Having shared my definition of Femininity some time ago…I thought it was about time I also shared my definition of Masculinity.
So which is better, masculinity or femininity?
The important thing to point out when talking about masculinity and femininity is that neither one is ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the other – they’re just different. Polar opposites. Yin and Yang.
Trying to determine which is better is like asking which are better, Manolos or Choos…neither is any better or worse than the other…just different 😉
The other thing to remember is that every single one of us has both masculinity and femininity inside us. At our core we will feel more comfortable with one of these energies than the other, but they are both there, and they are both helpful to us in different situations.
I’m often asked where the name ‘Feminine 1st’ came from and what it means. It is simply a reminder for women who are more naturally feminine to be “Feminine 1st” and then to utilise the masculine traits that they have as and when it is appropriate for them.
What does using masculinity mean for a woman?
Utilising our masculine traits often requires the use of testosterone…and for us ladies that chemical is in relatively short supply. So when we stay in our masculine for long periods of time we drain our testosterone supplies which leaves us only one option…adrenaline. Running on adrenaline for any period of time leaves us feeling drained and can lead to burn out (which we’ve all experienced from time to time)…which is the reason it’s so important to be able to move back into our feminine whenever we can.
It’s not about being ‘only feminine’ or denying that the masculinity inside us exists. It’s just about being the way that is more natural to us for the majority of the time, being able to bring in and use the traits of the other energy whenever it’s right for us to do so and then move back to our natural position again.
Remember the Yin-Yang symbol…the feminine side has a small piece of the masculine inside it….and vice versa.
It’s this dance between the femininity and masculinity inside us which makes life interesting!
So what exactly IS Masculinity?
So in order to be able to recognise and utilise the masculinity traits that we have inside us, I’ve put together a little acronym to help us remember them: M.A.S.C.U.L.I.N.E.
- M – Motivated – Masculinity is very driven. It’s about being strongly motivated and having the drive for achieving whatever the individual is focused on at any moment in time.
- A – Assertive – Masculinity is very assertive….sometimes this assertiveness can show itself as being forceful, wanting to lead or be in control, but it comes from a place of strength and being purpose-driven.
- S – Structured – Masculinity is very structured…often focusing on systems, processes and procedures to ‘get the job done’.
- C – Competitive – Masculinity is very competitive. Competitive sports and environments are where the masculine thrives – the thrill of competition, winning, beating other people (not literally!) and ‘coming out on top’ feed the masculine energy.
- U – Unwavering – Masculinity is very focused…and this focus is often completely unwavering. This can sometimes be perceived as being tunnel-vision or seeming blinkered…but this laser-focus means that the individual keeps their ‘eyes on the prize’ at all times. The masculine energy has a strong sense of ‘purpose’, when a masculine person is working towards that purpose or mission they are completely unwavering in their approach.
- L – Logical – Masculinity is very logical, and therefore sometimes can appear quite un-emotional. Rationalising, analyzing, problem-solving, deducing are all common masculine traits….we all know that masculine men have a tendency to want to ‘fix the problem’ more often than dealing with the emotion!
- I – Independent – Masculinity is very independent. Whereas feminine energy tends towards community and connection (especially in times of challenge), the masculine is much more self-sufficient and will often cut themselves off, take time and space on their own to work through any challenges that they are facing.
- N – Naturally Protective – Masculinity is naturally protective. The masculine instinctively protects and defends that which he loves and holds dear. This can sometimes be perceived as machismo, misogyny or jealousy…but it is instinctive for a masculine man and originates from a place of love.
- E – End-Result Orientated – Masculinity focuses on the ‘end-result’. It is very goal-oriented and purpose-driven, always working towards an objective or outcome.
Quite often people look at the definition of masculine traits and perceive some of them in quite a negative way (competitive, independent, unwavering)…but it’s important to realise that each of these traits have a purpose and a use in different situations.
Recently I heard masculinity and femininity described in terms of a glass and body of water. The water is the feminine, flowing and nourishing and the glass is the masculine, structured and hard. In order to really enjoy drinking the water, you need the glass in order to contain it. It doesn’t change the water, it just gives it a container in which to flow. Sometimes you need a little structure in order to allow yourself to flow freely within it….to get the best of both worlds.
…and as always it’s about balance. Finding the balance of femininity and masculinity which is right for you.