Have you ever had a 69?

Laughing WomanI’m imagining that when you first saw the title of today’s post, you probably did a bit of a double take.

I can imagine you saying to yourself “I didn’t know Feminine 1st was THAT kind of site!”

…to be honest I’ll be quite intrigued to see what my visitor stats for today are…I’m betting they’ll be higher than your average Monday… 😉

So it’s a controversial title…and for good reason.

You see, today’s post is essential reading for anyone…whether you’re feminine, masculine, male, female, old young…it doesn’t matter.

This applies to you.

I guarantee at some point in your life you’ve had a 69…or maybe it was a 96?

Because at times we all get caught up in our own view of the world. We forget that there is another way to look at things.

So what on earth does this have to do with the number 69?

Let me explain.

Imagine that you’re standing directly opposite someone, arms length apart and that you’ve drawn on the floor in front of you a huge number 6.

Number 6If someone were to come along and ask you what you’ve drawn on the floor, the answer would be simple. It’s a number 6. There would be absolutely no doubt in your mind, that it is a number 6. You would be able to clearly see that it is a number 6. If someone suggested that it is a different number altogether, it’s highly likely that you would (respectfully and calmly, I’m sure) confirm that it isn’t another number….it is in fact a number 6.

…and you would be right.

Number 9Now imagine for a moment that you are the person standing opposite you. If someone were to come along and ask them what has been drawn on the floor in front of them, they would have no doubt in their mind that it is a number 9. They would be able to see clearly that it is a number 9. If someone suggested that it was, in fact, a different number…they would be absolutely convinced that it is a number 9…not any other number.

….and they would be right.

If these two people were to have a conversation about the number in front of them, if they only looked at what they could see, and didn’t stop to consider another angle, each would be absolutely convinced that they knew better.

It’s definitely a 6…no, it’s definitely a 9…

How many times have you been in a situation like this, where you were absolutely convinced that you knew the answer, and were in a conversation where someone else was sure that they knew the answer…but the two answers were different?

Often we are so quick to show that we are right that we don’t realise that in the process of showing that we are right, we often imply (or even state outright!) that the other person is wrong.

It happens a lot.

If only we took the time to mentally walk around to the other side of the circle we’d see that both perspectives are valid. Neither right, neither wrong…just different.

I recently had an experience with a 69 situation. I had one perspective, and someone else had a completely different one. Neither was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’…they were just different…whether due to a misunderstanding, miscommunication or just the fact that we each had slightly different perspectives.

If you want to resolve a situation like this, it always helps to accept responsibility for whatever part you might have played in the confusion and find a resolution or compromise, or at least agree to disagree on good terms.

So if you find yourself in a situation like this in the future, remember the ‘triple S’ approach:

  • Stop – Stop yourself and just pause for a moment.
  • Switch – Switch your perspective around and look for another way to view it.
  • See – See the situation from the other person’s point of view, put yourself in their shoes and see how you might feel in their position.

You don’t have to agree with another person’s point of view, in order to understand and respect it…and being able to show that you can see where they’re coming from will make life a lot easier for everyone.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

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