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Are your thoughts getting in the way of your feelings?

Are your thoughts getting in the way of your feelings?

Are your thoughts getting in the way of your feelings?As we know from the definition of femininity, our emotions are a crucial aspect of the feminine.

Connecting into our emotions, and what we’re feeling helps us to connect into our femininity.

The challenge that we have these days is that we spend so much time in our heads, rather than our hearts and our bodies.

We’re all about the ‘thinking’…and not so much about the feeling.

With our unending ‘to do’ lists, our brains are constantly in overdrive. There’s always something to think about, and when we’re done thinking about the first thing, there’s always something following up behind ready to take its place.

If we were just thinking, that would be one thing…but so often we cross the line from ‘thinking’ to ‘over analysing’…thinking through every possibility, every eventuality, all possible outcomes and questioning everything that we come across.

Look at our relationships – how much time do we spend, analysing, re-analysing and over-analysing what happens in our relationships?

What if he does this?

What if he doesn’t do that?

What did he mean by that?

Is he the right person for me?

We even tie ourselves in knots trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking too!

When we ask friends for advice, our first question is always “What do you think?”

So we’re living in an intellectual culture…does it really matter that we think so much?

Well it can do, when our thinking gets in the way of us connecting to how we feel.

So often when we have a problem or a challenge that comes up in our life, our first port of call is to jump into ‘logic mode’. Our attention goes immediately to our head, and we start trying to ‘figure out’ the solution.

We’re so in the habit of doing this that it doesn’t even occur to us to stop and pay attention to what we’re feeling.
The thing with this is that as women, what we’re FEELING often guides us in the right direction, but we’re so used to worrying about what we’re thinking that we don’t even hear what our feelings are saying.

…and when we do turn our attention to what we’re feeling, our brains still want a piece of the action.

The second we stop and check in with how we’re feeling, for most women our brains are there in a heartbeat:

“What am I feeling?”

“Why am I feeling that?”

“Am I feeling happy, or excited?”

More often than not we’re actually thinking about what we’re feeling, than actually allowing ourselves to just feel it.

We try so hard to describe and define something that is a tangible experience that we can end up limiting the feelings to what we can currently describe.

For example, if you only knew the word ‘happy’…but you were feeling exhilarated…in trying to describe and define the feeling you could actually limit the feeling itself.

So how do I know about this?

Well last year I took some time out and decided to spend the week in Glastonbury, one of my favourite places in England to visit.

During the week I did quite a bit of yoga, and meditation. One of the meditations I was doing was specifically about feeling into certain parts of my body…and being fascinated by whatever feelings I was experiencing.

One day, while doing this meditation I suddenly realised that I was trying to describe the feelings as I was experiencing them, and in doing so I was actually blocking myself from feeling them, and limiting them to what my brain could define at that moment in time.

I found myself sitting there thinking, “Is that a tingle, or a glow?…is it radiating, or circulating? Is it moving up or down?…” etc etc etc

All the time I was trying to describe the sensations I was feeling, I wasn’t allowing myself to just feel them.

So rather than describing them, I decided instead to just breathe deeply, relax and allow myself to feel them…and something wonderful happened.

The more I relaxed and just allowed the feelings, the more they grew, and changed and intensified.

The less I thought, the more I felt.

…and when I really wanted to express what I was experiencing, instead of writing about my experience and trying to put it into words, I chose to pick up a sketch pad and pastilles and draw and sketch what felt right.

Then later that same week I found myself having an incredible experience I was having a deep therapy massage, feeling so much going on in my body, and I suddenly realised that my mind was also joining in too!

I had a moment where both my thoughts and feelings were being allowed to flow…but in order to get to that point I first needed to allow and get in touch with the feeling in my body because my day to day life hadn’t previously allowed for that to be heard as often as it would have liked to!

So this week I encourage you to take a few moments where you can give your mind a break, and connect in to what you’re feeling, both emotionally and physically…and see what a difference it makes.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Your Unique Femininity Formula – Do you know how to get into your body?

Your Unique Femininity Formula - Do you know how to get into your body? - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stThese days, we women spend a LOT of time in our heads.

We think, we analyse, we wonder, we consider all the options.

It doesn’t matter what the topic, we like to make sure we’ve thoroughly considered every aspect of it.

We’ve got so used to thinking things through…that we have a tendency to over-think them!

Have you forgotten about your body?

We want to figure things out, find the solution…we’re intelligent creatures, so it’s natural for us to want to use our brains.

Think about your relationship.  How much time do you spend thinking about it, thinking about what’s great about it, what’s not so good about it, what could be better about it?

If there’s a problem you want to figure out the answer, look at the possible options, and potential outcomes and decide which course of action is likely to be the ‘best’.

But we’ve got so caught up in our heads with all this thinking that we’ve completely disconnected from our bodies.

What’s your body got to do with it?

The challenge we have as women is that logic and reasoning is a very masculine trait.

Now that’s not to say that it’s not something that women can do, far from it, but it also isn’t wise for a feminine women to spend all her time in her head stuck in the paralysis of analysis.

Getting stuck in your head is the fastest way to end up feeling overwhelmed and stuck…circling round and round with no real way out.

So the solution for us it to get out of our heads, and into our bodies…and today I give you a few ideas to get you started:

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

 

So would you like to know how you can get back into your body?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out all about how you can connect with your animal instincts.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Over-think things? Me? Never…

ThinkingWe all do it.

We know we do.

We get caught up in our heads, over-thinking things and analyzing them to the ‘nth’ degree.

As women, we have a tendency (in general) to do this more than men do…as men have the ability (as alien as it may seem to us) to do the ‘thinking about nothing’ thing.

I’ve yet to meet a woman who has mastered this skill.

If you saw the link in last week’s newsletter to the hilarious video from Mark Gungor on the difference between men and women’s brains you know exactly what I’m talking about! (If you missed it, you can find it here clicky.me/71dC)

We’re intelligent people, so it’s natural that we would want to use our brains.

We want to work out the answer, solve the problem, find a solution.

But at what point does thinking become over thinking?

Where we analyse EVERYTHING before we say or doing anything.

Where we try and find every single possible permutation of a situation, every possible outcome so that we can ‘be prepared’…regardless of what happens.

As many people say…we get caught in the paralysis of analysis.

One of the main problems with this is that we get so caught up in the thinking that we never actually get to the doing.

When it comes to femininity and polarity however, the challenge with over-thinking is more fundamental.

Because although there are things that you can do to feel more feminine, there are things you can think, even things you can wear…at its core it is a feeling.

A sensation, an emotion, an essence.

A way of being…not of thinking.

If we get caught up in our heads too much we are actually moving away from the essence of what femininity is all about.

So this is just a little reminder.

To get out of your head and into your heart a little more often.

Focus on what you feel, not on what you think.

If you’re ever in doubt over what to do or how to proceed, go back to the core.

Turn down the volume on that little voice in your head (which is probably driving you crazy anyway!) and turn up the volume on your heart.

There are a number of ways to do this, but the one that I always recommend is an exercise at the end of my free MP3 audio program “The First Steps to Femininity”.  If you’ve not yet got it, pop over here now to get your free download: http://feminine1st.com/free-gift/

It only takes 8 minutes, and having you’ve done it once with the audio, it’s really easy to do any time, any place.

When you’ve reconnected with your heart, from THAT place ask yourself one simple question.

What is my intuition telling me?

How do you know?  It’s easy.

When you’re in this space, feeling really connected, ask yourself the question that you want the answer to, and the first thing that instantaneously comes to mind (before your brain has a chance to kick in and complicate matters!) is what your intuition is telling you.

As we know, femininity is all about authenticity, it comes from the inside out.  The best way to find that authenticity is getting back to the heart and working from what you feel, not necessarily what you know.

So, when your brain runs riot and gets carried away…tell it to take the afternoon off and spend some quality time with your heart.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x