Are you so busy ‘doing’ that you forget about the ‘being’?

Are you so busy doing you forget about the beingEveryone has a lot to do.

In fact, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t got a little too much to do.Or a lot too much to do.I don’t remember ever hearing someone say “You know, I just don’t have enough to do at the moment…I could really use a little more on my plate”

I was actually joking about it with a friend last night, he works late on a regular basis, and we were laughing about the fact that no matter how much gets done, there never seems to be less to do.  I joked that I can’t see his boss ever turning around and saying, “Relax, we don’t have much to do today…”, in fact if anything he’s liable to crack the whip even more.

I’m a very busy person.

I’m willing to bet money that you’re probably a very busy person too.

Women especially tend to take a lot on ourselves.

Our ‘to do’ lists are bursting at the seems.

We have things to do for work, for our job, whether we work for ourselves or someone else, there’s always something that needs doing.

There are things to do at home, tidying, cleaning, washing, cooking…the general basics for most human beings.

We have things to do for our fitness…we want to go to the gym, or do yoga, or go running.

We have things to do for our friends, whether that’s spending time with them, remembering to buy birthday cards, or being there for them when they’re going through their latest challenges.

We have things to do for our families, to be a good daughter, sister, niece, mother, granddaughter, auntie…and any other role that comes to mind.

We have things to do for our health, we want to eat right, drink right, and know which are the best foods to be putting into our bodies

We have things to do for our growth and development…books to read, audio programs to listen to, videos to watch, seminars to attend, processing to do, beliefs to shift, challenges to release.

We have things to do for our finances…bills to pay, credit cards to keep an eye on, bank statements to check.

We have things to do for our enjoyment, we have dance classes to attend, gigs to go to, bars and restaurants to visit, museums to visit…


Hang on a second.

We have things to ‘do’ for our enjoyment.

Do you remember about the ‘being’?

The list of things on the ‘to do’ list is exhausting enough…but having stuff on there that we need to do in order to enjoy ourselves, that just sounds like more pressure to me.How often do you just forget about the ‘to do’ list and allow yourself to just be?Are you aware that ‘doing’ is a much more masculine trait, than a feminine one?  Femininity is more about ‘being’, masculinity is more focused on the results, the end game, the outcome and what needs to be ‘done’ in order to achieve it.

If we want to really connect with our femininity, we need to be able to let go of our focus on the doing, and embrace the being.

Does being mean I don’t do anything?

This doesn’t mean we don’t do anything…it’s just that we allow ourselves time and space to be as well…we find the balance of the two that’s right for us.

Real feminine enjoyment comes from the ‘being’, in the moment, appreciating the now…not in the doing!

Our lives have become a great big pressure cooker, and often the approaches we take (normally through habit rather than choice or design) just serve to turn the heat up even more!

So how do we release the pressure valve?

Because if we don’t release the pressure valve, you know what will happen.  Eventually the pressure will become too much and we’ll just explode…and nobody wants that.

How do I make the shift from doing to being?

So here are 6 shifts in perspective that can help you to release that pressure valve, avoid the explosion and embrace more of your femininity.

1. Being rather than doing – We know about everything we need to ‘do’…but do you make time to just be?  It can be as simple and straight forward as just pausing for a moment, clear your mind, take a deep breath and allow yourself to just be.  This is something that some women find challenging so there are a number of techniques that I share with women I work with to help them with this.   But having a couple of minutes of quiet time, without being overwhelmed with thoughts of things to do can make a big difference.

2. Allowing rather than pushing – If you’re trying to push anything, a person, an object, even yourself, it takes effort.  Allowing means that you can relax, it doesn’t take any effort whatsoever, you just let it happen.  Imagine pushing someone through a door, and feel in your body how much effort it would take.  Now imagine just allowing them to walk through it…how does that feel by comparison?

3. Nourishing rather than draining – We are living, breathing creatures and we only have a certain amount of energy within us.  If we take an approach that drains the body…eventually the tank will be empty.  But if we choose to nourish ourselves along the way, we will never run out of energy for ourselves or for those around us.

4. Requesting rather than demanding – When was the last time that you said ‘no’ to yourself?  We don’t tend to give ourselves a choice, we demand, we expect, and we require.  If you can shift from demanding to requesting, you allow yourself the space to say no, if it serves you to do so.

5. Choosing rather than avoiding – There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re avoiding something…so instead powerfully choose what is right for you in that moment.  If it’s to ‘not do’ something, then allow yourself to choose that, to enjoy choosing that, and to release any guilt around it because it is a choice you’re making.

6. Noticing rather than ignoring – When the pressure starts to build, the signs begin to show.  Our energy levels may lower, we may get a little ill, we might get a little short-tempered…but we tend to push on, and ignore the red flags that are waving at us from all angles. If we can notice these signals, and make a shift to release the pressure valve early, we can avoid the explosion.

I made the mistake recently of doing a little too much doing…and I felt drained as a result.  So, after a little reminder I’m now back to daily nourishing goddess yoga sessions, time to nurture myself by painting my nails or having a bubble bath…just finding little moments in time for me to enjoy and appreciate being, and letting the need to do melt away for a little while.

So I invite you this week to enjoy just being…and see how it feels to release the pressure valve a little….

Stay Fabulous,

Claire x

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