Do you give the gift of your presence?

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EyesWe all know that women are masters of multitasking…and with life the way that it is these days it’s a good thing too!

We always have so much on our minds…we have an ever-growing ‘to do’ list and our we are often thinking three steps ahead of where we actually are.

This is the lifestyle that so many of us have got used to.

When we’re doing our hair in the morning, we’re thinking of the things that we need to buy when we’re next at the supermarket.

As we’re driving to work we’re mentally creating our to-do list of things that need doing around the house.

When we’re in a meeting we have half of our mind on the email we need to remember to send when we get back to our desks.

We’ve got so used to splitting our attention and focusing on lots of things at once that it’s very easy to miss what’s going on in the moment.

How many times have you got to the end of a car journey and thought “I can’t remember half of what happened on the road”.

The answer is probably ‘too many’.

How often have you been asked a question in a meeting and had to fumble through an answer because you weren’t really listening to what was being said?

The answer is likely to be ‘more than I’d like to admit’.

Have you ever started a sentence and forgotten half way through what you were going to say because you got distracted with another thought along the way?

The chances are the answer is ‘Yes’. I know I have.

We spend so much time bouncing between the different thoughts and ideas in our own minds that we often don’t fully experience the situation that we’re in.

When we do this we’re cheating ourselves from really enjoying and experiencing fully the moment that we’re in.

This is not only a challenge for you, but also for those who you spend time with.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone when in the middle of you saying something they check their phone / watch / laptop?

I’m guessing the odds are pretty high.

How did you feel in that moment?

Unimportant?

Insignificant?

Lower in priority than something else on their mind?

It would be perfectly understandable if you did.

Not only that, but it’s more than likely that by being distracted, they might have actually missed out on something you said that could have been important or of value to them.

In those moments, I’m guessing that all you really wanted from the person that you were with was their undivided attention. Their time, their understanding, their presence.

…and if this is what you want from the people in your life, do you think it might be what they want from you?

So when you’re taking time for someone who means something to you…whether that’s a friend, partner, family member, colleague remember to give them the gift of your presence.

Really be there in that moment with them.

Leave the phone where it is. Ignore Facebook. Resist the temptation to check your email.

Give them your attention and your focus. Actively listen to what they have to say.

It will have a huge impact on your relationship with them, as they will feel that you are really ‘being there’ for them and that they have your full attention and support.

Also, they may have something to say that is really important for you to hear…it might seem small at the time, but if you don’t hear it then the moment has passed….and it won’t come around again.

All we can ever be sure of in life is this moment right now. Make the most of it. Give the gift of your presence both to yourself and to the people around you…you’ll be surprised the difference it will make.

Stay fabulous,

Claire x

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