So last week I shared an article about the importance of sisterhood for women like us, and how to understand the difference between acquaintances, friendship and sisterhood.
Understanding the importance, value and power of these kinds of relationships with other women is something that has dramatically changed my life.
But understanding that you want these kinds of relationships with other women doesn’t mean that they’re magically going to appear.
Are you looking for women like this?
Well, being honest, knowing that these are the kinds of relationships you want with other women will mean that you become more aware of the people that you’re meeting, more aware of the people around you and more aware of the kind of women you want to spend time with.
This awareness is the first step towards creating these kinds of relationships with other women.
It’s like when you go shopping for something. If you know what you’re looking for (and what you’re not looking for) it’s a little bit easier to find. You head straight to the store or department that has the kind of thing you’re looking for, and when you get there it’s often easy for you to notice the things that fit what you’re looking for, and for you to rule out those that don’t.
Likewise if you’re looking to create deep relationships with other women, there are some places where you’re more likely to connect with women of a similar mind and heart than others.
Where do you find these kinds of women?
For example if you’re wanting to connect with others who understand and embrace what it means to be a woman, are curious about femininity and what it might mean to them and creating connections with like-hearted women, then looking for those kinds of connections with highly driven ‘ball-busting’ corporate women at a high-powered business networking event might not be the ideal starting point.
On the other hand, in online or local communities for women to connect, share and grow together (like the Feminine 1st Facebook Group for example) you may find other women who are looking for the same sorts of connections as you are.
How do you find the women who will become YOUR soul sisters?
When it comes to meeting and connecting with the women who will become your soul sisters, there are a few pieces of advice that I can offer from my own personal experience:
- Find women who you resonate with – My soul sisters are the women who ‘get me’, the ones who just seem to be on the same wavelength…the ones who I can say the most seemingly nonsensical things, and who still understand me. They are women who are in a similar space in their lives, who can relate to where I’m at, my experiences, my life…the ups and the downs! We take similar approaches to our lives, businesses and relationships and we have similar values.
- Embrace Diversity – Although it helps to connect with women who are similar to you, there’s already one of you, you don’t need another! Appreciate and value the differences between you and the women in your life…it’s these differences that can allow you to help each other grow, to offer different perspectives, to shed light on areas that to you were covered in shadow and to bring a richness to each of your lives that fills it with vivid colours and textures.
- Don’t expect them to be perfect – We are all human, and we all come with the full range of qualities, traits, imperfections and idiosyncrasies that that brings. Your soul sisters are no different. Sisterhood is not about perfection…it’s about being real, authentic, all of you. Your soul sisters will trigger you, drive you crazy at times and do things that you’d rather they didn’t….as you will do for them. Sisterhood is about loving and accepting them in everything that they are, no exceptions.
- Find women with courage – Sisterhood is challenging at times. You want your sisters to have the courage to be vulnerable with you, to trust you, who will choose acceptance over judgement, who will challenge you (even when it’s hard), who will reflect back to you the things you can’t see for yourself and who will help you to grow, learn and understand what it is to be a woman.
- Go first – One of the hardest and scariest things in sisterhood is going first. We often want to wait for the other person to show that it’s safe by paving the way, opening up first and showing how it’s done. If you really want to create these kinds of relationships, then be prepared to go first…by doing so you will invite women in who otherwise might not have had the courage to take that first step, and in doing so you open yourself up to having an amazing, deep relationship that otherwise wouldn’t have been realised.
- Follow your intuition – When looking to connect with other like-minded and like-hearted women, your intuition can be a phenomenal guide. Listen to your instincts, what does your gut tell you? If you feel drawn to someone, or you feel like you want to get to know someone better, follow that feeling…in my experience it always guides us in the right direction. One of the women who is closest to me in life is only in my life because I followed my intuition. We were at an event, and I kept noticing her from a distance, but the opportunity never presented itself for us to actually meet. I couldn’t explain it, but I had this really strong feeling that she and I needed to connect, so after a while of us ‘missing’ each other, I made a beeline for her and introduced myself. We chatted for a couple of minutes, swapped details, and went on our way. As we lived over 5,000 miles apart the opportunity for a deep friendship to develop seemed unlikely. We connected via the usual social media means and dipped in and out of each other’s lives from time to time over the coming months. About 6 months after we first met we spoke on Skype for a couple of hourse, and then 18 months later I went and stayed with her for three weeks on a trip to the US. Today she is one of my dearest friends and closest soul sisters…nothing a measly 5,000 can get in the way of…and we would never have connected if I hadn’t followed my intuition.
- Be the woman you want to find – If you want to create sisterhood, the first and by far the most important step is being the kind of woman yourself who you want to create a sisterhood with. As you know, life is a mirror, it reflects back what you are, or what you need to know…so if you want to create beautiful, deep, mutually supportive and fulfilling relationships with incredible, open, genuine, vulnerable women…you first need to be this yourself. If you want someone who will accept you without judgement, be the woman who does that for others. If you want someone who will be vulnerable and let you in, be the woman who shows her vulnerability to others. If you want someone who shows compassion, be the woman who shows compassion.
So if you want to create these kinds of relationships with other women in your life, these are the ways for you to find the sort of women that you really want to connect with at a deep level.
But when you’ve found these women, then what?
How do you create sisterhood? What does it look like?
Well, that is where the magic happens…so come back next week, when I will be sharing with you how to create these kinds of relationships with the women in your life, and what sisterhood really means, what it really looks like…and how it can change your life.
In the meantime though remember, be the kind of woman who you want to have these kinds of relationship with. Once you begin doing that, you’ll be surprised what shows up…