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Do you have a peaceful place?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stToday I want to share with you how important it is to have a peaceful place.  Somewhere you can go to relax, unwind, de-stress.

These days life can get a bit much from time to time with so much to juggle it can feel stressful and overwhelming, and it’s so important to have somewhere to decompress and get some space.

So today I share with you one of my ‘peaceful places’ and give you some ideas and suggestions for your own…watch the video to find out all about it…

I’d love to hear about your ‘peaceful places’, so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Do you remember to do this?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo the last couple of weeks have been a little crazy and busy at my end…OK, they’ve been downright manic!  Between filming, party buses, new baby nephews, I’ve barely stopped, and had very little sleep!

So I needed to make sure that I recharged my batteries…and how did I do that?

Watch the video now to find out:

I’d love to hear from you about how you’re going to make time for you, so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

When was the last time you did something to feed your soul?

ShoesAs feminine women, we all know how easy it is to give and give and give to other people.

But sometimes we forget that the most important person for us to give to is staring back at us in the mirror every morning.

It’s all very well doing little things for ourselves…treating ourselves to a meal we particularly like, having an extra 15 minutes soaking in the bath, taking a little extra time to read our favourite book…but how often do we do something that really replenishes at the core?

Something that lights you up inside.

Something that recharges your heart.

My guess (from knowing many many women around the world) is that it’s not very often.

These things often get filed under ‘unimportant or ‘when I have the time’.

But when we take the time to do something which juices us up from the inside out the affect is obvious in every single area of our lives.

We’re more happy and present with the people that we care about.

We’re more effective in our work.

We’re on fire! 🙂

So filing these sorts of activities under ‘unimportant’ is like filing your pay cheques in the nearest rubbish bin!

These things aren’t important…they are essential.

They fuel us…they replenish us.

They help us to put the life back into our lives.

Now the activities that feed the soul are different for every woman….but it’s very easy to discover what yours are…

Where does your mind go when it wanders?

If you didn’t have any responsibilities or obligations and you had an entire day with which to do exactly what you wanted…what would you do?

What are the activities that you do (or have done in the past) which light you up?

The ones that make you smile just by thinking about them?

It’s so easy to underestimate the power that doing these activities will have on your life. How you feel, how you behave, how you think, how you show up in your every day life.

I know.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to go salsa dancing for the first time in quite a long time. I didn’t go with anyone else (although I did bump into a lot of friends there, which was an unexpected pleasure!) I just wanted to go and do it for me.

Dancing makes me feel alive. When I’m out there on the dancefloor, the worries of life slip away and I feel completely and totally free. It completely and totally fills my soul up.

I spent the evening twirling across the dancefloor being spun and dipped to (quite literally) my heart’s content.

When I got back I was beaming…I had replenished my heart and soul and it was radiating from the inside out.

Dancing isn’t my only “Soul time”…I get the same recharge from singing, from spending time in nature, sitting by the ocean…there are a variety of things that I can do to feed my soul.

The thing is that we are always waiting for the space in our diaries to ‘fit this stuff in’.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you’re waiting for a spare couple of hours to magically appear in the middle of your day, evening or weekend the chances are that you could be waiting for quite some time.

We’re very good at filling time up. With family, with partners, with work, with Facebook!

Just an hour or two every week will make such a difference to you…and everyone around you too!

As feminine women, we know how important it is for us to receive and replenish as well as give, so it’s really crucial for us to make space in our busy schedules for this “Soul Time”.

So what is your ‘Soul Time’?

And when are you going to book your next “Soul Date”…one on one…just you and one of the things that you love doing the most?

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

you time

‘You’ Time – Part 2 – Ten Top Ways to Replenish Yourself

you timeSo last week we talked about time for you. To replenish yourself, to recharge your batteries and put your needs first.

I hope that you took a little time during the week to think about what ‘you time’ would really replenish you. Understanding how we can meet our own needs and replenish our energy is so important in order that we can continue to support our loved ones in the best way possible.

One thing that it’s important to say here is that replenishing doesn’t have to come from ourselves. It’s great to be able to receive from the people we care about and let them do things for us. Learning to receive like this is fundamental as a feminine woman.

BUT it is important that we aren’t dependent on the people around us for our replenishment. We need to be able to meet our own needs and feed our own energy stores. That way the extra we receive from our friends and family becomes a lovely bonus, which we can enjoy and appreciate. It is not something that we are reliant on for our wellbeing.

So, as promised, here is a list of ten top ways to replenish yourself:

  1. Take a bubble bath – When I say take a bubble bath, I don’t mean squeeze in a quick splash in the bath between doing other things. I mean set aside an hour, tell everyone that you are unavailable, turn off your phone, and ignore the doorbell. Light some candles, play some relaxing music, take your favourite book or magazine, and enjoy a long hot soak with no interruptions.
  2. Ten Minutes of Morning You Time – Take ten minutes every morning just for you. Put some relaxing music on your ipod, close your eyes and focus on you. Take some lovely long deep breaths and relax. Working your way up from your toes to the top of your head, take time to focus on and relax each single part of your body. Let any tension just melt away. Pay particular attention to your back, shoulders and neck. Then take a few minutes to think about what you’re going to do for yourself that day and how great it will feel when you do. It doesn’t take long to do, but this little piece of time in the morning will set you up for the day.
  3. Dance! – Take 10 minutes where you can be completely by yourself, put your favourite music on and have a dance about. Not ‘trying to look cool at a club’ dancing…but the sort of dancing you did when you were 5 years old…carefree, playful, purely about having fun!
  4. Make some time to read a great book – Taking some time to escape into another world for a short while is a great way to replenish yourself. Find a book that you love and get lost in a great story to take a break from the stresses of life for half an hour.
  5. Re-hydrate – Dehydration is the cause of so many problems in our bodies. A lack of water can make you feel weak, reduce your energy levels, and even affect your ability to concentrate. So taking time to make sure you have enough water in your body will make you feel much better! 🙂
  6. Do something creative – Feminine women are naturally very creative, so take some time to indulge your creative side and stimulate that part of your personality. You could paint, draw, write, sew, sing, dance…the list is endless. If you have a passion to try something new, then embrace it…give it a go!
  7. Get Outside – Even a quick ten-minute walk outside can make all the difference to how you’re feeling. Take some time to go for a walk and just be. Focus on the things that you can see, the sounds that you can hear. Look at the sky, the clouds, the trees…appreciate all the great things that are around you and enjoy being in nature.
  8. Pamper Yourself – Indulge your feminine side for a while and take some time to pamper yourself. Do your nails, give yourself a home facial or pedicure. Take an hour or so to lavish some attention on yourself.
  9. Find something that will make you laugh – Laughing is a great way to very quickly feel good again. As well as making us feel good in the moment, it actually has some real tangible long-term benefits. It can reduce stress, boost your immune system, and provides a physical and emotional cleanse. So find a good comedy film, jump on to youtube to find the latest clips for a laugh or look out some old photos to get the giggles flowing…
  10. Find some water – No, I don’t mean in the nearest tap…and I’m not going back to suggestion 1 here! As feminine women, being associated with the Yin energy we have a natural affinity for water. So if you have the ability to, spend some time by natural body of water. This will feed your soul and energise you. Take a little time and go to a local river, or lake. If you have the opportunity, spend some time by a waterfall or even by the ocean. Enjoy listening to the sound of the water, breathe and just be.

To give your ‘time for you’ sessions a kick-start, here’s a great song to inspire you to find some imaginative ways to be “feeling good”…

Here’s the link in case the video doesn’t play for you: http://youtu.be/OfJRX-8SXOs

And remember to Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

you time 2

‘You’ Time – Part One

you time 2As women we are only too good at looking after everyone else, listening to their problems, meeting their needs and helping them out.

Our nurturing nature means that we can sometimes be so focused on looking after others, that we end up at the bottom of the pile.

Put simply, our needs are met last.

Now, we can keep going like this for a while…but sooner or later it will catch up with us.

There’s a great example that I always like to use when I’m talking about this.

When you get on an airplane, they always have some sort of safety demonstration. They tell you how to find the nearest exits, show you how to fasten the oh-so-sexy yellow life jackets and remind you to take off your Blahniks before taking a ride on the inflatable slides from the emergency doors.

They then tell you the procedure to follow should the cabin lose air pressure.

“In the event of a change of cabin pressure, panels above your head will open revealing oxygen masks.

To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally.

If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.”

This last statement makes perfect sense. I mean, it’s going to be a little challenging to help anyone else out if you’re passed out on the floor due to lack of oxygen!

So why do we think it’s any different for the rest of life? If we give and give and never take the time to receive or replenish ourselves, it makes sense that at some point our well will run dry.

I’d like to ask you to try something.

(N.B. If you have any heart, respiratory or general health problems then please don’t actually do this, just read the text…you’ll get the idea! 😉 )

Take a really full deep breath in.

Now breathe out completely.

Now try breathing out again, without taking a breath in.

…now breathe out again, still without taking a breath.

…and again.

…and again.

You might have a little bit in reserve the first time you breathe out…you might even have a tiny bit left after the second time…but sooner rather than later your body will force you to take a breath in.

Why?

Because your body instinctively knows that it needs to replenish its stocks of air.

There are only so many out-breaths it can manage before it absolutely, positively HAS to take a breath in.

This might be a simple example, but it demonstrates that we need to replenish ourselves.

A key part of being a feminine woman is to be “in flow”. That flow needs to go two ways…both in and out.

It’s so important to take time for you. To rest, to recuperate, to replenish yourself, in order that you can continue to help and nurture those around you.

So next week I’m going to be giving you a list of ten top ways to replenish yourself. Some ideas for you to try to start giving back to yourself and putting yourself first…for a short while every day or every week.

But in the meantime I want you to think about ways in which you can replenish yourself.

What would be the best ‘you time’ for you?

If you would like to have some ‘you’ time and helping raise money for breakthrough breast cancer in the process then check out the All Woman Workshop: http://www.allwomanworkshop.com.  A day to indulge, have fun and to put the ‘you’ back into your life, all while raising money for a great cause.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

I'm fine

No thanks, I’m fine.

I'm fineHow many times a day / week / month do you say this sentence, or a variation of it?

It’s ok.

I’m fine.

I’ll manage.

It’ll be alright.

We spend our lives telling everyone else that we don’t need any help, assistance, guidance or support.

Often, when someone offers to help, the words of dismissal leave our lips almost before the suggestion has been made in full.

It seems that we are so used to proving to both ourselves and everyone else around us that “we can do it” and “we can cope” that we don’t even stop to consider the offer.

I feel we are so good at giving out and helping others…but not so great on the receiving front.

Well, the downside to that is that even the deepest of wells have a bottom at some point…and if you keep taking out, without putting back in, eventually it will be empty.

Us women are exactly like this. We give out, and out, and out, and out…but we forget that in order to have something left to give, we need to remember to replenish.

Receiving is a vital part of maintaining our feminine core…if we receive, we can continue to give.

Many years ago, I was the personification of the phrase “independent woman”. If something needed to be done, I could do it, I could handle it. There was nothing I couldn’t manage.

I would offer to help everyone else…with pretty much anything…but I didn’t like accepting help.

I didn’t want to put anyone out, or inconvenience anyone. I could do it….regardless of the fact that it might take me twice as long, or three times as much hassle.

When someone reminded me of two things:

If I kept giving out constantly…and never received…sooner or later there would be nothing left to give.

By not receiving myself, I was denying other people the pleasure of being able to give. Helping or doing something nice for someone else can really make your day…who was I to deny someone else that great feeling?

It was a major wakeup call.

I was chatting to a friend last week who was organising an event and having trouble finding a venue. When someone offered to help, her instinct was to say “No, don’t worry about it, I’ll manage”…when instead she found herself saying “actually, that would be great”.

Those 5 words saved her stress, hassle and extra workload which (given everything else that needed to be done) made a HUGE difference to her week.

The venue was sorted, and she didn’t have to worry about a thing…and the person who helped got to feel great about helping out someone they cared about.

It was a win-win situation…which wouldn’t have existed if she had insisted on proving that she could do it herself.

So the next time someone offers you help I’d like to ask you to be a S.T.A.R.

Stop – Stop first before saying anything. Be sure to respond to the offer they are giving you, not react to the fact that someone is trying to help.
Think – Think about what they are offering you. Would it help you? Will they feel good for being able to do it? Could you suggest a compromise which would work for you both?
Acknowledge – Acknowledge what they have said and thank them for their offer.
Receive – Receive the offer graciously.

If we all learned how to be stars…think how sparkly life would be! 😉

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x