Do you know the 6 friends every woman needs in times of crisis?

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The 6 friends every woman needs in a crisisWe’ve all had those times.

The ones where everything seems to hit all at once.

Where just as you begin to catch your breath and find your feet, the next wave hits you, then the next, then the next, then the next.

Well the last month or two have been a bit like that for me…there have been a plethora of events and situations that have hit one after the other.

I’m sure sometime soon I’ll share more about what’s been happening, but to give you an idea included in this time period has been major surgery for my Mum, my Grandmother spending two weeks (and still counting at time of writing) in hospital and one of my dearest friends going in for yet another surgery which has not been a smooth as we would have hoped.

So over the last couple of months there have been highs, there have been a lot of lows, there have been intense emotions and there have been moments of numbness.

It’s at times like this that you need support.

Do you allow your friends to support you?

I’ll be the first to admit that there have been times that I’ve been running around trying to help everyone else out and I’ve committed the cardinal sin of losing focus on my own self-care.

(Side note…this lack of self-care has now been addressed and a much more calm and peaceful Claire has emerged…balance is being restored gradually…)

But in addition to self-care times like this are the times that you need good friends.

…in fact, it’s not just good friends you need, it’s great friends.

Amazing friends.

Wonderful friends.

Friends who know you, your heart and soul so well that they instinctively give you exactly what you need.

So what are the 6 types of friend every woman needs in times of crisis?

…and over this slightly challenging period of time that I’ve been experiencing I’ve identified the 6 types of friend that every woman needs to help get her through, and today I want to share them with you:

  1. The Venting Friend – When things aren’t exactly going the way that you’d like them to it’s great to have a friend with whom you can just vent. Even those of us who have been treading the path of personal development for some time now aren’t immune to the feelings of frustration and general annoyance that sometimes bubble up to the surface. Now I’m not suggesting for a second that this is where you want to live, but I also believe that it’s not health to deny or distract yourself from these feelings when they do appear. Emotions serve a reason, the only way to release them is to allow yourself to feel them so that you can then let them go. So it’s great to have a friend with whom you don’t need to be aware, or conscious, or reasonable…someone you can have a good rant to and get it all out of your system.
  2. The Love Bug – When things are a bit crappy you can end up feeling a little low and there’s nothing better than having a friend who makes you feel nothing but pure unconditional love. Someone with whom you can totally be yourself, who you know accepts you totally exactly as you are, who listens without judgment, and whose energy lifts you up when it feels like nothing short of a fork lift will do. These friends are like rays of sunshine, making you feel warm and enveloped, reminding you that you’re never alone and that there’s always someone there walking by your side.
  3. The Question Master – When you’re struggling a bit sometimes the last thing you need is someone telling you what to do. But one of the best types of friend knows this, and rather than telling you the answers, asks you the questions that will help you come to them yourself. The best thing about this friend is that they normally don’t have the answers themselves…and they know they don’t…but they help you to find them through simply being present and listening when you speak and then asking the questions that help you pick through the muddle that your mind is in….and show the clear blue skies on the other side.
  4. The Mirror – Every woman needs a mirror she can rely on…and I’m not speaking about the glass kind. The mirror friend is the one who listens patiently while you speak, holds space for whatever you’re feeling and sharing, and then simply reflects back to you when it’s helpful. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own ‘stuff’ that having someone who can see it clearly to reflect it back to us can make all the difference. They have the emotional distance from what you’re experiencing to be able to see things that sometimes our haze of emotions can obscure.
  5. The Jester – Sometimes when all is a little bit rubbish, it’s good to have someone who can just make you smile, make you laugh, remind you that in spite of all the clouds around, there is a little sunshine too. Someone who can be there to lighten the mood, to lift your spirits and to make you realise that everything will be alright…eventually 🙂
  6. The Friend Who Knows – These friends are the best. They are a little bit spooky, in the best possible way. These are the people who just KNOW when you need them. Maybe you don’t speak very often, maybe you’ve been out of touch for a while, but for some reason at the time that you need them most, they’re just there. They send you a message, pop a photo on your facebook wall, or call out of the blue saying “You kept popping into my head and I just wanted to check that everything was OK?” They know you, they sense when things aren’t quite right, and they’re right there just when you need them.

The beauty of these 6 types of friends is that they’re not mutually exclusive, but they also can be. You can have 6 different people who fill each of the 6 roles, or you can have one person who covers them all.

So how do you find friends like this?

I’m lucky…I have a number of friends who cover more than one of these types, and some who cover them all.

Most importantly I have a core of very close people, my soul family, who know me, love me and accept me, completely unconditionally, exactly as I am. I wish for you to find and cultivate friendships like these in your life.

…and how do you find friends like this? It’s simple. You be a friend like this.

It doesn’t mean that everyone you meet will instantly become this kind of friend, but it does mean that when you meet the ones who could…you’ll create an instantaneous, deep and mutually fulfilling connection…the likes of which you can’t imagine until you’ve experienced it firsthand.

Oh, and the last thing to mention? Having these types of friends is great. But they can only do their thang if you reach out and let them.

So being this kind of friend is important. Equally important is allowing these amazing people to be this kind of friend to you.

Reach out.

Call them.

Let them know you need their support.

…and then allow yourself to receive, and show your gratitude when you do.

Friends like this are worth their weight in gold….and I’m lucky enough to have my very own personal goldrush. I hope you are too…

…and today I’m dedicating this article to the phenomenal friends in my life. I love each and every one of your deeply, from the bottom of my heart.

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

8 replies
  1. Kim Boudreau Smith
    Kim Boudreau Smith says:

    Claire, I am big on having my village of support around me. I have my friends, mentors and a business/life coach. It took me awhile to open up to my friends and when I did, a weeding process began of my garden of friends. It hurt at first, however,I am much stronger and have the strength from my village for my peaks and valley’s of life!

    Kim

    Reply
    • Claire
      Claire says:

      I know a lot of women will resonate with your experience Kim…often we fall into friendships through convenience, location or common interest without consciously choosing those who have similar values to our own. It can be difficult when you first become conscious of who you have around you, and even more so who you want around you, but the short term challenge is so worth the long term gain. Having people around you who accept you totally, will support you in the way you want and need and love you unconditionally is such a beautiful experience, and one I encourage every woman to seek out for herself… x

      Reply
  2. Patty Farmer
    Patty Farmer says:

    Claire,
    I love this article! I am very blessed to have a circle of friends that have been a part of my life for over 25 years and I have always wondered why whenever anything happens in my life, good, bad or ugly instinctively I always know which one to call first that ALWAYS knows exactly the perfect thing to say or ask to put things into perspective and get me back on track or just to show up. I am going to share this with them all. Thank you for making me realize even more how blessed I am.
    Patty

    Reply
    • Claire
      Claire says:

      You’re very welcome Patty – it’s great to have amazing friends in our lives, and it’s also wonderful to have a reminder to acknowledge them and say how grateful we are for their love and support…I love that your intuition is always guiding you to the right person at the right time for you…and delighted to know that the article has helped you to realise how blessed you are. Thank you for sharing x

      Reply
  3. Terry Wildemann
    Terry Wildemann says:

    Loved this post! I’m lucky to have a circle of friends from childhood, the military and my business who have supported me on every level. Recently I had a challenging event and friends from each circle surrounded me with loving care that boosted me back up got me on track. It’s such a blessing to have caring friends in one’s life.

    Reply
    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Thank you for sharing Terry – it’s at the times of challenge where you get to realise and enjoy true friendship, the kind that picks you up when your feet get a little lost. I’m thrilled to hear so many women here are as blessed as I am x

      Reply
  4. Noni Boon
    Noni Boon says:

    Oh Claire, that’s so beautiful. I too am blessed with amazing friends and I have to admit, sometimes I stay quiet and stoic in times of struggle simply because I don’t want to burden my friends. When it all gets too much, I have a trusted counsellor however I have one amazing girlfriend who gets her ear bashed at least once a week as we ride our horses out into the bush and download our lives in minute detail. Here’s to you girlfriend.

    Reply
    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Noni, I totally relate to what you’re saying, I used to stay quiet when things were challenging, because I didn’t want to burden my friends, but I then asked myself “How would I feel if my friend was going through a difficult time, but didn’t reach out to me because she didn’t want to burden me?” I realised I would be really upset and I would want to be able to help her out and by not telling me she was denying me that gift. At that point I realised how sharing with my friends allows them to give to me, and actually makes them feel more able to share in return when they’re having struggles. The more we reach out, the more we give others permission to do the same…and the deeper and more real our connections are as a result. My friends actually make a point of thanking me when I reach out and share with them and let them help me when I need it, and I love that they make a point of acknowledging my openness and willingness to let them in… x

      Reply

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