One of the comments that I often hear when discussing the topic of femininity is “But femininity is all about being pink, fluffy and girly…and that’s just not me…so I’m not feminine”.
I’m curious as to where this concept of feminine = pink and fluffy came from. Do you know? The reason I ask is that whenever I ask for celebrity examples of feminine women, there’s not a pink or fluffy person among them.
As you may know, recently I did surveys of both women and men to get their thoughts and ideas on femininity.
As part of the survey I asked for ladies in the public eye that are good examples of feminine women.
The list of examples was wide and varied, and I couldn’t possibly include them all here (you’d be here all week reading them!) But there were a few women who were mentioned frequently by both the men and the women.
These three ladies were Kate Winslet, Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton.
The first think to note is that not one of these ladies could be described as pink, or fluffy.
The second thing is that they are all vastly different to each other. We have an Oscar winning Hollywood sweetheart, the international queen of burlesque and England’s newest Princess.
I don’t think that many people would describe Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton as being particularly alike!
So if these ladies are all great examples of feminine women, and they are all so different, what is it that they have in common?
What makes them good examples of feminine women?
They are being totally true to themselves. Their words, actions, image, behaviour, are all completely aligned.
The thing to remember is that femininity is not one-size-fits-all. It is completely and totally unique to each woman, because each woman is completely and totally unique.
You don’t have to dress a certain way to be feminine.
You don’t have to do your hair and make up a certain way to be feminine.
You don’t have to act a certain way.
You don’t have to say certain things.
Femininity is not something that you put on, like a favourite dress or pair of shoes.
It is something that radiates from the inside out.
If you really are feminine inside, what’s on the outside doesn’t matter at all…people will see it. And vice versa.
If a masculine woman walked into a room in a pink dress covered in lace, people would still see that she was masculine at her core because the packaging doesn’t change who she is inside.
If a feminine woman walked into a room in jeans, a T-shirt and trainers with her hair scraped back and no makeup at all, it wouldn’t matter…people would see the femininity radiating through.
Femininity is a state of mind, a state of being.
…no pink or fluffy required.