So what's so important about femininity anyway?

Femininity – So what’s in it for me?

So what's so important about femininity anyway?So what’s so important about Femininity anyway?

So what’s so important about Femininity? Why should we care? We’ve been proving to everyone out there, men and women alike, that we can do anything and everything that the boys can do (often quicker and better!) for decades now…so what’s the big deal? I mean, we’ve still got our heels and handbags, and that’s what matters….right? So who cares if we’ve lost a bit of our femininity along the way?

Well, the answer is (unfortunately)…we do. We just don’t necessarily realise it.

As important as our heels and handbags are (I personally worship at the altars of Blahnik and Choo on a regular basis)…our obsession with gaining ‘equality’ with the boys is costing us dearly…and while we might be aware of the symptoms…we’re completely oblivious to the cause.

You see, life is all about balance (and that doesn’t consist of a cocktail glass or shopping bag with the latest pair of killer heels in each hand…), and unfortunately balance (especially in terms of masculinity and femininity) doesn’t tend to be very high on our list of priorities.

We are trying to do it all…and we are trying to do it all without any help. We are taking on so many roles in life: girlfriend or wife, mum, career girl, daughter, friend, domestic goddess, culture vulture, chef, health & fitness poster child, entrepreneur…the list goes on!

Put simply, women these days are wearing so many hats that they could single handedly supply the entire crowd at Royal Ascot’s Ladies Day (for our international readers the hats at ladies’ day are notorious…check these out for some giggles)…and femininity is not even on our radar.

Not only are we trying to do it all…but we’re trying to do it all perfectly. We are trying to prove that we are the best…and there’s nothing that we can’t do.

So where does the femininity come in?

Now, I hate to break it to you ladies, but the need to do it all, keep control, compete with everyone around us and prove that we are the best…these are all very masculine traits.

We’ve all heard comments like “She definitely wears the trousers” (read “pants” for our international ladies!) or “She’s got balls!”…and while this might not be anatomically accurate, it does sum the situation up pretty well (let’s face it, they’re not phrases we’d associate with femininity!).

You see, women have been so desperate to keep control of this chaotic life that the only way that they have found to do this has been to step into Superman (not even superwoman!) mode. The man of steel who is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Now, no self respecting woman would ever combine red underwear with blue tights, but how many of us feel that we need superhuman powers just to get through the week?!

The problem with this situation is that “wearing the trousers” takes real effort…its hard work. You need to force yourself to stay strong, to make everything happen, to prove that you can do it all. This “masculine woman” is stressed, overwhelmed, feels underappreciated and unhappy. Whether it’s at work or at home, she is struggling to keep all the balls she is juggling in the air. She often has health problems, a schedule which is running her ragged and time for her seems like a distant memory (Time for me? What’s that, I hear you say?!)

On the flip side, when you decide to hang the ‘trousers’ (or ‘pants’!) up and go back to being the real you – losing all the baggage, the competitiveness, the control and getting back to connecting with your femininity and enjoying the ride, it’s a whole different story.

So how can femininity work for me?

You see, a woman who is being completely and totally true to herself is powerful, confident and can just accept herself, as she is.

She doesn’t have to force anything or prove anything, she just does what comes naturally…and believe me when I tell you that it has an impact on every single aspect of her life.

Now, I want to be clear, by being feminine, I do not mean a return to domestic submission, aspects of servitude or the appeasement of the male species (sorry boys, but trust me when I tell you that you’ll enjoy this a whole lot more as well!)

…and it also doesn’t mean that we need to forget or lose touch with our masculine traits either, as everyone has access to both for a reason.

Personally, I think that femininity has been given a bad rap…and I would like to set the record straight.

I know you might think that the feminine you doesn’t exist, but maybe she’s just been buried for a little while…and the experience of digging her out and dusting her off will be well worth it, believe me.

So if you would like to find out more about femininity…then stick with me…it’s going to be a lot of fun! x

8 replies
  1. carmen
    carmen says:

    I really enjoyed the article, shared by Krisna on facebook. Truly spoke to me and confirmed I’m on the right path!

    I haven’t been superwoman, nor the energizer bunny; as a single mom trying to handle everything all at the same time and more, I’ve become superMAN. Feminine 1st will help me find my way back as it has already started pulling me to who I really am.

    Thanks for a great read!!

    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment Carmen.

      I completely understand the SuperMAN Syndrome…and believe me when I say that you’re not alone!

      I’m delighted that you’ve chosen to make Feminine 1st a part of your journey and I look forward to working with you along the way.

      If there is anything in particular you would like to know more about then let me know and I’ll do my best to bring you some information on it.

      The fact that you feel that you’re already being pulled to who you really are means that the first steps (which are often the most challenging) have been taken – congratulations!

      Looking forward to celebrating more with you with every step you take.

      Big hugs,

      Claire x

  2. Heather
    Heather says:

    Hi Claire,
    Way to go, you fabulous female! I couldn’t agree more. We need to embrace what makes us different and not try to ‘compete’ on the male playing field. Competition isn’t necessary or desired. Greater depths of love, inspiration, and achievement will come only when we use and appreciate our unique gifts. Nice article…keep ’em coming. 🙂

    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Hi Heather,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment!

      I couldn’t agree more with what you’ve said here…and I look forward to hearing your thoughts about other articles in the future.

      Big hugs,

      Claire x

  3. Yvette
    Yvette says:

    Dear Claire,
    Thanks so much for sharing this. I am so enjoying reading this, and am looking forward to what follows.. I too recognize myself wanting to control everything,and not letting things flow and feel confident about my the steps i take. I am getting there, but still needs to be reminded. So thank you for this! Keep up the good work!
    Big hug, Yvette

    • Claire
      Claire says:

      Hi Yvette,

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read the article, and to post a comment. I think we have all had challenges with control and letting go at some point in our lives and with this new site and group I’m hoping that ladies will be able to share and learn from each other’s experiences!

      Big hugs,

      Claire x


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *