How to get your balance…


No, I’m not talking about walking down the road with a Manolo Blahnik bag in one hand and a Jimmy Choo bag in the other.

I’m talking about balance in life.

We hear about balance all the time.

Work-life balance.

Balanced diet.

Emotionally balanced.

Balance the cheque book.

In the balance.

The balancing act.

A balanced relationship.

On balance.

It seems to feature in almost every area of life.

But how much time do we actually take to think about balance?

…and what on earth does it have to do with femininity?

Well, a lot of people think that masculinity and femininity are completely separate and because they are total opposites that they have nothing to do with each other.

When in actual fact, the reality is that each contains a part of the other.

I’m going to use the Yin Yang symbol here to demonstrate what I’m talking about.


For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, the concept of yin yang is used to describe how polar opposites (such as masculinity and femininity) are interconnected and interdependent.

With the Yin Yang symbol, the white represents the masculine, the black represents the feminine…and as you can see, each side has a small circle of the other inside it.

A truly masculine man, has a small element of femininity inside him, as a truly feminine woman has a small element of masculine.

The challenge that a lot of people face is that they struggle to getting the balance right.

Men have been told for so many years that they need to be in touch with their feminine side, that for many of them the small circle of femininity has grown to the size where it’s bigger than the masculine part.

Women have been told that they should ‘man up’, ‘play with the boys’ and “stop being so emotional” so many times that our masculine side has all but wiped out the feminine part altogether.

When the balance of our mindset and our behaviour no longer matches the balance of who we are at our core, that’s when we start feeling drained, stressed, unhappy and overwhelmed.

If you are a feminine woman at heart who is acting like a burly 6ft bloke, the chances are that you’re not very happy.

So what is the answer?

The B word. Balance.

It’s knowing that you have an element of masculinity inside you and for short periods of time when the situation demands it, it’s perfectly ok to step into your masculine and utilise that part of your personality.

The key is to be conscious about the fact that you are stepping into the masculine. You then need to be conscious of the best time to release the masculine and step back into your feminine again.

So how do you know when the balance is right?

Honestly, the best way is to just trust yourself, you know better than anyone what balance is right for you.

If you’re not quite sure then look back to the Ying Yang symbol…it will give you an idea of the proportions to start with.

Then just play with it and listen to what your intuition is telling you 🙂

Next time we’ll look at how you can identify whether you are in your masculine or just in a strong feminine mode, as well as a few quick tips on how to get back to your feminine quickly.

So enjoy ladies, find your balance, and remember to Stay Fabulous!

Claire x

P.S. If you haven’t seen it yet, check out this short video message, from me, to you, with love x

5 replies
  1. Bosko
    Bosko says:

    I have read your emails, your blog, but most rtmoitanply I have read the energy that you have put into this project. See had I read your emails without feeling your energy I would have let the masculinity come out but because I am interested and passionate about the subject matter I let my femininity take place! Love, my femininity is active and I am grounded to and receptive to your message.Yes, you are correct Etienne!! Wow, see I live through passion and if I do not fully enjoy something I am doing I hate it and unfortunately, at work is almost impossible to love it because, yes, everyone lets their masculinity come out and then it becomes imbalanced and miserable.OMG!! YOU have just uncovered what I have been searching for…my own answers. Though I remain feminine, in this culture is hard to truly be that…it’s not because I am not comfortable being feminine but because it’s a survival mode. Here in this culture you have to show you’re strong and ambitious, and over the years I have told them I am motivated but not ambitious. Ambition to me is insecurity…ambition is not me. Ambition is chasing and I don’t want to chase. Ambition what kills the feminine polarity. This is where the being busy term comes from. The question in this western world is What do you strive for in life? In this culture we’re taught to achieve the goals that are material but not necessarily kind to “love” that project peace and harmony. In fact, many women I see living two lives daily. One the work, tough, woman, and two the housewife or the person who has her life together.Wooow…you’re a amazing. I wish I was there to give you physical hug, and in the mean time receive my energy and feminity. Thank you and congrats!

  2. Danubia
    Danubia says:

    Oddly this really is me, more than one oesrpn has referred to me as a butch queen (I’m not fond of labels) But the truth is I can build house, wire it, plumb it. Go to the garage and put a new transmission in the car then go back in the house and spend all day picking drapes to match the new paint. Make a white wine sauce with just a hint of tarragon and sew a lace border on the new matching pillow shams.I’m a cross between Martha Stewart and Tim Allen and very comfortable in both worlds. I don’t care if I look masculine or feminine, I’m me, and at any given moment I can be one or the other or both!


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