Quite some time ago I wrote an article defining feminine and femininity…but defining it and knowing how to be more feminine are two very different things.
One of the first questions that a lot of women ask me is quite simply, “How can I be more feminine?”
One of the challenges with answering this question is that it assumes (in asking) that you aren’t already feminine enough.
So why would you like to know how to be more feminine?
So my first response if you’re asking this question is, “Why do you want to learn how to be more feminine?”
This question tends to bring up some interesting responses….
“Well, I’m a woman, I should be more feminine”
“I want to be more feminine because I think my husband / partner / boyfriend / guy I’d like to date would like it”
“Other women are more feminine than me and I want to be more like them”
“My mother / father / sister / friend / any other person would like it if I was more feminine”
“I want to prove how much of a woman I am, by being as feminine as possible”
If you’re wanting to be more feminine because you think you ‘should’ do it…then first ask yourself the question…why should I? Second, take a quick peek at this article to see whether it’s something you want to do or an idea that has come from someone else that doesn’t resonate with you.
If you want to know how to be more feminine for anyone else other than yourself, then the chances are it’s not because it feels right for you…it’s to make someone else happy. Changing yourself to make someone else happy isn’t often the path to being happy yourself.
In fact, if the answer to this question is anything other than some variation of ”It’s what feels right for me”, then I’d love to have a conversation with you.
Because your femininity is exactly that.
It’s not about anyone else, or anything else, it’s all about you.
If you feel that you would like to get more connected with your feminine side, then this is the place, and the article for you…and I’m delighted to share with you.
In learning how to be more feminine…don’t forget the masculine!
So when we’ve established that you’re doing this for yourself, your whole self and nothing but yourself, the second thing for me to remind you is that balance is essential.
It’s important to remember that neither the masculine nor the feminine is better or worse than the other. They are equal and opposite…neither is good or bad, wrong or right, positive or negative.
We all have both masculine and feminine inside us, so it’s important not to deny either side of ourselves…but to find the balance of the two sides that is right for you.
As a woman it may be that you grew up to understand that behaving in a more masculine way would help you to be more successful, or that it’s the way you ‘should’ be, or it was the way you needed to be to protect yourself from getting hurt.
The only guide to find the balance that is right for you, is the one that feels right to you in your heart.
We all need both our masculine and our feminine…and it’s important to find the balance that feels right for us.
So what does knowing how to be more feminine look like to you?
So the final thing that I will share with you before we dive into answering the all important question of how to be more feminine, is that there isn’t a ‘one-size fits all formula’.
As much as I would love to tell you that all you need to do is X and Y followed by a little bit of Z, in order to know how to be more feminine, it doesn’t really work like that.
Because as we mentioned above, your femininity is YOUR femininity. It’s unique to you.
…and what is the key to you connecting with your femininity? It’s finding whatever it is that will make you FEEL more feminine.
As I’ve shared before, femininity is something that comes from the inside out. It’s not something that you can put on, it’s not something you can ‘make happen’ and it’s not something you can ‘fake’.
True femininity shines when you’re feeling undeniably feminine inside to such an extent that it radiates out of you. At that point other people can see it and feel it too.
So in order for you to know how to be more feminine, you need to feel more feminine.
…and in order to feel more feminine you get to create your very own unique ‘femininity formula’.
So what on earth is your unique femininity formula?!
It’s the completely unique combination of things that you can do for yourself that will make you feel most feminine.
When you find that you find your super secret, special ingredient, fabulously fast shortcut to feeling more feminine than you ever have before.
So next week I will sharing with you a few ideas for you to play with that might be a part of your unique femininity formula.
…and if you’d like some one-on-one help to discover your unique femininity formula, then drop me an email and we can set up a free “Soul Session” to get you on the path to uncovering yours: Claire@feminine1st.com