As we know, one of the key traits of femininity is being real, being authentic. Embracing, being and showing every aspect of the you that you are inside.
I did a radio interview a few weeks ago, and one of the questions that the lovely host asked me was “If you had to do the elevator pitch for how to be successful in relationships, what would you say?”
Well, to say that I was put on the spot is an understatement!
So what did I say?
“Love yourself, Be Yourself, Show Yourself and have an appreciation for the other point of view”
I realised after saying this that I’d actually missed out a vital piece of the puzzle…the starting point…know yourself.
In order to be authentically you, and therefore really connect with the authentic aspect of your feminine, it’s important that you take these four steps:
It’s very hard to be authentic if you don’t know who you are deep down inside.
I spent well over 20 years of my life not really knowing who I was at all.
I knew parts of myself, of course. I knew some of the things I liked, and some of the things I didn’t, but between living a life that I thought I ‘should’ be living, and going through many relationships where I gave up so much of myself to please my partner (a trait I’m glad to say that I’ve long-since left behind!)…I wasn’t really in touch with who ‘Claire’ really was.
It took some much needed ‘me time’, some invaluable help from coaches and mentors and some soul searching to figure out who I really was, what I really wanted, and what meant the most to me in life.
Knowing yourself means knowing all of you, the good, the not so good, and the stuff you don’t really want to admit to. When you can know and accept all the sides of you, the more at peace that you will be with yourself, and the easier to connect with your feminine it will be.
The journey is a life-long one of discovery, because we’re all changing every day with our various experiences.
I still find that every now and again something will pop up and I’ll think “Really? I never realised that about myself!”
So the question I have for you is – do you know all of you?
Knowing yourself is one thing.
Loving yourself is a whole different story.
We tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else in our lives.
We complain and criticise ourselves when we do things ‘wrong’. We chatise ourselves when we haven’t done something we ‘should’ have done. We’re quick with a degradingremark “I look fat in this”, “I’m so stupid”, “I should have known better”, “why can’t I be more like X?”
Forgetting loving ourselves…liking ourselves would be a good start!!
In order to get what we realy want in life we first need to believe that we deserve it.
In order to receive love we need to believe we deserve love, if we deserve love we deserve it first and foremost from ourselves.
Loving ourselves means acknowledging accepting and loving every part of who we are….including our perfectly imperfect parts too.
We are always with ourselves, so it’s our choice do we want to carry around out biggest critic, or our biggest fan?
When we’ve learned to love ourselves it becomes that much easier to be ourselves.
This is all about allowing ourselves to embody and be every part of who we are, at any time no matter who we’re with, where we are or what we’re doing.
Many years back I was such a chameleon that I was an entirely different aspect of myself when I was at work, with family and with different friendship groups. They were all aspects of me, but just not all of me. When I Faced the prospect of bringing all of these groups together for a milestone birthday I was celebrating it was enough to give me a panic attack!
By being the whole you all the time, you gift others the gift of everything you are and everything you bring to the table…just by being yourself.
Showing yourself takes things to the next level…this is where your vulnerability comes into its own.
In order to really connect with yourself and therefore connect with others (another key aspect of femininity) you need to be prepared to show yourself.
By sharing your fears, your concerns, your worries, your embarrassments, your hopes your dreams, your shame, your moments of pride you give others permission to do the same.
When you allow yourself to acknowledge and share out loud these parts of yourself, you’ll be surprised what other (sometimes surprising!) parts of yourself may reveal themselves to you as well.
You become so much more in tune with parts of yourself that you might not have otherwise realised were there…and so the cycle continues.
The more you show, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you can love.
The more you love, the more you can be.
The more you ‘be’, the more you can show…
So when you know yourself, love yourself, be yourself and show yourself you naturally transform every relationship in your life.
It doesnt just affect your intimate relationship, it will transform your relationships at work, with friends, family, children and most importantly with yourself.
And the part about having an appreciation for the other side?
I’ve not forgotten about it…I’ll reveal all about that next week…
In the meantime I’ll leave you with a little reminder that if you have a burning question about Femininity, Masculinity, Polarity, Dating or Relationships you can click here to find out all about the free Q&A webinar I’m hosting this Tuesday 12th March, and how to send me your question for me to answer: http://feminine1st.com/free-webinar-7-mistakes-single-women/
Until then, stay fabulous!