When I’m out and about I often hear comments about the fact that I wear a lot of pink. Most places I go, someone will smile and make a remark that I often have something pink on my person.
I also hear comments about my shoes (both colour and style) and the fact that I’m rarely seen without a pair of stilettos.
….and I’m often asked how important it is to “wear dresses”, “do my makeup” or “do my hair”.
A short while ago I wrote an article that was prompted by an email I’d received from a reader, asking whether black girls could even be feminine…and in the same email I was asked “How important is it to dress feminine?’ …I realised it’s obviously a question that people are currently asking.
What is looking feminine?
So I thought it was about time I wrote about this…and the importance of your outside appearance to ‘being feminine’.
Looking ‘feminine’ and being feminine are not the same thing.
Looking ‘feminine’ is based on an outdated idea that what you put on the outside is what matters. That wearing something designates you as feminine, or masculine….or any other label of your choice.
Let me ask you a question…. Do you think that Sylvester Stallone in a pink dress would look feminine? I doubt it very much. Because regardless of what you put on the outside, if it doesn’t affect what’s happening on the inside it’s purely superficial.
Does Pink = Feminine?
It’s widely accepted these days that pink is a colour more closely associated with girls, and blue is more closely associated with boys….but for a large number of years it was actually more popular for this to be the other way around. In 1905 Time Magazine made it clear that pink was the boys’ colour and blue was the girls’.
So does Pink = Feminine? No.
Do Dresses = Feminine? No.
Do High Heeled Shoes = Feminine? No.
Does Makeup = Feminine? No.
Do certain hairstyles = Feminine? No.
Does ANYTHING external = Feminine? No.
I can almost hear you saying, “But Claire, what about boobs? Surely they are external, and they must = Feminine?”….well, actually no, they don’t. Although the majority of women tend more to the feminine and the majority of men to the masculine, it’s not true for all of them. So it’s perfectly possible to have beautiful boobs, and still to be more masculine….so sorry, that doesn’t apply either.
So can what you wear affect how feminine you are?
So why do I wear a lot of pink? Simple – it’s one of my favourite colours. There’s nothing more to it than that (…and that when I’m somewhere associated with my business I like to wear my brand colours…the fact that they’re my favourite colours is a fabulous bonus!). It’s rare you’ll see me in baby pink…I’m a fuschia kinda girl – It’s bright, fun and has an energy about it that matches my personality.
Likewise I feel as feminine (if not maybe more so) when I’m as naked as the day I was born…though it’s not a look I tend to sport on my regular trips to London, or events I’m working at!
I have hot pink shoes, scarves, dresses, even nail colours…why? Because I like them 🙂
Does wearing pink make me more or less feminine? Not because of the colour, not at all.
But it can have an effect.
Because I love the colour, when I wear it, it lifts me. I feel more playful, fun and energetic in it than I would do in grey or brown for example.
In the same way, when I have a flowing dress on I feel great. I love the feeling of the material moving across my skin.
On the flip side, my sister hates the colour pink. If she was wearing a pink dress I can guarantee she wouldn’t be feeling more playful, fun and energetic…she’d probably be feeling irritated, annoyed and like she couldn’t get it off fast enough. So would wearing pink help her connect with her feminine? I don’t think so.
The key is, does it affect how it makes you FEEL?
Because femininity comes from a feeling…It comes from the inside out.
If it makes you FEEL more feminine, then you will naturally BE more feminine.
When you feel more feminine, you connect with aspects of the feminine. You might feel more playful, more emotionally connected, more in flow, more inspired or that you’re being more of who you really are.
So, am I the person you should model to be feminine? Only if my flavour of femininity works for you too.
I won’t ever tell you what to wear, how to do your makeup, what style to cut your hair in or what you must do in order to be feminine…because quite simply, I don’t know.
I can’t tell you what your flavour of femininity looks, sounds, or feels like…because it’s whatever makes you feel most feminine.
I can give you ideas, suggestions and guidance along the way…but ultimately it’s something that you get to discover for yourself, in the same way as I did.
Because as I’ve said before, your femininity is just that YOUR femininity. It’s as unique as you are.
Finding out what your flavour of femininity is can be a really fun journey.
…and I’m delighted I get to be a part of yours.