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But I'm not pink and fluffy

But I’m not pink and fluffy!

But I'm not pink and fluffyOne of the comments that I often hear when discussing the topic of femininity is “But femininity is all about being pink, fluffy and girly…and that’s just not me…so I’m not feminine”.

I’m curious as to where this concept of feminine = pink and fluffy came from. Do you know? The reason I ask is that whenever I ask for celebrity examples of feminine women, there’s not a pink or fluffy person among them.

As you may know, recently I did surveys of both women and men to get their thoughts and ideas on femininity.

As part of the survey I asked for ladies in the public eye that are good examples of feminine women.

The list of examples was wide and varied, and I couldn’t possibly include them all here (you’d be here all week reading them!) But there were a few women who were mentioned frequently by both the men and the women.

These three ladies were Kate Winslet, Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton.

The first think to note is that not one of these ladies could be described as pink, or fluffy.

The second thing is that they are all vastly different to each other. We have an Oscar winning Hollywood sweetheart, the international queen of burlesque and England’s newest Princess.

I don’t think that many people would describe Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton as being particularly alike!

So if these ladies are all great examples of feminine women, and they are all so different, what is it that they have in common?

What makes them good examples of feminine women?

One word.

Authenticity.

They are being totally true to themselves. Their words, actions, image, behaviour, are all completely aligned.

The thing to remember is that femininity is not one-size-fits-all. It is completely and totally unique to each woman, because each woman is completely and totally unique.

You don’t have to dress a certain way to be feminine.

You don’t have to do your hair and make up a certain way to be feminine.

You don’t have to act a certain way.

You don’t have to say certain things.

Femininity is not something that you put on, like a favourite dress or pair of shoes.

It is something that radiates from the inside out.

If you really are feminine inside, what’s on the outside doesn’t matter at all…people will see it. And vice versa.

If a masculine woman walked into a room in a pink dress covered in lace, people would still see that she was masculine at her core because the packaging doesn’t change who she is inside.

If a feminine woman walked into a room in jeans, a T-shirt and trainers with her hair scraped back and no makeup at all, it wouldn’t matter…people would see the femininity radiating through.

Femininity is a state of mind, a state of being.

…no pink or fluffy required.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

what did the men have to say

So what did the guys have to say?

what did the men have to saySo…what did the guys have to say when we asked them about femininity?

Well..in true Feminine 1st fashion I shall be enlisting the help of the family fortunes sound effects to assist me in demonstrating the results. So when you see the play arrow after the words “Our survey said…” hit it to see what the result was!

So…the first question on our survey was “How would you describe a feminine woman?” Obviously I don’t have space to share all of the answers the guys sent through here…but I wanted to share a couple of them that I thought you would find interesting:

A feminine woman is warm, vibrant, lively, passionate, loving, youthful, creative, spontaneous.

A feminine woman is in touch with her interconnectivity with all. She is unconditional with her love and confident in her femininity. Her power shows up through her gentle, caring nature, her inner beauty, her ability to see the whole play. Her strength shows up in times of crisis when she’s the first with a bandage, the first to comfort and console, the last to complain about her own circumstances. She is selfless and graceful, elegant and subtle, gentle and powerful, warrior like in times of need, earth mother to children of all ages.

A feminine women is a women who takes care about herself and others by pleasing the body, mind and spirit.

Fantastic guys! That most definitely requires a: [audio:http://feminine1st.com/wp-content/uploads/ff-ding.mp3|titles=ff-ding]

We then asked if they thought feminine = weak and our survey said…[audio:http://feminine1st.com/wp-content/uploads/ff-ehurgh.mp3|titles=ff-ehurgh]

100% of the men said they disagreed with the fact that feminine = weak. Brilliant 😀

Next we asked if they found femininity in a woman attractive…and our survey said…[audio:http://feminine1st.com/wp-content/uploads/ff-ding.mp3|titles=ff-ding]

A whopping 100% of the guys agreed that femininity was attractive to them. Not a big surprise to me as most of the men who have spoken to me about femininity have said how attractive a woman is who is confident and comfortable in her femininity…glad to see the survey has confirmed the same! 🙂

So next we ask what were the positive aspects of feminine women. Again, there were too many answers to list here in full, but I’ve pulled out a selection of answers:

Willingness to lead by letting go of the control strings in a situation

Strength, confidence, elegance, unconditionality, selflessness

Inspiration, Harmony, Balance, Joy, Life, energetic, powerful, Emotion, Love, Connection

Intelligence, kindness, energy, sympathy, competence, vulnerability, strength, weakness, ambition, honesty, loads of good qualities.

Her attitude. Her presence. Her natural ability to be.

I couldn’t agree more guys.

So…we then asked them what they thought the negative aspects of feminine women (as if there were such a thing! 😉 ) and I found the results very interesting. Here is a selection:

None.

Lack of focus

Some use it as a tool to get what she wants or plays games with it

None. People are best to be how they are.

Femininity in the modern age has been misinterpreted and has limited women from being embraced in their full expression.

I have to say, I agreed with most of the answers that came in on this topic.

For example, the suggestion that some women use it as a tool to get what they want is an example of the “Fake Feminine” which I talked about in a recent blog post (not actually authentic feminine, but I can understand why it’s been given as an example of the negative side of things). I also wanted to say how much I agree with the last of the comments I’ve included. I couldn’t agree more that there are a lot of misperceptions and misunderstandings about femininity which have prevented women from embracing it and enjoying it fully. Luckily we’re here to help dispel some of those myths 😉

So then we asked whether the guys thought feminine women could be successful in business…and our survey said…[audio:http://feminine1st.com/wp-content/uploads/ff-ding.mp3|titles=ff-ding]

A huge 89% of the guys agreed that feminine women could be successful in business.

I couldn’t agree more…I believe men and women both have the ability to be successful in business, but the approach for a feminine woman is just different. When someone is true to themselves and being authentic, they are more likely to be successful in their endeavours than if they are forcing things or trying to be someone they are not.

Next we asked if the guys respected feminine women…and there was no debate at all!

Our survey said…[audio:http://feminine1st.com/wp-content/uploads/ff-ding.mp3|titles=ff-ding]

100% agreed that they respect feminine women…fabulous!

We then asked whether they would like the women in their life to be more feminine and our survey said…[audio:http://feminine1st.com/wp-content/uploads/ff-ding.mp3|titles=ff-ding]

89% of the men who responded confirmed that they would like the women in their life to be more feminine…which matches up very well with our female survey where the majority of the women confirmed that they would like to be perceived as more feminine by other people. It’s good to know we’re all on the same page! 😀

So then we asked the boys what aspect of a woman affects how feminine she is most.

As with the ladies there was more of an even split on this one, but mindset still came out on top with 56% of the vote. Appearance and Behaviour both scored 22%. As we mentioned in the last survey results, they can all have an affect on how feminine a woman feels but as the mindset is the key to both how a woman behaves and her appearance, I would have to agree with the majority here and say that mindset plays the biggest part.

When we asked for some examples of women in the public eye who the guys think are good examples of feminine women there was no stopping them!! The list is HUGE…so I will only list some of them here…and also point out that there were some similarities with the answers the ladies gave: Sophia Loren, Kate Middleton, Princess Diana, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Anniston, Anne Hathaway…I could be here for a long time listing them all!

As a final note I asked the guys if they had any other comments to add…and I wanted to share a couple of these with you:

Thanks for asking the guys!

I prefer women who use their feminine sides full on but also balance in their masculine energy to be COMPLETE women.

I believe that femininity is a quality, something to celebrate and respect.

More please! 😉

I have to say that balance is essential to any part of life, and something which I will be covering in one of my blog posts in the next couple of weeks.

…and I’m not sure if the “more please!” refers to femininity or the content on the site…but either way you won’t be disappointed! 🙂

I wanted to say thank you so much to the men who took the time to respond to these questions and give us their opinions. It has been great to see how in sync the answers from the men and the women have been. I’m sure it will be interesting for the women reading this blog to see how the guys have responded.

So thanks again for the nudge to get you guys involved!

…and to the ladies, I hope the synchronicity of the answers between the men and the women has been as nice for you to see as it has been for me!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

lets ask the men

Time to ask the boys…

lets ask the menWell it seems that I might have put the cat amongst the pigeons a couple of weeks ago by asking the women what they thought about Femininity but not asking the men…

My first thought when the guys pointed this out was that the reason for the first survey was to ensure that the content of the coming blog posts are relevant to the ladies around the world that will be reading them…

Now don’t tell them that I said this, but I really wasn’t sure that we really needed any input from the men (at this point). BUT, I have to admit, the more that I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that getting the male perspective on femininity (and by extension masculinity) will be very interesting for both me and you ladies who are following the blog.

So, thanks go out to the guys who have given me a cheeky nudge to let them have their say…I think that getting both sides of the story at this stage is a GREAT idea! 😀

I’ve put together some questions below for the guys to respond to and I would like to ask you to please pass these on to any men you know to get their honest opinions. Tell them it will take just a few minutes to complete, that all answers will be completely confidential, and that they will have my unending gratitude for helping us out!

Stay Fabulous! X

Behind the Scenes…

Well, what a week it’s been!

The first thing that I would like to say is a massive “Thank You” to each and every one of you for the overwhelming support I’ve received from across the globe since the website launched. I have been truly humbled by the kind words that you have sent, I am delighted that this content is touching the hearts of so many women and I am looking forward to sharing this journey with you. There have been many happy dances at this end over the last 10 days!

The second thing I wanted to update you on is that I’m busy compiling all of the results from the femininity survey…and there looks like there could be an interesting twist on the horizon…more on that later in the week…

The third thing I wanted to tell you about is something VERY exciting! Over the last week I have been busy squirreling away over my new audio programme: “The Feminine Evolution”…and I wanted to give you a sneak peek at the brand new CD artwork hot off the press!

The Feminine Evolution

Big thanks to my superstar graphic designer who has done a fantastic job (as always!) – I can’t wait to see the final CDs when the first of them arrive on Friday!

So what is “The Feminine Evolution” all about? Well, in order to make sure that we can collectively make the best decisions for ourselves in the future, we first need to understand how we have got here! …and even more importantly where is “Here”?

These days, as we know, most women feel they need to have superhuman powers (no capes darling!) just to cope with the multitude of roles and responsibilities in their life. In order to manage it all, we have fractured ourselves into lots of tiny parts, each of them dealing with a separate aspect. The problem is that in breaking ourselves into all of these pieces we’ve ended up losing sight of our true value.

We now need to learn how to bring these fragments back together in order to be our whole-selves again and enjoy the fulfilled life that we were born to live (lots of happy dances included!)

The first step in this process is to be feminine first…and in this CD I reveal exactly what this means.

The fourth thing that I wanted to mention was something which has cropped up several times in conversation over this last week is the $64,000 question…”What exactly IS femininity?” I’ve had a great variety of answers through the survey, but several people have asked me if I will give my personal definition.

The answer is, of course! I’m working on the blog post as we speak and all will be revealed later this week…

The last thing that I wanted to mention (but by no means the least!) is that I have some EXTREMELY exciting news which I will be revealing on here tomorrow…so stay tuned…there’s some real fun lurking just around the corner…I can’t wait!

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

femininity

What is Femininity to YOU?

femininityOK, so before I go babbling on about all this fabulous content I have on being feminine first, I really want to get to know you girls a bit better.

What do YOU think about femininity?  Do you see yourself as a feminine woman?  What aspects of femininity would you like to know more about?

So I thought that I would kick the blog off with a little Q&A session…and for this first one I’m going to be the one asking the questions! 🙂

So if you could take just a few minutes to answer these short questions I can make absolutely sure that the fabulous content I will be sharing with you over the coming weeks and months is exactly what you want to know!

I’ll also share the results of the survey on the blog (don’t worry, all answers will be completely confidential!) so you can see what all the other lovely ladies think as well.

Stay Fabulous! X