I love that my readers inspire me so much.
Today’s post is written in direct response to a message that I was sent in the last couple of weeks from someone who is a single mum. Being a single mum, she is struggling a bit with the concept of femininity, especially in relation to being the sole breadwinner in her household.
Now, the single mum topic is a whole separate conversation (and one that I will talk about another day)…but the question of whether it is possible for a feminine woman to also be a breadwinner is one which comes up quite regularly.
When people think about the stereotypes of a masculine man and a feminine woman, they often picture a large guy (often with pecs to die for and a washboard stomach!) bringing home the bacon and ‘looking after his woman’….and they imagine the feminine woman as the one who looks beautiful, keeps a nice home and has the dinner on the table when he gets home from a long day at the office.
The trouble with this picture is that stereotypes are just that, stereotypes… they’re not reflective of the reality these days.
Over the last 50-70 years men and women’s traditional roles have been turned upside down. Women are now not just able, but expected to go out and earn a living just as much as the men are…so how does this fit with our feminine nature?
Well if we take the masculine approach to breadwinning, then it’s understandable to see why it could be jarring.
If we take the view that we are trying to prove ourselves, then it won’t serve our feminine nature.
If it is purely about asserting ourselves forward, then it’s not coming from a feminine place.
If we are trying to show that we are independent and can do it all on our own then our feminine isn’t in play.
If we are competing, either with ourselves, our partners, or anyone else around us, then this isn’t a feminine approach.
If we are focused only on the outcome…the results…the money…then we’re not operating in a feminine way.
But this isn’t the only approach to earning a living that there is. There is another way…
What if you looked at earning a living as a way of nurturing your family and being able to give them what they need to grow and develop to their full potential?
What if you chose to earn a living from a heart-space…making it about showing your love for the people that you care about most by providing the financial support they might need?
What if you earned from a place of flow, from giving of your time and effort and receiving value in return…rather than forcing it?
What if you looked at earning a living as a by-product of living your purpose?
What if you earned as a result of doing a job or career that supports your own personal growth and development…because every situation is an opportunity to grow…?
What if you earned in order to contribute, to yourself, to your family, to those you love…?
How about seeing earning a living as a way of supporting yourself and your family…?
When we open ourselves up to the idea that there is a feminine approach to ANYTHING that we do in our lives, including earning a living, it opens up a whole new world of possibilities.
As with anything in life, our intention is crucial. Which place are we operating from…our head or our heart?
It’s worth noting here that if you are in a relationship with a man who is masculine at core, he may not feel 100% comfortable if you are earning more than he is. He may not feel this at a conscious level….he may not be aware of it at all…but it is something that could creep in.
If this is the case, it’s important for you to be aware of (and to demonstrate that you are aware of) two things. The masculine man has the need to provide built in…but money is not the only way that a man can provide to his woman and his family. There are a whole multitude of ways in which he can provide for you…and by requesting these from him (rather than complaining about what you aren’t getting) he will be able to easily identify what they are for you.
The second is that he must still feel needed, appreciated and admired. If you ensure that your man feels these from you, the impact of any imbalance of earnings will be greatly reduced.
When we take a heart-centered approach, connect to our feminine nature and act from that place it changes the experience completely. For us, for family, for our colleagues…for everyone around us.
Not only that, but we can inspire other women around us to see that there is another way to approach their careers…one which serves them and the people they love in the best way possible.