Friends are awesome.
My life is blessed because of the great friends that I have in it….I’m lucky enough to have some truly amazing friends spread across the globe.
When I was much younger though, I had some challenges with my friendships. I am a very giving person, and I often found myself feeling like I was doing all of the giving and I wasn’t necessarily receiving as much in return.
In fact, many years ago my best friend said something to me that really stuck a chord.
“You’re a really hard person to be friends with”
I felt like I’d been hit with a sledgehammer.
I couldn’t understand…I always thought I was a good friend…my friendships were one of the most important things in my life. There was almost nothing I wouldn’t do for my friends (within reason!)
So why was it so hard to be my friend?!
She continued, ”Well you give so much to your friends, you expect the same from them in return”.
Interesting…it gave me something to think about.
What was ridiculous was that for a long time I expected to be able to get all of my friendship needs met by just one or two people.
The thing with friends is that they are like any kind of close relationship…if you rely on one person to give you everything that you need it puts a lot of pressure on that person and the relationship. More importantly as our needs can be quite diverse, expecting one or two people to meet them all is a bit unrealistic!
So, I’ve compiled a list of the 10 types of friend that every girl should have in her life…how many do you have?
- The Shoulder to Cry on – For when it all falls apart and you don’t want anything more than someone to talk to, to cry on, to give you a hug, eat ice cream with you and allow you to be as emotional as you need to be.
- The Butt-Kicker – For when you need a little tough-love, someone who will give you a gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) encouragement to do something you know you either want or need to do.
- The Totally Honest Friend – Someone who will be completely and totally honest with you. You might have people around you who will tell you what they think you want to hear, because they want you to be happy…but there are times when complete honesty is actually what you need!
- The Pure Fun Friend – Someone to cut loose with and just have fun!! There may not be much depth to this friendship, but that’s ok…you have other people for that…this friend is just about being able to enjoy yourself with a great friend, because you can.
- The Male Friend – Men can be something of a mystery to us ladies, and having someone who can translate for you can really help. It’s also good to have someone around who can balance the scales a bit if you’ve been hurt and are going through the well-trodden “All men suck” phase, and remind you that they’re not all bad… 🙂
- The Love and Hugs Friend – Someone who you know will always be there to give you a hug and some friend-love, any time, just because you need it.
- The Gay Friend – Every girl should have a gay friend in their life…and I don’t just mean a male one. They are loads of fun and they often bring a unique viewpoint to the table on relationship advice. If you have a male gay friend they are also great at rebuilding your confidence and faith in the male species after a breakup and make excellent shopping buddies!
- The Free Spirit – It’s great to have someone in your life who is a bit of a free-spirit. Someone to inspire you, to remind you to dream and not to take everything so seriously.
- The Wise Friend – A friend who can give sage advice is invaluable. This is often someone who has been there and done that (and owns an entire wardrobe of t-shirts) and who is only too happy to share their experiences and wisdom.
- The Friend who allows you to be a Friend to them – Probably one of the most important friends you can have is the one who allows you to give back to them. Not all people do this, some prefer to keep things on the surface…but when you find someone who you can give and receive from, that’s when the connection becomes that much deeper.
It’s possible that you may have friends who fulfill more than one of these descriptions…for example, you may have a love and hugs friend who’s also a free spirit….or the gay friend who’s also the fun friend….but just don’t expect people to fulfill more than one role.
Love them for who they are and what they bring to your life, and get your other friendship needs met by the other people around you.
..and if you find one friend who can be all of these things…I’d be seriously concerned about a case of multiple personality disorder!! 😉
Most importantly, give without expectation…and you’ll be surprised how much you’ll get in return.