Are you _____ Enough?

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Are you _____ enough?Everyone has at least one.
Most people have more than one.
Several people have a lot.
A lot of what?The blanks.

The blanks that complete the following sentences:

I’m not _________ enough

I wish I was __________ enough

Will I ever be ________ enough

Why aren’t I ________ enough

If only I could be _______ enough

When will I be __________ enough

…and what are the blanks?  Take your pick, there’s plenty to choose from:

I’m not pretty enough

I’m not smart enough

I’m not thin enough

I’m not feminine enough

I’m not funny enough

I’m not good enough

I’m not desirable enough

I’m not successful enough

I’m not adventurous enough

I’m not giving enough

I’m not doing enough

I’m not happy enough

I’m not sexy enough

I’m not strong enough

I could easily fill this whole page and still not run out of words.But the blanks aren’t the problem.The blanks seem like the problem, but in reality the problem comes from the end of the sentence.  Enough.The question that no-one ever asks themselves is “What is ‘enough’ anyway?”How will we know when we’re enough? How will we feel when we’re enough?  What will enough look like?

Enough compared to….

When we use this dangerous term (enough should be the new four letter word if you ask me), we are subconsciously comparing ourselves.

We’re not enough compared to what?

Well often the first thought here is ‘other people’

People often compare themselves to friends, family or celebrities. They think “I’m not skinny enough compared to <<name the latest size zero celeb>>” or I’m not pretty enough compared to <<name friend / family member or colleague>>”, or “I’m not successful enough compared to <<name colleague, friend or the latest billionaire entrepreneur>>”.

At least when you do it this way, you stand a chance.  Because if they’re real people, they also have real problems, real challenges and real flaws the same as everyone else.

But for most people they’re not comparing themselves to others.

Oh no, they go one better.

They compare themselves to this picture perfect idealised version of themselves that is humanly impossible to achieve.  Expecting themselves to be absolutely perfect, and describing themselves as ‘not enough’ when they don’t measure up.

This version of themselves looks perfect, has the perfect career, the perfect relationship, the perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect lifestyle, and always does, says and behaves in a perfect way.

It was exhausting even writing that!!

But comparing yourself to it on a weekly, daily or even hourly basis is completely and totally debilitating.

You’re setting yourself up to feel bad, before you’ve even begun.

The question is, what is enough?

What does the word even mean?  Well, to put it succinctly it means adequate.

…and so every time we question whether we are ________ enough, we are telling ourselves that we are inadequate.

I challenge you to show me any woman anywhere who isn’t adequate, who isn’t enough exactly as she is.

You won’t find one.

Why?

Because we’re born enough….we just spend the next however many years we get to hang out on this planet convincing ourselves that we’re not.

…and it’s bullshit.

Because we are enough, just as we are.

Enough is Enough with Enough

If you ask me, you’re more than enough.

You’re everything you need to be and more.

You see if enough is all about achieving a standard of perfection, you’re already there.

Because you’re perfectly imperfect, just like me.

Which means that you are enough, right here, right now, just as you are.

So I invite you this week to notice all of the places where you use the word enough, out loud, in your own mind….and even all of the places where it hangs silently, not being said explicitly but hovering nonetheless in the back of your mind.

..and every time this new expletive appears, I would like you to find the nearest reflective surface, look yourself in the eye, smile and say 7 simple words, and mean them from the heart…

 

“I am enough, just as I am”
Then allow yourself to absorb it.
Simple.  To the point.  True.
…and any time you hear your inner voice starting to argue back with bullshit stories or made up ‘reasons’ why that’s not true, you get to add another 3 words to the sentence.
“Thanks for sharing.
I am enough, just as I am”
…and notice the difference it makes in how you feel.Because you know you arrived in this world as a gorgeous diamond….beautiful and full of sparkle.
You’ve just allowed your inner critic and the rest of the world to dull your shine a little bit…so it’s time to get out the polishing cloth and realise that the beautiful, flawless, sparkling diamond is still there, and by you seeing it’s value it can shine even brighter.
Be gentle with yourself, and recognise how brightly your diamond still shines…especially when you see and appreciate its value.Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

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