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Your Unique Femininity Formula – Do you need to make time for yourself?

Your Unique Femininity Formula - Do you need to make some time for you? - Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stMost of the women I know are the epitome of organisation.

If you need something doing, scheduled, arranged, or planned…give it to the nearest woman and she’ll have it done in a jiffy.

Give her a calendar, a notepad and pen to create the inevitable lists that will be associated with it, and she can pretty much achieve anything.

So if we’re so good at organising and managing our time, why is the one complaint most women have “I don’t have enough time?”

How do you manage your time?

As women, our to-do lists tend to be overflowing.

There’s a never-ending list of tasks that need to be accomplished and completed.

We have a lot to ‘fit in’.

But it’s OK.

We know the priorities, and we make sure that all of the ‘musts’ get done.

Don’t we?

Where’s the time for you?

So how to we prioritise our lists?

It’s easy…generally speaking, whatever shouts loudest, goes to the top of the list.

Kids, bosses, partners, parents….if we know that someone’s going to be on our case if something doesn’t get done, then we make sure it happens.

And therein lies the problem.

We don’t shout for ourselves.

In order to get everything done, in order to keep everyone happy, in order to keep putting one foot in front of the other and NOT having a nervous breakdown, we have to look after ourselves first.

If we wait until we’ve done everything else so that we use the time left for ourselves, we’ll be waiting a long time.

So today I want to give you some suggestions about ways in which you can make time for yourself, and what to do with it when you’ve got it!

If you are already a Feminine 1st Family Member of Bronze Level or above, click here to see the full video

 

So would you like to know how to create time for yourself?

I would love to share more with you about this and so many incredible topics, and so I’d like to invite you today to join the Feminine 1st Family as a Bronze Member or to become a Free Member to enjoy over 80 Free Videos.

What does Bronze Membership Give Me? Well in addition to all of the features of our Free Membership (including the “First Steps to Femininity” MP3 and over 80 free videos), you will also get access to all future premium Feminine 1st videos for the duration of your membership. You will also have the opportunity to submit requests for topics to be covered or questions to be answered in these weekly videos.

So click here to find out all about how you can make time for yourself, so you can feel great and still support those around you.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

18 ways to feel more feminine…

18 ways to feel more feminineFinding ways to feel more feminine

Last week I began to share 18 ways to feel more feminine, ideas to inspire you to create your own unique femininity formula.

 

So as promised, this week I’m sharing you the final nine to help you create the recipe that will help you feel in feminine flow.

Create your feminine recipe…

Nourish yourself – Finding ways to nourish yourself, whether that be body, mind or spirit is a great way to fill your feminine cup as it all contributes to the energy you have which is a key part of the feminine. So whether it’s drinking plenty of water to make sure you’re hydrated and feeling great, or eating food that you know will feed the cells in your body and have them bursting with energy or even just making sure that you get enough sleep, making sure that your body is well looked after will make you feel fabulous.

Take time out for you – These days us women are so busy, with our to do lists, the hats we’re juggling and the plethora of people we’re trying to please that the one thing we often forget to do is to take time for ourselves. I know a lot of women who take time every single day for themselves, whether that’s taking time to relax, read a good book, meditate, go for a walk or just to let yourself ‘be’ for a bit without worrying about ‘doing’ for a while.

Find the things that just bring out your feminine nature – There are some things that for some reason or another just make us instantly feel more feminine. For some of us it’s wearing beautiful stiletto heels, for others it’s going bare foot and feeling grounded. It could be wearing a beautiful floaty goddess-inspired dress, or it could be having some time where you’re not restricted by clothes and just get to enjoy being in your natural state. Whatever it is, see if there are some things that just make you feel feminine, for no other reason than they do.

Get Creative – As creativity is all about expressing yourself, your passions and your emotions, getting creative is a fantastic way to reconnect with your feminine. Whether it’s through writing a journal, painting, drawing, it doesn’t matter…it’s all about how you want to creatively express yourself!

Spend time with other feminine women – For a feminine woman, one of the fastest ways to reconnect with your feminine can be spending time with other feminine women. Feeling that sense of sisterhood and support, from other beautifully feminine women can connect you to your feminine in a way that nothing else can. Being able to share all of yourself, to be vulnerable and speak your truth in a safe space with women who listen with no judgment or agenda, but who only want to support you is an experience that every woman should have. I am lucky enough to have an amazing collection of women who live in countries all around the world who are there for me and love and support me any time I want or need it.

Spend time around a masculine man – One of the reasons that we have not been as well connected with our feminine is that us women have spent a lot of time over the last few years living in our masculine. Whether to help us achieve success at work, or to protect ourselves from getting hurt in intimate relationships, it’s been our go-to place. So one way to help connect you’re your feminine is to spend time around someone who is a very masculine man. Your inner feminine woman will instantly recognise that you can relax and step out of that role because he’s got it covered.

Find things that you enjoy – Being playful and having fun are fundamental parts of the feminine, so one option for your unique feminine formula is to find something that you really enjoy, something that makes you laugh, something that lights you up, something that brings a smile to your face. Because when you feel that way, it will radiate out of you without you even realising it.

Follow your intuition – We all have a little voice, a gut instinct that gives us a feeling as to which path we’re meant to follow. Learning to follow that voice and see where it leads us (which in my experience has always been to amazing places!) can instantly make you feel more feminine. It’s not called female intuition for nothing!

Connect to your passion – One of the key female traits is energy…and a lot of our energy comes from our passions. So finding a way to connect with your passion can quickly help you connect to your feminine. Whether that passion is sexual, related to your purpose in life or reason for being, or something that you just feel passionately about, find your passion and you may find yourself feeling more feminine.

Get inspired – Inspiration is another key aspect of the feminine, so feeling inspired often can help you to feel more feminine too. The beauty with inspiration is that you don’t have to be inspiring others, you can be feeling inspired by someone else! So find someone or something that inspires you, and you may find your feminine gets inspired in the process.

You and your feminine…

Remember, your femininity is exactly that…YOUR femininity.

It’s all about what works for you.

So take the ideas here and play with them.

Try them, tweak them, change them completely

…and find what lights up your feminine flame.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

Are you so busy ‘doing’ that you forget about the ‘being’?

Are you so busy doing you forget about the beingEveryone has a lot to do.

In fact, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t got a little too much to do.Or a lot too much to do.I don’t remember ever hearing someone say “You know, I just don’t have enough to do at the moment…I could really use a little more on my plate”

I was actually joking about it with a friend last night, he works late on a regular basis, and we were laughing about the fact that no matter how much gets done, there never seems to be less to do.  I joked that I can’t see his boss ever turning around and saying, “Relax, we don’t have much to do today…”, in fact if anything he’s liable to crack the whip even more.

I’m a very busy person.

I’m willing to bet money that you’re probably a very busy person too.

Women especially tend to take a lot on ourselves.

Our ‘to do’ lists are bursting at the seems.

We have things to do for work, for our job, whether we work for ourselves or someone else, there’s always something that needs doing.

There are things to do at home, tidying, cleaning, washing, cooking…the general basics for most human beings.

We have things to do for our fitness…we want to go to the gym, or do yoga, or go running.

We have things to do for our friends, whether that’s spending time with them, remembering to buy birthday cards, or being there for them when they’re going through their latest challenges.

We have things to do for our families, to be a good daughter, sister, niece, mother, granddaughter, auntie…and any other role that comes to mind.

We have things to do for our health, we want to eat right, drink right, and know which are the best foods to be putting into our bodies

We have things to do for our growth and development…books to read, audio programs to listen to, videos to watch, seminars to attend, processing to do, beliefs to shift, challenges to release.

We have things to do for our finances…bills to pay, credit cards to keep an eye on, bank statements to check.

We have things to do for our enjoyment, we have dance classes to attend, gigs to go to, bars and restaurants to visit, museums to visit…

Wait.

Hang on a second.

We have things to ‘do’ for our enjoyment.

Do you remember about the ‘being’?

The list of things on the ‘to do’ list is exhausting enough…but having stuff on there that we need to do in order to enjoy ourselves, that just sounds like more pressure to me.How often do you just forget about the ‘to do’ list and allow yourself to just be?Are you aware that ‘doing’ is a much more masculine trait, than a feminine one?  Femininity is more about ‘being’, masculinity is more focused on the results, the end game, the outcome and what needs to be ‘done’ in order to achieve it.

If we want to really connect with our femininity, we need to be able to let go of our focus on the doing, and embrace the being.

Does being mean I don’t do anything?

This doesn’t mean we don’t do anything…it’s just that we allow ourselves time and space to be as well…we find the balance of the two that’s right for us.

Real feminine enjoyment comes from the ‘being’, in the moment, appreciating the now…not in the doing!

Our lives have become a great big pressure cooker, and often the approaches we take (normally through habit rather than choice or design) just serve to turn the heat up even more!

So how do we release the pressure valve?

Because if we don’t release the pressure valve, you know what will happen.  Eventually the pressure will become too much and we’ll just explode…and nobody wants that.

How do I make the shift from doing to being?

So here are 6 shifts in perspective that can help you to release that pressure valve, avoid the explosion and embrace more of your femininity.

1. Being rather than doing – We know about everything we need to ‘do’…but do you make time to just be?  It can be as simple and straight forward as just pausing for a moment, clear your mind, take a deep breath and allow yourself to just be.  This is something that some women find challenging so there are a number of techniques that I share with women I work with to help them with this.   But having a couple of minutes of quiet time, without being overwhelmed with thoughts of things to do can make a big difference.

2. Allowing rather than pushing – If you’re trying to push anything, a person, an object, even yourself, it takes effort.  Allowing means that you can relax, it doesn’t take any effort whatsoever, you just let it happen.  Imagine pushing someone through a door, and feel in your body how much effort it would take.  Now imagine just allowing them to walk through it…how does that feel by comparison?

3. Nourishing rather than draining – We are living, breathing creatures and we only have a certain amount of energy within us.  If we take an approach that drains the body…eventually the tank will be empty.  But if we choose to nourish ourselves along the way, we will never run out of energy for ourselves or for those around us.

4. Requesting rather than demanding – When was the last time that you said ‘no’ to yourself?  We don’t tend to give ourselves a choice, we demand, we expect, and we require.  If you can shift from demanding to requesting, you allow yourself the space to say no, if it serves you to do so.

5. Choosing rather than avoiding – There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re avoiding something…so instead powerfully choose what is right for you in that moment.  If it’s to ‘not do’ something, then allow yourself to choose that, to enjoy choosing that, and to release any guilt around it because it is a choice you’re making.

6. Noticing rather than ignoring – When the pressure starts to build, the signs begin to show.  Our energy levels may lower, we may get a little ill, we might get a little short-tempered…but we tend to push on, and ignore the red flags that are waving at us from all angles. If we can notice these signals, and make a shift to release the pressure valve early, we can avoid the explosion.

I made the mistake recently of doing a little too much doing…and I felt drained as a result.  So, after a little reminder I’m now back to daily nourishing goddess yoga sessions, time to nurture myself by painting my nails or having a bubble bath…just finding little moments in time for me to enjoy and appreciate being, and letting the need to do melt away for a little while.

So I invite you this week to enjoy just being…and see how it feels to release the pressure valve a little….

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

Do you remember to do this?

Claire Brummell, Feminine 1stSo the last couple of weeks have been a little crazy and busy at my end…OK, they’ve been downright manic!  Between filming, party buses, new baby nephews, I’ve barely stopped, and had very little sleep!

So I needed to make sure that I recharged my batteries…and how did I do that?

Watch the video now to find out:

I’d love to hear from you about how you’re going to make time for you, so please leave me a comment below to share your thoughts…

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

10 simple rules for being your own best friend

Self HugOn Monday we talked about how important it is to be your own best friend.  So the question now is…how do you do that?

Well, to make it easy for you I’ve created 10 simple rules to follow in order to make yourself your bestist friend ever!

  1. Look for what you LOVE – As women, we have a very bad habit of focusing on our flaws.  In the mirror our eyes often go to the things we wish we could minimise, reduce or change, which means that this is what we’re focusing on when we look at ourselves.  If you were to actively look for the things that you love about yourself, how would this change how you feel about yourself?
  2. Accept yourself as you are – Our best friends don’t try to change us…they love us just as we are…warts and all.  Accept that you’re not perfect, and LOVE that about yourself.  Your imperfections are often what make you interesting.  If we were all the same, identical, ‘perfect’ – how boring would that be?  Love your imperfections…they are what make you unique…they are what make you who you are.
  3. Make time for yourself – As women we spend a lot of time thinking about everyone else, and their needs.  But in order to be your own best friend, you need to make time and space in your life that is just about you.  So make sure you make time every week, and if possible every day, which is yours to do with exactly as you want.
  4. Do things you love – When you take time for you, spend it doing things that you love.  When you do things that you love, it feeds your soul.  It lights you up from the inside out.  So as well as doing things that you enjoy now….think about the things that you loved to do when you were a child.  Did you like going to the beach and jumping the waves?  Did you like spending time with animals? Did you like to dance?  When you get back to doing what you loved as a child it will bring a sparkle to you like nothing else.
  5. Talk yourself up – I’m not talking about telling the world about how great you are here…I’m talking about telling yourself! 🙂 Our ‘self talk’ (the things we say to ourselves, whether that is out loud or just in our own minds) has a HUGE impact on how we feel.  What’s scary is that we’re so used to our self-talk that it’s easy to forget that it’s even there….but that doesn’t stop it affecting us.  So the first step is to be conscious of what you’re saying to yourself, and how.  The second is to realise when your self-talk isn’t serving you, and the third is to adjust what you’re saying to what you would say to your best friend in the same situation.  Tell yourself how great you’re doing, recognise the good in yourself and celebrate the person that you are.
  6. Remember your achievements – As women we’re very good at recognising when we believe we should have done something differently.  We are continually picking up things that should have been done faster, better, bigger.  But in order to be our own best friend, we need to recognise, remember and celebrate our achievements.  When you have accomplished something, no matter how big or small, focus on what you HAVE done…not what you haven’t. So when you complete something, achieve something or do something, take a moment to stop and recognise it.  Give yourself permission to feel good about it, and make the most of that moment.
  7. Be kind to yourself – As women we can often be our biggest critic rather than our number 1 fan.  The most important thing to remember and to keep front of mind is to always be kind to yourself.  Stop expecting perfection.  Give yourself a break. Show yourself compassion.  Show yourself love.
  8. Become your biggest cheerleader – Encourage yourself in the things that you want to do in life.  Cheer yourself on mentally.  Think about what you would say to a dear friend if they were shooting for something special.  Encourage yourself to shoot for the stars, to go for your dreams, and cheer yourself on along the way!  At the end of each day think of 3 things you’ve done well and congratulate yourself on them 🙂
  9. Look after your needs – Do you know what your needs are?  Are you making sure that they are met?  Do you need relaxation?  Do you need an injection of passion?  Do you need peace and quiet?  Do you need fun and excitement? Do you need security?  Do you want some variety?  Work out what your needs are…and make sure that they’re being met.
  10. Don’t let anyone else talk badly about your best friend – Would you let anyone speak badly about your best friend?  Of course not!  So if anyone says something about you that you don’t agree with, politely correct them.  You don’t have to be rude, or confrontational, just be calm and polite and suggest an alternative way to view the situation.

So there you have it, 10 simple and easy rules for being your own best friend.

What are YOU going to do differently to befriend yourself and make yourself the bestist friend you could imagine?

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

you time

‘You’ Time – Part 2 – Ten Top Ways to Replenish Yourself

you timeSo last week we talked about time for you. To replenish yourself, to recharge your batteries and put your needs first.

I hope that you took a little time during the week to think about what ‘you time’ would really replenish you. Understanding how we can meet our own needs and replenish our energy is so important in order that we can continue to support our loved ones in the best way possible.

One thing that it’s important to say here is that replenishing doesn’t have to come from ourselves. It’s great to be able to receive from the people we care about and let them do things for us. Learning to receive like this is fundamental as a feminine woman.

BUT it is important that we aren’t dependent on the people around us for our replenishment. We need to be able to meet our own needs and feed our own energy stores. That way the extra we receive from our friends and family becomes a lovely bonus, which we can enjoy and appreciate. It is not something that we are reliant on for our wellbeing.

So, as promised, here is a list of ten top ways to replenish yourself:

  1. Take a bubble bath – When I say take a bubble bath, I don’t mean squeeze in a quick splash in the bath between doing other things. I mean set aside an hour, tell everyone that you are unavailable, turn off your phone, and ignore the doorbell. Light some candles, play some relaxing music, take your favourite book or magazine, and enjoy a long hot soak with no interruptions.
  2. Ten Minutes of Morning You Time – Take ten minutes every morning just for you. Put some relaxing music on your ipod, close your eyes and focus on you. Take some lovely long deep breaths and relax. Working your way up from your toes to the top of your head, take time to focus on and relax each single part of your body. Let any tension just melt away. Pay particular attention to your back, shoulders and neck. Then take a few minutes to think about what you’re going to do for yourself that day and how great it will feel when you do. It doesn’t take long to do, but this little piece of time in the morning will set you up for the day.
  3. Dance! – Take 10 minutes where you can be completely by yourself, put your favourite music on and have a dance about. Not ‘trying to look cool at a club’ dancing…but the sort of dancing you did when you were 5 years old…carefree, playful, purely about having fun!
  4. Make some time to read a great book – Taking some time to escape into another world for a short while is a great way to replenish yourself. Find a book that you love and get lost in a great story to take a break from the stresses of life for half an hour.
  5. Re-hydrate – Dehydration is the cause of so many problems in our bodies. A lack of water can make you feel weak, reduce your energy levels, and even affect your ability to concentrate. So taking time to make sure you have enough water in your body will make you feel much better! 🙂
  6. Do something creative – Feminine women are naturally very creative, so take some time to indulge your creative side and stimulate that part of your personality. You could paint, draw, write, sew, sing, dance…the list is endless. If you have a passion to try something new, then embrace it…give it a go!
  7. Get Outside – Even a quick ten-minute walk outside can make all the difference to how you’re feeling. Take some time to go for a walk and just be. Focus on the things that you can see, the sounds that you can hear. Look at the sky, the clouds, the trees…appreciate all the great things that are around you and enjoy being in nature.
  8. Pamper Yourself – Indulge your feminine side for a while and take some time to pamper yourself. Do your nails, give yourself a home facial or pedicure. Take an hour or so to lavish some attention on yourself.
  9. Find something that will make you laugh – Laughing is a great way to very quickly feel good again. As well as making us feel good in the moment, it actually has some real tangible long-term benefits. It can reduce stress, boost your immune system, and provides a physical and emotional cleanse. So find a good comedy film, jump on to youtube to find the latest clips for a laugh or look out some old photos to get the giggles flowing…
  10. Find some water – No, I don’t mean in the nearest tap…and I’m not going back to suggestion 1 here! As feminine women, being associated with the Yin energy we have a natural affinity for water. So if you have the ability to, spend some time by natural body of water. This will feed your soul and energise you. Take a little time and go to a local river, or lake. If you have the opportunity, spend some time by a waterfall or even by the ocean. Enjoy listening to the sound of the water, breathe and just be.

To give your ‘time for you’ sessions a kick-start, here’s a great song to inspire you to find some imaginative ways to be “feeling good”…

Here’s the link in case the video doesn’t play for you: http://youtu.be/OfJRX-8SXOs

And remember to Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

you time 2

‘You’ Time – Part One

you time 2As women we are only too good at looking after everyone else, listening to their problems, meeting their needs and helping them out.

Our nurturing nature means that we can sometimes be so focused on looking after others, that we end up at the bottom of the pile.

Put simply, our needs are met last.

Now, we can keep going like this for a while…but sooner or later it will catch up with us.

There’s a great example that I always like to use when I’m talking about this.

When you get on an airplane, they always have some sort of safety demonstration. They tell you how to find the nearest exits, show you how to fasten the oh-so-sexy yellow life jackets and remind you to take off your Blahniks before taking a ride on the inflatable slides from the emergency doors.

They then tell you the procedure to follow should the cabin lose air pressure.

“In the event of a change of cabin pressure, panels above your head will open revealing oxygen masks.

To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally.

If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.”

This last statement makes perfect sense. I mean, it’s going to be a little challenging to help anyone else out if you’re passed out on the floor due to lack of oxygen!

So why do we think it’s any different for the rest of life? If we give and give and never take the time to receive or replenish ourselves, it makes sense that at some point our well will run dry.

I’d like to ask you to try something.

(N.B. If you have any heart, respiratory or general health problems then please don’t actually do this, just read the text…you’ll get the idea! 😉 )

Take a really full deep breath in.

Now breathe out completely.

Now try breathing out again, without taking a breath in.

…now breathe out again, still without taking a breath.

…and again.

…and again.

You might have a little bit in reserve the first time you breathe out…you might even have a tiny bit left after the second time…but sooner rather than later your body will force you to take a breath in.

Why?

Because your body instinctively knows that it needs to replenish its stocks of air.

There are only so many out-breaths it can manage before it absolutely, positively HAS to take a breath in.

This might be a simple example, but it demonstrates that we need to replenish ourselves.

A key part of being a feminine woman is to be “in flow”. That flow needs to go two ways…both in and out.

It’s so important to take time for you. To rest, to recuperate, to replenish yourself, in order that you can continue to help and nurture those around you.

So next week I’m going to be giving you a list of ten top ways to replenish yourself. Some ideas for you to try to start giving back to yourself and putting yourself first…for a short while every day or every week.

But in the meantime I want you to think about ways in which you can replenish yourself.

What would be the best ‘you time’ for you?

If you would like to have some ‘you’ time and helping raise money for breakthrough breast cancer in the process then check out the All Woman Workshop: http://www.allwomanworkshop.com.  A day to indulge, have fun and to put the ‘you’ back into your life, all while raising money for a great cause.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x