But I'm not pink and fluffy

But I’m not pink and fluffy!

But I'm not pink and fluffyOne of the comments that I often hear when discussing the topic of femininity is “But femininity is all about being pink, fluffy and girly…and that’s just not me…so I’m not feminine”.

I’m curious as to where this concept of feminine = pink and fluffy came from. Do you know? The reason I ask is that whenever I ask for celebrity examples of feminine women, there’s not a pink or fluffy person among them.

As you may know, recently I did surveys of both women and men to get their thoughts and ideas on femininity.

As part of the survey I asked for ladies in the public eye that are good examples of feminine women.

The list of examples was wide and varied, and I couldn’t possibly include them all here (you’d be here all week reading them!) But there were a few women who were mentioned frequently by both the men and the women.

These three ladies were Kate Winslet, Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton.

The first think to note is that not one of these ladies could be described as pink, or fluffy.

The second thing is that they are all vastly different to each other. We have an Oscar winning Hollywood sweetheart, the international queen of burlesque and England’s newest Princess.

I don’t think that many people would describe Dita Von Teese and Kate Middleton as being particularly alike!

So if these ladies are all great examples of feminine women, and they are all so different, what is it that they have in common?

What makes them good examples of feminine women?

One word.


They are being totally true to themselves. Their words, actions, image, behaviour, are all completely aligned.

The thing to remember is that femininity is not one-size-fits-all. It is completely and totally unique to each woman, because each woman is completely and totally unique.

You don’t have to dress a certain way to be feminine.

You don’t have to do your hair and make up a certain way to be feminine.

You don’t have to act a certain way.

You don’t have to say certain things.

Femininity is not something that you put on, like a favourite dress or pair of shoes.

It is something that radiates from the inside out.

If you really are feminine inside, what’s on the outside doesn’t matter at all…people will see it. And vice versa.

If a masculine woman walked into a room in a pink dress covered in lace, people would still see that she was masculine at her core because the packaging doesn’t change who she is inside.

If a feminine woman walked into a room in jeans, a T-shirt and trainers with her hair scraped back and no makeup at all, it wouldn’t matter…people would see the femininity radiating through.

Femininity is a state of mind, a state of being.

…no pink or fluffy required.

Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

11 replies
  1. Babs (dumphimlove)
    Babs (dumphimlove) says:

    I think there is some confusion about what feminine means? As you say there are numerous ways to interpret feminine and for me it’s not about the way I dress. I would label pink and fluffy as girly and I think there is something sad about a desire to remain girly. But perhaps that’s the subject of another post. We dress or used to dress girls in pink to denote gender. I would like to think we are not so eager to constrain our children in that way but perhaps it still applies? I enjoyed reading the post 🙂

  2. Victoria @ XoXoXocalatier.com
    Victoria @ XoXoXocalatier.com says:

    Agree. I don’t own a single “pink” thing, but a portrait of my cat, which is Pink, but that’s because her name was “Piggy Fluffy Duster” – with a capital MISS before it 🙂 I think the use of pink used in “Miss Piggy”, “Sex in the City”, “Pink Ribbon Campaigns,” etc., are different degrees of empowerment shades of pink, with the pink reminding us of the “purity” of being a girl. Pink is girl, Blue is boy in its purest form. Be pure to your core, but you decide what shade of pink you are. Myself – I’m definitely Magenta swaying towards Plum. 🙂 That’s what all these women in your post, and all members of Feminine 1st are, we are all being pure to our inner core. Flesh is pink, we’re just keeping it real – in new funky stylish shades of course 🙂

  3. AmazingSusan
    AmazingSusan says:

    Being feminine to me means being a strong, confident, sexy, sensual, engaged and engaging woman.

    I’m #PINK and fluffy as well as fuchsia and feisty:


    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a girly girl. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a sporty “tomboy” girl. As Claire says, it has do with authenticity. Be who you are, whatever that may be.

    Finally, I think we are all multidimensional. We do ourselves a disservice by putting ourselves into ANY pigeonhole – why not fully explore and express the range and diversity that comprise our true selves?


    • Claire
      Claire says:

      I couldn’t agree more Susan…and I love that post of yours…it’s bubbly, energetic and comes across as you, 100% through and through! 🙂

  4. Sharon Koenig
    Sharon Koenig says:

    I remember reading somewhere that some time in the 1800’s, the color for boys was pink and girls was blue. I don’t know why it changed to the way it is today. I definately see where women today pick up on the whole wearing pink is girly thing. Especially in the gym which I think is great, personally. It’s better than wearing drab colors. I don’t think looking feminine is about color at all. My teenage boy sees young girls not looking feminine at all with their baggy pants and lazy t-shirts. I think our society as a whole has gotten away from looking feminine. Just throwing on pink and ruffles doesn’t suddenly transform us but it does make you “feel” more feminine.

    • Claire
      Claire says:

      I couldn’t agree more Sharon…I often explain to people that wearing certain things and doing certain things doesn’t ‘make’ you feminine (that comes from the inside) but it can enhance how you feel 🙂 I also remember seeing something about the pink / blue conversation recently, but I’ve not been able to find anything definitive. I’ve found this article: http://jezebel.com/5790638/the-history-of-pink-for-girls-blue-for-boys which seems to imply that the manufacturers decided in the 40s that pink was for girls and blue was for boys…and that’s where the definition happened… At the end of the day, what you wear on the outside doesn’t define who you are on the inside any more than your skin colour, eye colour, or hair colour does…it’s what inside that counts…and it will radiate out no matter what you’re dressed in! 🙂


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