teddy bears.

Everywhere you go there seem to be nothing but happy couples in love.

Valentine’s day is great if you’re in a happy fulfilling relationship with the person of your dreams.

But if your relationship is having challenges or you’re a single woman it can be a bit of a nightmare.

Nothing can make you feel more single than being surrounded by reminders to ‘tell the one you love how you feel’.

If you’re a single woman, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.

There’s so much pressure, and as women we are genetically predisposed to be conscious of time passing by when it comes to love.

Most women have an internal voice that’s reminding us there is a clock ticking if we want to have children. For some women it’s a quiet whisper…for others it’s a roar. But whether we know for sure that we want children or not, the little voice remains because we biologically reach a point where it’s no longer going to be an option.

That point in our biology is one of the key distinctions between single women and single men….and the reason that the pressure to be in a relationship is subconsciously more intense for women than it is for men.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of men want to be in relationships too…but there isn’t a little voice in their ear reminding them that time is running out if they want a family of their own….because for them it isn’t.

And that’s not all. Singles have more heart attacks, a higher mortality rate and they decline in happiness more over time than their married counterparts.

But the most shocking thing about single women is that being single can actually end up costing them; not emotionally, not spiritually…but financially.

(Before you ask, no, this has nothing whatsoever to do with men picking up the tab more often when you’re in a relationship.)

Two journalists in the US crunched the numbers and worked out that not only does it cost single women more in taxes, housing and healthcare than their married counterparts…but they discovered that it could also cost a single woman over $1m more over her lifetime than it would an equivalent single man!

As if life wasn’t tough enough already for single women!

The sad thing about this is that most single women don’t actually want to be single.

It could be that they’re taking some time to get over a heartbreak or to reconnect with themselves after a previous relationship, or it could be that their life circumstances make it a little challenging with kids or a demanding career.

We’ve all used the phrases “I don’t have the time for a relationship”, or “It’s just not the right time for me”…but for the vast majority of single women it’s simply that they can’t find the relationship that they really want.

They don’t want to settle, but they don’t want to be alone either.

…and the questions! The never-ending string of questions swimming around the mind of a single woman…

  • How do I attract into my life a masculine man who has his sh*t together?
  • How can I get rid of my baggage from the past?
  • How do I allow myself to accept the love I deserve?
  • Where can I find the kind of men that I want to attract into my life?
  • How can I attract longevity?
  • How do you know if it’s worth saving a relationship, or letting go of it?
  • Should I go back to my ex? Will I find better?
  • Will I ever find love?

Add to that the plethora of challenges that their previous experiences, heartbreaks and personal beliefs add to the mix and it makes looking for love even more complicated for single women.

I know, I was one of them.

I also speak to them every single week.

…and the chances are that if you’re reading this now, you’re one of them too…or you know someone close to you who is.

I’m honoured enough to have both men and women from all over the world share with me their deepest and most intimate challenges, concerns and experiences…and a while ago I began to notice a pattern.

All of the woman who I knew who were facing challenges with love, myself included, were following some very similar behaviours.

Put simply, they were all making the same kinds of mistakes.

More importantly the women I knew who were having successful love lives, were doing things differently.

When I realised this, I decided to change my own approach to dating, and things changed rapidly.

Not long after the most amazing man entered my life. Being conscious of avoiding these mistakes totally changed our experience together. We felt more connected, more real, more intimate and more passionate.

We were both surprised at how simple it was…it took some effort, but we both really enjoyed it.

Because these mistakes aren’t complex to overcome, they’re actually very simple, it’s just we’ve got into a habit of dating a certain way (for a variety of reasons) that has made it very difficult for us to find love.

So I’m on a one-woman mission to help other women avoid the 7 mistakes single women make when they are looking for love!

As my Valentine’s gift to you, I’m sharing a free video series and webinar on the 7 mistakes that single women make when looking for love, and the 1 thing you need to know to attract the relationship you desire and deserve.

So if you would like to transform your dating life in the way that I’ve transformed mine (and I highly recommend it!) then pop on over here now to get the video series delivered directly to your inbox: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-7-mistakes-single-women/

…and if you know a single woman who is struggling while looking for love, please share this link with her too…the journey of dating is always a lot more fun when you get to share it with a friend.

So yes, it’s tough being a single woman…but I know I can make it that little bit easier for you, and the other single women you know.

I can’t wait to speak to you on the 14th, and in the meantime remember to stay fabulous!

Claire x

Do you know the first mistake single women make when looking for love?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1st, 7 Mistakes Single Women Make When Looking for LoveSo Valentine’s day is approaching, and as such single women everywhere start feeling that little bit more single.

Single Women have it tough…

It’s not easy for a single girl these days, trying to be successful in her career, manage her money, keep healthy and fit, maintain her friendships, be a good daughter / sister, look after the house, keep on top of hair and nails, make some time for yourself…our lives are pretty full.

…and then on top of all that we want to find a relationship too?

Quite frankly, it’s exhausting.

Why is looking for love so challenging for single women?

One of the reasons that it’s so exhausting is that we’re not making life easy for ourselves.

…and worse still, we’re totally unaware of it.

You see, in the work I’ve done with men and women from all over the world it’s become clear to me that single women have a pattern.  We’ve learned through our various experiences, the heart breaks, the challenges to approach our dating in a certain way.

The downside of this is that it’s not all serving us.

In fact, quite a lot is working against us.

…and through my work I’ve identified 7 common mistakes that single women make when looking for love, as well as 1 thing that you need to know in order to attract the relationship you desire and deserve.

When I realised this and saw the transformation it made in my own dating life I wanted to share it with you.  So as my Valentine’s gift to you I am sharing a free video series and webinar on the 7 mistakes that single women make when looking for love.

The first mistake single women make when looking for love…

So today as I would normally share a video with you, I thought I would give you a little taster with the first video of the series.

Watch the video now to find out the first mistake that single women make when looking for love:

If you would like to receive the next video as soon as it is available or join us for the free one-hour webinar then provide your details below and we’ll get the next video winging its way to your inbox as soon as possible:

Register for the FREE Video Series and Webinar

I can’t wait to speak to you soon, and share this information with even more single women, and in the meantime remember to Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

How can you help yourself to find a masculine man or feminine woman?

Show up as feminine to help them show up as masculine, Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo as we talked about last week, when we learn about polarity and the masculine and feminine, we realise that we want to be with someone who brings the opposite energy.

We want to find, attract, and be with someone who will be our equal and opposite, the one who will be the yang to our yin, the masculine to our feminine or vice versa.

What we don’t realise is that it’s not just about what’s inside the other person, whether they are masculine or feminine at core is not the whole story….

How do I find that masculine  man or feminine woman?

This is a question I get asked a lot.  How can I find this, or how can I find that?  Where can I find my masculine man? Where do all the feminine woman go?

I’m sorry to break it to you, there isn’t a secret underground club in London where they’re all hiding out just waiting for you to show up!

Looking for a masculine man or a feminine woman may be exactly where your problem lies…you might be focusing in the wrong place.

So where should I be looking to find my masculine man, or feminine woman?

What a lot of people don’t realise is that they’re looking for it ‘out there’, what we don’t realise is that what’s ‘in here’ (i.e. inside you) is what matters most of all.

What you’re bringing to the table is signalling what you want them to bring to the table.  Watch the video now to find out how the masculine men and feminine women are probably hiding in plain sight…

So my masculine or feminine will affect their masculine or feminine?

Yes!  As I said before, what you bring to the table is what you’re signalling to them that you’d like them to bring to the table.

Imagine that you’ve been invited to a barbecue on a lovely hot summer’s afternoon. There’s going to be a buffet table of salad and everyone will be bringing something to share.

Before you go to the store to work out what you want to bring for the salad buffet, you want to check what else is already on the table. You call the person who’s organising the BBQ and ask them what they already have.  If they tell you that they already have potato salad, the chances are that you’re not going to want to bring the same….instead you’ll want to bring something that will compliment the potato salad so that the buffet is more enjoyable for everyone.

The same is true with the masculine and feminine.  It often doesn’t happen at a conscious level, but subconsciously people will look and see what’s already on the table to work out what they can bring that will compliment what’s already there.  If you are showing up in a masculine way, it is possible that the man you’re with will bring his feminine to the table so that you don’t end up with a whole table full of potato salad!

So understanding and realising that how you show up can, and will affect how they show up will help you to find more of the masculine in any man.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Thursday Thought Quote: When it comes to love, don’t choose the better man. Choose the man who makes you a better woman.

This week’s Thursday Thought:

When it comes to love, don’t choose the better man. Choose the man who makes you a better woman.

Thursday Thought Quote: When it comes to love, don’t choose the better woman. Choose the woman who makes you a better man.

This week’s Thursday Thought:

When it comes to love, don’t choose the better woman. Choose the woman who makes you a better man.

The Magnetism of the Masculine and the Feminine

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday I want to share with you about the magnetic qualities of the masculine and feminine and how important they are to creating that real passion, desire and attraction within relationships.

We look at the consequences of feminine women being completely in their masculine, masculine men being completely in their feminine, people neutralising themselves…and also what can happen when we get someone who lives in their feminine coming together with someone who lives in their masculine.

Watch the video to find out all about it…

It’s also important to remember that masculine doesn’t have to mean a man and feminine doesn’t have to mean a woman…it’s possible for a man to be more feminine at his core and for a woman to be more masculine, although it is more rare.  As long as you have a strong feminine energy and a strong masculine energy, whether that’s between a man and a woman, a woman and a man, two men, two women…it doesn’t matter…you’ll feel that magnetic pull.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the magnetism of the masculine and the feminine,  so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you are a single woman, I have a little gift for you….I am running some free webinars on “Femininity for the Single Woman” in the coming weeks…click here for all the details: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-ffsw/

The importance of polarity in relationships


I’ve had a lot of fun and games this week with various timezones…and in the midst of it all I had a great conversation on a radio show based out of LA and I wanted to share with you the discussion we had…watch the video to find out more…

You can listen to or download the MP3 of the show here: http://clicky.me/79KF

I’d love to know your thoughts are on the importance of polarity in relationships, so please leave me a comment below and share what you think…

…Stay Fabulous!

Claire x